To not take my instagram posts down because of someone else's terrible lie?

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

My fucking family

A few weeks ago I got a message on Instagram from my brother's ex-wife. Not spoken to her since they divorced (they live away so really barely knew her) and it was a message of condolence for my grandad passing away.

This was news to me - my grandad is my only local family, I see him twice a week, he is 84 and in good health and we're very close. After feeling the blood rush out my body, I rang my mum abroad where she lives, I didn't dare call grandad's house in case he didn't answer. I asked if he died and she said "I don't think so" 🙄

So she rang my brother whilst on the phone to me. Apparently, he had their little boy that day, as he does EOW, and a female colleague called him to say that she was feeling down and depressed and could he come over no doubt for a shag. DBro rang his ex and simply said there was an emergency and he needed to bring their son back. She said no as she has plans with her partner. DBro was apparently so incensed at this 'unreasonableness' that he lied and said that the emergency was that grandad had died. She apologised, said of course you can bring him back, and hence the message to me.

I'm obviously furious and think it's a disgusting lie to tell. Not to mention when grandad does die, what will he tell her when he needs to come away for the actual funeral and maybe miss a visit from his son?

To make it worse, my mum defended his actions, but he can do no wrong and apparently "he wouldn't have to lie if his ex wasn't so difficult" she hates women BTW.

Anyway, fast forward a few weeks. Grandad has an Instagram account, mainly to keep up with the family, and I like to put photos of the kids on (I'm not that hot on social media but it seems to be a simple way to share pictures with him). I often put pictures of him and the kids on as he gets them saved and printed out and put into frames. I've done this this weekend when we've seen him.

I've been asked by Mum to take them down as ex-SIL now follows me and she'll realise he's not dead!

AIBU to say it's not my lie, not my problem, and I'll post what I like?

The fact that your brother only see's his kid eow but drops him in a flash for a woman! Pffft he sound like a nightmare not his ex!

I would tell XSIL the truth - as a few people have said, thank her for the concern but tell her there's obviously been a misunderstanding as grandpa is alive and well.
Deleting the posts is basically joining in with this vile charade, and you obviously don't want to do that. Your mum and brother sound like idiots, sorry.

Jeremy Kyle much?

If this were me, I'd be setting ex Sil straight on what happened, not just not deleting the photos, but letting her know, so she doesn't make the same mistake of bending over backwards to accommodate your twat of a brother. Honestly, I have a few friends in this situation, with exes who expect the moon on a fucking stick in terms of flexibility, messing the mother of their children around over contact time and my poor friends running themselves ragged until they get wise and stop being so accommodating. One friend has been disciplined at work as she's had to drop workdays cause ex has not turned up and too late to arrange childcare - and she already lost one job because of the abusive cnut when she was married to him! It's easy to see why your brother is such a flake - your parents did a crap job bringing him up and your mother enables him. Well done you for breaking the mould and not bein like them

YANBU

You are not being unreasonable. At all.

I was going to say, although I hate lying, I probably would take something down as a favour but after reading what he has done I think let him hang.

The lie was bad enough but dumping his son back early for some woman at work is worse.

I can understand your Mum though. She won't want it getting back to your Grandad. I actually think in this case saving your Granda's feelings would trump anything else so I might actually consider taking it down.

There's no right or wrong as far as you're concerned. Your brother on the other hand is all kinds of wrong.

I'd tell grandad, Id love to be around to read my epitaph!

Id also let grandad tell grandson hes a monumental shit bag and to grow the fuck up!

Thanks all. I'm definitely keeping them up.

I don't see Dn That often as they live so far away but I feel it's so deeply unfair on him to spin a lie like this. And yes my grandad is as fit as a fiddle, I am certain he'll be getting a letter from the Queen (or King, I guess!) so god knows how DB is going to keep up the lie!

No doubt if it all kicks off it will be my fault. I'm trying to imagine what I'd say to a poster who came on to say their ex lied about their grandparent dying to dump their son back on them to go for a shag. I'd probably tell them he wasn't fit to be a parent.

You have been approached directly by her - it's not like you've gone digging for problems or to cause an issue.

Nephew is going to bring up seeing Great Grandad surely? The man is an idiot and it's clearly for getting his end away rather than any great care for this colleague.

The sort of man that he is is clearly laid out bare - drops to fortnightly visits rather than weekly contact with his son for his own selfish means (imagine how other 24/7 parents feel, mate!) , drops his son for a quick bunk up after not seeing him for a fortnight and makes up a heinous lie to do so (one that could be found out so easily in many many different ways!)

Tell the truth and let him deal with the consequences!

If they do try to blame you when it kicks off don't entertain it.

Shut it down with a swift "Not my circus, not my monkeys". If they have a problem they can take it up with him. This is his doing.