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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what's an adult problem that nobody prepared you for?

686 replies

Midge1978 · 21/04/2018 23:22

For me it's keeping the bathroom clean. I don't think I ever saw my mother clean hers but it was always immaculate and rosey smelling. I can't seem to keep on top of the mould monster in mine!

OP posts:
eitak22 · 23/04/2018 12:52

Dealing with losing a parent
Being bullied at work
Sorting out taxes

Zaphodsotherhead · 23/04/2018 12:56

Never being able to get really really excited about anything without first running through any problems that might arise, how to solve them, emergency contingency plans...takes all the fun out of doing anything exciting.

Greymisty · 23/04/2018 12:58

I'm feeling this thread so hard I might marry it or my head might fall off from nodding in agreement so much.

FilthyforFirth · 23/04/2018 13:10

How beyond difficult it is to sell a house. We did move as children, though not often and now I understand why. It is harrowing and for me, the absolute worst part of adulthood so far.

Onemorning · 23/04/2018 13:24

How much I'd start to piece together my childhood and how angry I'd become about the way I was treated.

That I'm still capable of making thesaurus idiot mistakes I've been making since I was a teenager.

That half the time I feel like my scared teenage self but I have to put my big girl pants on and deal with stuff.

Blackdogsrock · 23/04/2018 13:41

Realising that same shit different day is true. Understanding that even if you work your arse off you will still get shafted by unethical employers.
On a positive note getting to retirement age and realising so what if the house isn’t immaculate, that your ex is a bastard that I don’t give a damn anymore, my life my choices !

KriticalSoul · 23/04/2018 13:58

How to be a mum to a disabled child and all the shit that involves with filling out forms and arranging appointments

Oh, and organising finances/insurances...etc

And just how fucking lonely it is when you have no friends and no-one gives a shit about you.

VickieCherry · 23/04/2018 14:12

Yes also to schooling in the 90s not mentioning that some industries and professions pay a hell of a lot more than others. 'Do what you love' is not necessarily going to make you enough money to live on.

ChiaraRimini · 23/04/2018 14:14

How to deal with a lazy incompetent and narcissistic husband.
I wish someone had told me it was ok to get divorced.

SunwheretheFareyou · 23/04/2018 14:18

Never wiped a skirting board and we are all alive and kicking here Hmm.
I do occasionally hover ours in hall because that one has a ledge and gets dust... If I remember

MargoLovebutter · 23/04/2018 14:21

Hug Kritical - so sorry you are feeling that way.

TossDaily · 23/04/2018 14:57

How fast life goes once you hit thirty.

How bloody boring, relentless and pointless house-cleaning is.

How worrying having children is, and that the worries don't reduce as they grow up - it just gets worse.

How your metabolism slows down once you're over 40, and you really don't need much food at all.

How lack of self-confidence doesn't automatically cure itself once you're a grown-up, and it really will hold you back in quite profound ways.

What an absolute bitch of a bastard hindsight is. I HATE it.

TossDaily · 23/04/2018 14:59

Oh, and that you should REALLY put more thought into the marriage than the wedding.

Dresses, place-settings and floral arrangements mean the sum total of fuck all. For God's sake pick a good partner. That's all that matters.

halfwitpicker · 23/04/2018 15:09

Skirting boards. WTAF.

halfwitpicker · 23/04/2018 15:10

Agree with everything toss says.

comingintomyown · 23/04/2018 15:23

Ha ha yes hindsight fuck me what a pain that is !

A4710Rider · 23/04/2018 15:26

To ask what's an adult problem that nobody prepared you for

Still being in love with someone but not finding them sexually attractive anymore.

turnipfarmers · 23/04/2018 15:57

And just how fucking lonely it is when you have no friends and no-one gives a shit about you.

Yes.

Rudgie47 · 23/04/2018 16:09

Disillusionment and how to deal with it. Sums it all up nicely.

OverinaFlash · 23/04/2018 16:23

That you could want to have children and not get them. DH and I agreed that we've never felt more grown up then recently discussing how many rounds of IVF we are prepared to have, and what life will look like if it doesn't work.

IJustLostTheGame · 23/04/2018 16:24

That people have their own agendas.

Paperdolly · 23/04/2018 16:52

KriticalSoul. Read 'The Selfish Pigs Guide to Caring.' 👍🏻

PhaedrasChocolate · 23/04/2018 16:57

I could actually cry with relief at knowing so many people feel the same way as I do about life.

I'm not depressed, I'm just a bit gutted at how hard it all is, and how, for most people, there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Mine would be...

That as much as you try so hard to be an ace parent, it will not be good enough for your children. There will always be stuff that they resent you for.

Shockers · 23/04/2018 16:58

That by the time I had the confidence to take risks and accept challenges, my body wasn’t always up to the job. I still try, but often my physical health lets me down, and I hate it.

WarmFunKindStrong · 23/04/2018 17:05

That by staying home, looking after children, and caring for ill parents, whilst DH worked, would ruin my career so when we divorced I would have limited options. I now have the prospect of working well into my old age for a pittance...Sad

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