SIL wants her baby to 'catch a tan'

[LocksHear]

AIBU to be fuming?!

She refuses to cover him up and isn't applying any sun lotion. Baby is 10 months.

Apparently no one puts sun lotion on their kid's in her country, and they're just kept out of the sun when it's at its strongest (between 1.30/3)

She's adamant he doesn't burn, and she doesn't. Which is true. But burning isn't the only sign of skin damage by the sun. So is a sun tan. Any change to pigmentation is, isn't it?

I was at the park with her and all the kids yesterday, I made a point of putting sun lotion on all of mine, and made sure I had loads in my hands when I said "Oh I've loads left. Let me do yours. Might as well, loads left "

She was very and said I'd rather you didn't. I didn't know what to say to that. 5 minutes later she claimed to have a migraine coming on and left.

I've been advised to report her to her health visitor but I know she doesn't have one.

'We live in Britain not Gibraltar theres no need for sunscreen over here its just a marketing scam
If your that paranoid about a little bit of tan then use something all natural like coconut oil'

That's probably the most stupid comment I've ever read on here, and that is really saying something!

I can't quite believe that anyone is defending the woman who wants her baby to TAN. Not just to get some sunlight, but to get a tan. But no, it's OP who is wrong for committing the hanging offence of 'judging'

OP, you are the one with your head screwed on here

www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/causes-of-cancer/sun-uv-and-cancer/ways-to-enjoy-the-sun-safely

Helpful guidance from cancer research. My DC have a different skin type from me aa states earlier in the thread. I burn easily and was badly burnt on my legs during a trip in Scotland when I was a teenager. I wasn't sun bathing just walking around on a sunny day, it was so bad it got infected and i had to visit the nurse every two days to get my dressing changed. Still have scars, that was at a time where we didn't use sun cream. I smother it on myself as I just need to look at sun and go red. We just need to be sensible.

It's normally hottest here (Scotland) around 4pm rather than lunchtime.

@Teateaandmoretea
Yes of course balance is needed. But people rambling on about chemicals might wish they had rubbed a bit on their skin in particularly strong sun if they end up with cancer!

The ignorance and plain stupidity on this thread is astounding. As a doctor I’ve seen plenty of skin cancer, in fact a 40 year old patient of mine died last week. As a child my mum never bothered with sun cream, and all my summer memories are of crying in pain at night as my back peeled.
And yes, I know we need vitamin D, which is why most people should take supplements these days.

What exactly is the objection to supplements?

Surely you all (or most of you) use soap, shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, some processed foods or drink?

I really don't get the hysteria around sunscreen.

I’m surprised at the amount of people who believe that using sun cream stops the absorption of vitamin D - it doesn’t.
Taken from www.skincancer.org here
High-SPF sunscreens are designed to filter out most of the sun’s UVB radiation, since UVB damage is the major cause of sunburn and can lead to skin cancers. UVB wavelengths happen to be the specific wavelengths that trigger vitamin D production in the skin. Nonetheless, clinical studies have never found that everyday sunscreen use leads to vitamin D insufficiency. In fact, the prevailing studies show that people who use sunscreen daily can maintain their vitamin D levels.

Also:

In short, unprotected sun exposure puts you at risk for any number of conditions that can permanently damage your skin, disfigure you, sometimes even kill you. And the regular use of sun protection can go a long way to keep any of that from happening.

Why even risk it? I think deliberately trying to get a baby to tan is irresponsible. Some children naturally tan, even with sunscreen (my dd included) but a baby of that age has such delicate skin that they are at a much higher risk of burning.
Also those saying they are more worried about chemicals, you can get natural organic sun cream. I’m sure there are more chemicals in baby shampoo tbh!

Agree JammieBammie.. Anxious about putting 'chemicals' on there DC skin but probably dont mind giving there DC antibiotics, calpol, immunisations....

I have polymorphic light eruption which means I have to stay out of the sun. Factor 50 every day
Some people with PLE find factor 50 actually makes it worse, as it’s too cloggy on the pores. Some people work fine with it (I use 50 on myself).
Have you tried AGR +E cream? It’s ingredients are fairy dust and miracles, I’m telling you.
Then altruist dermatology suncream or eucarin suncream over the top of it.

Yes when it’s no longer possible to protect a small baby easily things what you do can change.

Growing up in Aus we were well-versed in how lethal the sun can be. Although when we were little everyone was very lax. Not anymore which is good.

To the person berating the OP re: there's other ways to protect a baby from the sun. Yes there is. As you say. Clothing and shade. But that's not the point. The OP said her SIL wished her baby's to have a tan.
Completely different ballgame entirely.

kreigers that cream looks amazing..I use eucerin sun cream but have never heard of that

Wow, it’s her business. May not be the best option, but still her business. Report her to her health visitor? Really????? Is this an interfering MIL thread or am I misreading?

We all need a small dose of sun when we can get it. There is a vitamin D epidemic that is down played by the NHS and a lot of people are walking around unaware they are deficient. A small dose of sunshine and then cover up. No toxic sunscreen needed.

I didn’t put sun cream on my kids until they were about 2. I decided that if it was so sunny they needed sun cream then actually it was too sunny to be in the sun. We sat in shade, went to parks outside of the hottest times of day, wore hats etc. They caught the sun when walking around and being out and about but it made us pretty careful in a good way. Sun cream full of chemicals and also I think it kills people into a false sense of security. Good on her for telling you not to.

