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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS escorted home by the police - WTF?

245 replies

ReanimatedSGB · 19/04/2018 17:24

He's 13 and a half. He hadn't done anything wrong (as they were at pains to assure me) but someone 'reported that he seemed to be lost and potentially vulnerable', so they had asked him where he lived, brought him home, asked for my name and phone number...

It's 5pm, on a lovely sunny afternoon. DS was coming home from school. He said he had been chatting to someone about trains and train stations (he is a transport nut) - and now this? WTF? I did say to the police that he likes transport and likes to watch the trams. I am not going to insist he stays indoors all the time - why should I?

OP posts:
swingofthings · 19/04/2018 17:46

Don't get what the big deal. Someone reported him for whatever reason, police came, offered to take him back. Very nice and actually reassuring that people in the public bother to be concerned about people they think might be vulnerable and doing something about it.

Most teenagers would be excited at the idea of coming back with the police.

Original poster
ReanimatedSGB · 19/04/2018 17:46

DS is probably on the spectrum (we are waiting for referral) but high functioning.

OP posts:
LimonViola · 19/04/2018 17:47

Very odd, surprised at PP who think a thirteen year old teenager speaking to an adult is something to be avoided too. Surely at thirteen you're capable of talking to others and extracting yourself from a situation if you feel it's odd or risky in any way. I've had plenty of conversations with teenagers as an adult and adults as a teenager!

Also obviously it's fine for him to be out alone at a reasonable time of day, it'd be concerning if he didn't at this age.

I suspect police know more about the adult he was speaking to than they are able to let on, perhaps it's someone with a known history or risk.

LimonViola · 19/04/2018 17:49

Did the person actually want to talk to him about trains though? If a young teenager started randomly talking to an adult about a subject they had no interest in, I can see why they might have thought he was vulnerable. Especially if he didn't pick up on any cues that they might not be interested or perhaps just wanted to go about their day.

This is a good point, and if DS has some kind of known vulnerability (autism or a learning disability) then it changes things somewhat. A NT teen however should be more than capable of being our alone and speaking to others appropriately (and not speaking to others when appropriate too!)

scurryfunge · 19/04/2018 17:49

It makes sense that they thought the man may have been targeting your son.

WorraLiberty · 19/04/2018 17:52

Glad the police are able to check all is ok but who the hell reports a 13 year old being on their own outside??

No-one. Not even the guy who approached the police.

Sarahjconnor · 19/04/2018 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo · 19/04/2018 17:55

It sounds to me like the police knew something about the man and were just protecting your DS.

If your DS could tell the man was a bit odd, I'd imagine the police knew him to be very odd.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 19/04/2018 17:56

A man started a conversation with DS (same age) when he was on the bus (same age). His grandmother was on the same busy but a little distance away.

She didn't spot it at first - she said that the man was rather creepy and was asking him if he could show him where some place was, lots of personal questions, saying what a nice handsome boy he was... More than a bit of old chit chat (and Londoners just don't strike up random conversations!).

She told him to bugger off and not speak to random strange children.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 19/04/2018 18:00

He was surrounded by school friends and the man singled him out??

turnaroundbrighteyes · 19/04/2018 18:03

I wonder if the man interpreted your sons train chatter as him not knowing which train to get on and being lost?

PattiStanger · 19/04/2018 18:06

What happened to his friends? Do you know why the police singled him out?

BuggerBugger · 19/04/2018 18:07

I’m not sure you’re average paedophile seeks out the police to talk to just before following a victim home. Coppers tend to be pretty good at remembering faces!

So basically a concerned chap spoke to the police as he was worried about kids and people think he’s dodgy. No wonder innocent men avoid helping kids out.

BuggerBugger · 19/04/2018 18:07

Your, not you’re .

WhollyFather · 19/04/2018 18:08

The problem isn't with DS, or really with the Police, but in the mind of the adult busybody who decided to intervene.

I'd suggest you coach DS to be a bit more assertive when he is approached by police officers, to tell them (assuming he is) he's safe and happy and not lost and thanks for their concern but he doesn't need help. And does he not have a mobile on which he could have rung you to say what was going on?

As an aside, the amount of fear of strangers displayed by PP here doesn't bode well for the cohesion of our society.

fuzzyduck1 · 19/04/2018 18:08

I think that’s very nice of the police to take him home.
And for the other man to raise concerns with the police after talking to him. Not all strangers are not strange just concerned. With the way children don’t go out on there own without an adult these days maybe he though it was odd to see a youngster out on his own. Had his friends left him to make there way home in a different direction?

LuluJakey1 · 19/04/2018 18:08

I think it is all very reasonable.

Someone- who overheard his conversation witn his friends and was worried, or saw something he was doing that worried them- spoke to the police and said they were a bit concerned and thought he might be vulnerable. The police spoke to him, perhaps sensed themselves he might be on the spectrum and, not knowing exactly what his needs are, did the safe thing and made sure he got home. Seems totally reasonable to me.
If they had left him and something had happened everyone would be up in arms about that. They did the safe thing with a child who they suspected might be vulnerable but do not know him well enough to judge how vulnerable he is or isn't.
Perhaps the person heard some teenage 'banter' or teenagers not being very nice. Who knows! They were concerned enough to ask him if he was lost and tell the police they were a bit worried.
It all turned out well. Society looking out for each other. No harm done. Better that than him being picked on or upset.

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/04/2018 18:08

I think the police probabky know something you don't. Very odd

But police probably have to err on side of caution

I wouldn't be too angry though I mean people reporting kids they fear are in danger is good thing. It's nice if people are looking out for the kids I hope mine will do the same when they are older.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 19/04/2018 18:10

Not even the guy who approached the police.

You’re right. He just reported him for talking to his own friends.

WorraLiberty · 19/04/2018 18:10

I wonder if the man interpreted your sons train chatter as him not knowing which train to get on and being lost?

Yes that's what I was wondering and as the police happened to be there anyway, the man probably just casually gave them the heads up.

helpfulperson · 19/04/2018 18:11

I think that does sound like the police had reasons for their actions that they aren't able to share. I would suspect they knew the chap.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 19/04/2018 18:11

FFS DD 10's on her way home right now. Should I expect a police escort? Hmm

Original poster
ReanimatedSGB · 19/04/2018 18:12

I think that I am annoyed with the adult who by the sound of it a) butted into a conversation between teenagers and b) went and reported it to the police despite DS having said he wasn't lost and didn't need help.

OP posts:
grandplans · 19/04/2018 18:12

Who was he talking to exactly? His actual friends or just some kids from school?

Could it be that they were threatening him or taking the piss out of him in a way he didn't understand, and the passer by was concerned for him?

Or - could it be that the passer by heard him talking about trains and literally assumed he was lost (possible comprehension issue on the stranger's part) and the police thought - not quite sure what's going on here but no harm to take him home and see if it starts to make more sense?!

motorpink · 19/04/2018 18:14

Odd that they took your DS out of the company of his school freinds and brought him home on the say so of a rand9m stranger.

If the stranger was known to the police, why did they only consider one of a group of children to be at risk?

I would be calling them and ask8ng for some clarification as this whole situation is ofd