To not take my instagram posts down because of someone else's terrible lie?

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

My fucking family

A few weeks ago I got a message on Instagram from my brother's ex-wife. Not spoken to her since they divorced (they live away so really barely knew her) and it was a message of condolence for my grandad passing away.

This was news to me - my grandad is my only local family, I see him twice a week, he is 84 and in good health and we're very close. After feeling the blood rush out my body, I rang my mum abroad where she lives, I didn't dare call grandad's house in case he didn't answer. I asked if he died and she said "I don't think so" 🙄

So she rang my brother whilst on the phone to me. Apparently, he had their little boy that day, as he does EOW, and a female colleague called him to say that she was feeling down and depressed and could he come over no doubt for a shag. DBro rang his ex and simply said there was an emergency and he needed to bring their son back. She said no as she has plans with her partner. DBro was apparently so incensed at this 'unreasonableness' that he lied and said that the emergency was that grandad had died. She apologised, said of course you can bring him back, and hence the message to me.

I'm obviously furious and think it's a disgusting lie to tell. Not to mention when grandad does die, what will he tell her when he needs to come away for the actual funeral and maybe miss a visit from his son?

To make it worse, my mum defended his actions, but he can do no wrong and apparently "he wouldn't have to lie if his ex wasn't so difficult" she hates women BTW.

Anyway, fast forward a few weeks. Grandad has an Instagram account, mainly to keep up with the family, and I like to put photos of the kids on (I'm not that hot on social media but it seems to be a simple way to share pictures with him). I often put pictures of him and the kids on as he gets them saved and printed out and put into frames. I've done this this weekend when we've seen him.

I've been asked by Mum to take them down as ex-SIL now follows me and she'll realise he's not dead!

AIBU to say it's not my lie, not my problem, and I'll post what I like?

Also, it cost me £30 to make the phone call abroad to confirm he hadn't died not exactly relevant but throwing that in there as it's all pissed me off so much

YANBU! Wow your brother sounds like a prize wally!

Your brother is a bloody idiot.

Having said that, it’s not going to help anyone, least of all the child in the middle, if she realises that he has told such a dreadful lie. If it were me, I would take them down, but then I wouldn’t participate in the lie further if she were to ask or anything.

Your brother has put you all in a very difficult position just so he can get laid and I would be furious with him.

Mental. "Unreasonable"?! How dare she make plans on the day her children's father has them? Your brother is an absolute cock and your mum should not be colluding with him.

Bollocks to them. Leave them up. I'd even make sure it was obvious the photo was taken recently i.e. post his "death"

No! Leave the posts up! Not your fault he's a massive cheeky fucker who can't think up a more untraceable lie than something so easy to check!

I would tell your mother exactly that. Just be prepared for the fall out.

Not much point commenting on your brother’s behaviour or your mother’s defence of it. Your ex SiL sounds well rid.

It is obvious that they were taken the last few days as I've called it 'enjoying the sun with great grandad' or something similar!

Block her account from following you.

What age is the child? Is he old enough that he could tell her that the GP is still alive. Keep it up, OP. He’s a selfish arsehole, more interested is sex, than having his own child. What a scum bag.

Is text her back and say, grandads not dead. How has she come to the conclusion?

Your Dbro is a twat!

Didn't you reply to her and say he wasn't dead

Your brother is a dick though

His DS is almost 6. I did wonder what he'd told him as surely his mother will want to have the conversation about death of great grandad?

DB said his colleague is just a friend who was feeling depressed that day and he didn't feel he could leave her own her own likely story

spare I think I was in so much shock at first I didn't reply, then I just didn't want to get involved. It was a lovely message as well about what a nice man he 'was'

She know now she there’s no need to stop.
And if she did yanbu anyway

Block her account from following you.

Why on earth should she block someone she is on decent terms with because her brother is a dick? He needs to sort his own mess out

Your brother is a bloody idiot! What a horrible lie to tell.

Message her back and say, thank you, yes he IS a lovely man, but he isn't dead. Why would you think he is?

Fucking hell OP! Your poor grandad! Does he know his grandson has been telling people he's dead?

Shocking behaviour from your cunt of a brother, who clearly cares more about getting his dick wet than he does about either his child or grandfather.

No way would I remove the photos. And I'd tell your brother's ex exactly what really happened too.

You could always ask her to speak to her son about great grandad, but ask her to keep you out of it. 😉

Why on earth should she block someone she is on decent terms with because her brother is a dick? He needs to sort his own mess out

I came on to write exactly this. Why are people expecting you to cover up his lies? That’s batshit!

Does he know his grandson has been telling people he's dead?

No! I made everyone, including DH, swear not to tell him as I think he'd be really upset (who wouldn't be!)

Will his child not see great-grandad at some point and then it'll all come out anyway? Or is he planning to keep him out of his life forever for the sake of a shag? What a dick. I wouldn't support him in the lie no, especially as it was done to spend less time with his kid and get his end away!

Yeah sorry I'd tell the ex too (probablt the way people have suggested on here, i.e. why on earth would you think he's died?) and I wouldn't take down the photos and if your DB or DM had the nerve to be pissed off about it I'd be telling them where to get off.

Who the fuck thinks it's acceptable to lie about an elderly relative dying?! What's he going to do when he actually does die?! And yeah, at 6, even if you don't bust the lie your DN will.

I would tell your SIL the truth about granddad if it was me.

Your brother's a selfish twat and your mother is enabling him. Don't participate.

The poor woman deserves to know.

So your mum wants you to pretend your granddad is dead? How bloody awful. Sounds like your brother is cut from the same morally bankrupt cloth, sorry. I hope your granddad never finds out about this.