I have family in Gibraltar and they all put suncream on! my daughter is half Indian and i put suncream on her.. she rarely burns but still, protects from UV rays too x.x

lottapianos I think "tan" may not mean the same thing to the SIL as it might to you, she isn't off to the tanning shop so that baby looks pretty. I think the belief is that a skin which has regular healthy e

oops, pressed send too son. lottapianos I think "tan" may not mean the same thing to the SIL as it might to you, she isn't off to the tanning shop so that baby looks pretty. I think the belief is that a skin which has regular healthy exposure is less likely to burn. I wonder whether rates of melanoma is higher or lower where SIL comes from (unless that has already been said and I ahve missed it)

OP I think it is ok to worry about skin, but are you taking on all babies in the world exposed to sun or is just SIL's? I wear factor 50 as do dc because we burn terribly otherwise, so I am with you on protection, but I think how you talk about SIL shows some deeper issues than suncream, and if you treat her as you talk about her, it will not be good for her dc emotionally because it comes across as without any respect or good feeling. There are better ways to get your point across than you are coming up with here.

Someone has just posted a link which contains the following extract (no idea how true this is but if it is we all need to bear it in mind):

"Journal of Clinical Pharmacology and Therapeutics reports that "Sunscreens protect against sunburn, but there is no evidence that they protect against basal cell carcinoma or melanoma. Problems lie in the behavior of individuals who use sunscreens to stay out longer in the sun than they otherwise would. Vitamin D inhibition is, at this stage, unlikely due to insufficient use by individuals. Safety of sunscreens is a concern, and sunscreen companies have emotionally and inaccurately promoted the use of sunscreens"

And then the website says: "Despite the push for more awareness about sun exposure, and the advice to use sunscreen whenever we go outside, incidence of skin cancer, especially melanoma, is rising dramatically....In fact, skin cancer rates are rising by 4.2% annually, despite the fact that we spend less time outdoors and wear more sunscreen."

angelcat3 Do you use shower gel, soap, shampoo, give your kids calpol & antibiotics if they need it, consume any processed food or drink?
All have chemicals in.
Why so against sunscreen that may prevent cancer? cancer!

I was diagnosed as having a vitamin D definciency which causes major muscle pain. My doctor put this down to my parents insistence of using sun cream too much and not allowing me to absorb vitamin D from the sun. He also said this was probably the cause of me burning so much as an adult and that I could no longer just rely on suncream because it had damaged my skins natural defences. He shared an article with me and I now only use it on my DS if he has to be out in the sun between the hottest times. I prefer to use a hat or clothes to protect because they let the vitamin D through.
The article he shared was www.scotsman.com/news/increase-in-rickets-linked-to-overuse-of-sunscreen-1-3747234

There is a middle ground between completely blocking out all of the sun's rays and lying out in the sun all day covered in oil to get a tan. It seems like the people who are fanatical about sunscreen can't see that. Not one person has said the woman in the OP is right to want her baby to tan have they? Lots of people have said they allow their older children some time in the sun, outside of peak UV index times, without sunscreen but protected by hats or clothes. What exactly is wrong with that? That's the advice given by doctors. I'd rather my DD get natural vitamin d rather than supplements. Quick call social services!

I don't think it's right to leave a baby in full sun without protection. I also don't agree with the OPs tone about it though. She should speak to her SIL about it in a non judgemental, non ranty way and without threatening to report her.

water is a chemical.
air temperature is unrelated to uv strength.
sunscreen reduces uv, doesnt eliminate it. I would say ' do the maths' but as so many on here clearly sat at school flicking their hair, I doubt they are capable.

but everyone on here can read. find some simple science sites. not those written by anyone selling things, using the word 'toxin' or ' natural'.

NZ Māori people have very high rates of melanoma and other skin cancers. Their darker skin does not act as a protective factor.
I was forced to sit outside in the blazing sun on school sports days etc and got badly burned and decades later am having basal cell carcinomas and precancerous areas cut out and burnt off.
In past centuries people wore concealing clothing and it was not considered fashionable to have a tan.
Cancer rates will continue to grow until all those over exposed to the sun in infancy and as young adults pass on.
There is better public knowledge now but large numbers of young people still ignore warnings or forget to take care because they’ve been drinking.
Not much you can do OP but I don’t think you deserve the hard time some posters have been giving you. Why not email your sil helpful videos — maybe she might have reason to rethink her attitude

My dd tans easily. As a Baby I used Factor 50 Zinc Oxide based creams on her. Not really nasty chemicals, just a barrier cream. I'm surprised she's not getting tutting comments though as I took her out one day in spring only to be told she needed a hat/shade/suncream as couldn't I see how brown she was by various tutting people! I don't think YABU, the poor baby will grow up to find they have skin cancer, crow's feet and ruined skin in their twenties.

My kids get tanned in the summer! very gradually, over months.

They rarely wear suncream, only if they have to be out of the shade without protective clothing. Which is rare. But occasional (for instance if they are in the sea or swimming pool for a hour or so on a sunny day)

Usually they have loose long sleeved clothing, stay out of the mid door sun, and play in the shade when possible. The rest of the time they get a gradual dose of mild sunshine everyday, and by the end summer have tanned gradually. They then gradually lose the tan by the end of the winter. They've never burnt and hopefully by the time they are adults they will have learnt to behave sensibly in the sun too. Rather than just cover themselves in suncream and bake.