DS escorted home by the police - WTF?

[ReanimatedSGB]

He's 13 and a half. He hadn't done anything wrong (as they were at pains to assure me) but someone 'reported that he seemed to be lost and potentially vulnerable', so they had asked him where he lived, brought him home, asked for my name and phone number...

It's 5pm, on a lovely sunny afternoon. DS was coming home from school. He said he had been chatting to someone about trains and train stations (he is a transport nut) - and now this? WTF? I did say to the police that he likes transport and likes to watch the trams. I am not going to insist he stays indoors all the time - why should I?

Sounds to me as though he thought your son was being teased or bullied.

I think you need to find out more about the friends. Is your son mis-interpreting attention from his peers as a sign of friendship when in fact they are goading and bullying. Do you know these friends?

I find it hard to believe that someone would tell the police they thought your son was lost for no reason. The police must have thought something was wrong too or they wouldn't have accompanied him home.

Better that they walk a potentially vulnerable child home just in case than assume a child is fine and leave them in a dangerous situation surely?

What harm do you think has been done here?

OK:
DS would tell me if he was being bullied. He has been bullied once or twice in the past and is reasonably well aware as to whether someone is simply interacting with him or trying to have a go.
I asked him what happened WRT the schoolfriends, and he said they got off the tram a stop or two before he did. The transport police spoke to him afterwards.
In case it's not clear, this was the transport police/community police, not the actual police force (the transport/community lot have IME more time to do 'helpful' things like walking a kid home.

I am irritated because I have had previous experience of people whining and handwringing that they wouldn't let their DC go out alone (sometimes from people who either have no DC or currently just toddlers) and who think that I shouldn't. We had one incident last year when DS was attacked (and before anyone starts suggesting he brought that on himself, it was an attempted robbery by strangers) and I am on the whole glad that he still wants to go out and about by himself rather than being too scared to do so.

British Transport Police are an actual police force, not some toy bobbies.

As others have said the fact the man asked him if he was OK and then asked the police to intervene rings alarm bells. The police really do have better things to be doing. They brought your son home because they thought he was at risk.

My son is on the spectrum and doesn't have a clue when others are taking the piss out of him. I believe the so called friends your son was talking to were probably bullying him and everyone could see it but him.

Your reaction to the police bringing him home is bizarre. You should be grateful he got home safe. The fact that hundreds of other kids were making their way home by themselves has nothing to do with your son. It sounds like your having trouble accepting that your son may be a little different to other children.

Different NOT less.

Even high functioning asd children are vulnerable. I'm not suggesting you rap him in cotton wool but you need to accept that if he can't tell when he's in a dangerous situation then he may need a little bit more looking after than most other 13yr olds. And there's nothing wrong with that.

You sound very aggressive. And wrong.

The transport police are the real police.

Community police are the real police.

Why would anyone suggest your ds bought that on himself? . I think there is a lot of background that we’re not getting. So this whole thing is a little confusing.

Transport police are a police force with powers of detention,arrest, and have an armed response unit
They’re not jumped up conductors with a wireless
Youre v prickly op.no ones having a go at you or your son.

Oh, so I'm just supposed to be humble and grateful that my kid was basically not believed when he said he was fine and knew where he lived, thanks?

And go oh yes, it must have been his fault and he must be lying to me because PP are suggesting that he was making a nuisance of himself and bothering random adults?

If he takes after you, then yes.

If you’d allow yourself to calm down,be less conspiratorial,less prickly you’d maybe be able to establish what went on
Clearly this is too raw for you at present you’re blaming others and feeling got at

Oh, so I'm just supposed to be humble and grateful that my kid was basically not believed when he said he was fine and knew where he lived, thanks?

No. You are supposed to question your sons version of what happened because obviously it would be ridiculous for the police to bring him home for no reason. It has been suggested that you contact the police for clarification. Why don't you do that?

Oh, so I'm just supposed to be humble and grateful that my kid was basically not believed when he said he was fine and knew where he lived, thanks?

Yes, in a word.

Are you always this spiky?

If your ds has the attitude of his mother I suspect he wasn’t as innocent as you say and the police got a good measure of that. They don’t waste their time for nothing.

Why on earth didn't you question the police while they were at your house returning your son op?

None of us can accurately answer why they brought him home, we can only guess.

BTP don't often get off trains and get involved walking teenagers home so there must have been significant concern here.

If he had actually done something wrong, then why didn't the police say so? Why did theytell me they were just making sure he knew where he lived, and that they could 'see everything was all right and would take no further action'?

so I'm just supposed to be humble and grateful that my kid was basically not believed when he said he was fine and knew where he lived, thanks?

Yes. You should be grateful. Like when someone holds a door open even when you can open it yourself, or helps carry a bag to your car when you can do it alone.

Some people made an effort to HELP your child. For whatever reason- right or wrong- they believed him to be vulnerable and helped. They didn’t walk on by. You should be bloody grateful.

That aside, I am getting the impression that you are possibly in denial about your sons differences, and I don’t think that is good for him or you.

Why did theytell me they were just making sure he knew where he lived, and that they could 'see everything was all right and would take no further action'?

I dont know, why didn’t you ask them?

I think because he appeared vulnerable.

No further action against your son because he’s not a perpetrator of crime or person of interest

BUT something has caused enough concern that he was escorted home

Did they leave a reference or CAD number, you can call and ask officers to elaborate

No one is suggesting that your son brought "this" upon himself - I'm not sure what "this" is, since essentially nothing happened. Nor is anyone suggesting your son did something wrong. But a stranger and police officers all spoke with your son and thought some sort of intervention was appropriate. You need to find out why that is. That's not typical, which means something happened that caused them to behave in an atypical way.

No, no reference, no crime number. They were almost sheepish, kept saying that 'because a member of the public approached them, they had to act.'

I hope next time you need the police they are too busy to come, you’re so ungrateful!

Do you have. A point of contact?police officer names?location they’re based
I hope youre able to have queries answered to your satisfaction
You could google nearest BTP station and call,see if they can answer your specific queries

And no, I'm not grateful that someone seems to have taken it upon themselves to 'help' a child who didn't need or want help. My overall impression, the more I think about it, is that some or other officious dickhead was trying to meddle where he had no business.