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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say that Ross and Rachel were not on a break, but even if they were..

56 replies

SneakyGremlins · 21/04/2018 12:37

It only took Ross three hours to throw a relationship away?

OP posts:
Quickerthanavicar · 21/04/2018 12:38

who?

SoBoredOfThisShit · 21/04/2018 12:40

They were on a break. Which she instigated.

WhenTheDragonsCame · 21/04/2018 12:42

They were on a break but it was still a bit shit sleeping with the xerox girl within hours.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 21/04/2018 12:42

He thought they’d broken up, she was the first to say “We were on a break”

SneakyGremlins · 21/04/2018 12:43

But on a break does not equal broken up! I always took it to mean "we're still an item but just taking some breathing space"

OP posts:
SelkieUnderLand · 21/04/2018 12:45

Yes. But that part of the show was imo realistic.

Women walk away from something that isn't working (he was jealous, or controlling I think) but it was still painful. 'He' (a tv character, but typical perhaps of his sex) got over it by sleeping with somebody.

So for all that he was controlling of her and jealous of her boss, HE was the one who slept with another person the moment it was not forbidden.

I think this is not unrealistic of men who control their partners.

Not a massive fan of Friends, v sexist,but this was true to life . Not good life, but true to bad relationships.

Blueemeraldagain · 21/04/2018 12:51

They were on a break that was her idea! It was low move to sleep with Chloe so quickly though. I do also think Rachel should have told Mark to piss off. I know she didn’t have any romantic intentions with him but I would have been upset in Ross’ postion.

YouTheCat · 21/04/2018 12:53

I always preferred the Monica/Chandler relationship.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 21/04/2018 12:54

They were on a break but it doesn’t mean he should go shagging someone else within hours. He also treated Chloe (the copy girl) like shit.

crunchtime · 21/04/2018 12:55

they were totally on a break!
she said she wanted them to be on a break!

StopPOP · 21/04/2018 12:55

Totally on a break and whilst a short time frame, I don't believe he was "in the wrong" however much of an arse he was otherwise. Though I totally forgive him because of the tanning salon episode 😂😂😂

MsGameandWatching · 21/04/2018 12:57

They were on a break and technically he did nothing wrong BUT what a pig of a man eh? I'd never get back with him, I would have married Gavin.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 21/04/2018 13:07

She didn’t instigate the break because she didn’t love him. She instigated it because of his massively unreasonable behaviour.

He was a controlling jerk who, for all his “Nice Guy” egalitarian facade, couldn’t stand it when Rachel’s career took off, and who did exactly what he was falsely accusing Rachel of -cheat- just hours after they split up.

As Chandler said “Bullets have left guns slower” Grin

Ok, upon previewing this message, it may be that I’m a bit over-invested in a fictional series! Blush

PoorYorick · 21/04/2018 13:08

The writers had to fix it so that you could see it from both perspectives and sympathise with them both.

That was actually one of the least nobbish things Ross did. He was a total arsehole. Rachel wasn't much better. That show has aged so badly. If it were a wine, it would be rancid vinegar by now.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 21/04/2018 13:09

“Bullets have left guns slower”

Friends doesn't age well, but there were some cracking lines (mostly Chandler's) and moments.

LaurieMarlow · 21/04/2018 13:11

I can't believe this is still being debated 25 years after the fact. Grin

He was clearly in the wrong, regardless of the technicalities. But then he treated a lot of his girlfriends/wives shittily, so no surprise there.

ShowOfHands · 21/04/2018 13:11

I don't think they were on a break. Rachel suggested it as a response to his terrible behaviour and he stormed off without discussion. There, importantly, was then a telephone conversation between them where they both affirmed they didn't want to split up at all. The pivotal change was Ross hearing Mark in the background and that's why he hung up and cheated. He even says afterwards that he only slept with Chloe because he thought Rachel was sleeping with Mark, not because of any break.

kmc1111 · 21/04/2018 13:16

They were on a break, which (in 90’s America at least) meant either broken up for now but maybe not over forever, or was just a gentle way of dumping someone forever. Either way, Rachel explicitly broke up with him and he was unattached when he slept with the copy girl.

Ross was also under the impression she’d already moved on with Mark because Mark was there having dinner with her when he called hours later.

StarsAndWater · 21/04/2018 13:20

I can understand that he thought they'd broken up and after hearing Mark on the phone, did something stupid.
Oddly enough, this was the one thing I think he was given a hard time for.
However, he was an incredibly aggressive and controlling character. He lost his temper at the slightest thing and had a real problem with being honest with any of his girlfriends or wives, and seemed to be unable to tolerate even the slightest indication of independence from them.
The way his shouting and temper tantrums were played for laughs was deeply creepy.
If he'd been a real life person who'd started dating one of my friends, I'd be seriously concerned.

Mintychoc1 · 21/04/2018 13:26

Rachel gets the last laugh though, months later, with the immortal line “it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to everyone, and it is a big deal”!

willynillypie · 21/04/2018 13:28

People like to say Ross was controlling, but he was 100% right about Mark! Mark just wanted to sleep with Rachel, and this was clear to everyone BUT Rachel. Ross acted like a jealous child due to her working hours, but she did instigate a break. They were on a break! No, it's not nice what he did but I can see why after he called her to find Mark there, which she lied about.

WetPaint4 · 21/04/2018 13:30

They were on a break. He shouldn't have slept with the Xerox girl so quickly but he didn't have a girlfriend at that point. It's gross that he used another woman as some sort of nasty payback though. I can see why Rachel was hurt but it was none of her business what he did during a break from their relationship.

TheAgonyofHouseBuying · 21/04/2018 13:41

Was it really 25 years ago? Shock

wibblywobblywoo · 21/04/2018 13:47

"It was a mistake!"

"A mistake??!! Where did you mean to put it, in her purse???"

Grin
AlwaysDancing1234 · 21/04/2018 13:55

It can’t be 25 years ago because that would mean I’m getting old waaaahhhh!!!

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