Calm me down please

[Doh9899]

Boyfriend has had a party last night at his flat, fair enough, I knew it was happening. 2 couples, one married one not and his best friend went so 6 people (I couldn't go for various reasons but not an issue). They also were going to be doing some light drugs which I don't at all condone (one reason for not going) but as boyfriend and I are engaged he wanted one last night of being an idiot. He rang me up last night saying how randy he was and wanted me to come over, clearly not himself and so i spoke to his sober friend and it was pretty clear my partner was the worst off out of them all and they were trying to look after him and I could hear my partner in the background wanting the phone back saying how he loved me and told his friends we were engaged (was a secret). I agreed with his friends that my partner needed to sleep off what he'd taken as he couldn't understand why he could hear me but I wasn't there (on the phone obviously) and we arranged they'd have his phone until they left and he could call me any time after 5:30 this morning. Now I've been awake since 4:30 waiting for him to tell me he's ok but Im now worried that he may have skyped his ex because I feel that she's prettier than me after I hung up and my phone isn't even connecting when I try to call him. So please Mumsnet. Convince me hes asleep (he's also an insomniac so sleeps in late) but convince me he's not a cheat. He and his mates said how he adores me so I know I'm being paranoid but I'm still concerned

This is not good basis for a marriage. He won't give up the drugs. You won't stop being insecure. 5 years hence you will be posting on here with a small baby asking us where you husband is.

He does but it was his friends birthday hense the Tuesday night and he booked time off work today because he knew hed be crashing. I know he hasn't cheated and im worrying over nothing. His ex only recently found out we were together at all and rang him in front of me asking if we were (none of her business either way) and he blocked her number after as it wasn't a saved number that rang him. Hope this is making sense and sorry for drip feeding

Prediction. The marriage won't last more than a year or two before you'd be on here asking advice because your husband said he'd give up the drugs and hasn't.

That's a really odd leap from 'is he asleep?' to 'has he Skyped his ex, she's prettier than me?'

Does he have a friendship with ex you're worried about?

People don't change when they marry btw. So if he's someone who enjoys getting wasted and taking drugs now, he will be someone who enjoys getting wasted and taking drugs if you marry.

Marry with that in mind.

All sounds very childish!

He's well aware he's in the dog house and I have work today myself so needed the sleep and for him not to keep calling which is what he wanted to do

He's off his face, of course he's not going to call. He won't surface until lunchtime.

Is this really what you want for the rest of your life?

He isn't a regular user by any means. His friend who's birthday it was is hense he did it at all and he's a grown man supposedly so I can't control his actions. I guess the bit that's made me panic is his phone won't even connect so it doesn't ring. Does anybody know why that happens??

So friends took his phone, so he couldn’t keep calling you?

His ex phoned him previously to ask if you 2 were together? How long have you been together?

Brokeforyou are you for real?
You're clearly condoning drug taking . How stupid.

My Top Tip - don't marry a druggie who you suspect will call his ex as she is prettier than you.

But you will ignore it of course.

Your engagement is a secret? Are you both 16?

I have to agree with TERFragette 's Top Tip.

Stop trying to call him, he's had a big night, he won't answer you. Give him until this afternoon. He's a douchebag but you know that already.

We've been together 5 years. Met when I was 24 he 26

Why is his ex from over 5 years ago, calling recently to ask if you 2 were together?

Do they have kids together?

Why the hell would an ex from FIVE YEARS AGO suddenly ring up asking if you were together?

You both sound 18 and young 18 at that. He isn't husband material. Throw him back in the sea and find another fish.

@Gingernutsandtea

"You're clearly condoning drug taking"

Yes. I realise. I wrote it.

"How stupid"

No.

At university and for a few years after me and most of my friends (Oxford Uni, now all successful and clean) took party drugs and enjoyed it. Coke, weed, mushrooms (although they were legal then), LSD, ecstacy. All taken in moderation and quite infrequently.

So, did your opinion of magic mushrooms change in July, 2005 when they became illegal? OK one day and terrible the next?

Do you ever drink alcohol? Home brewed alcohol?

We've been together 5 years. Met when I was 24 he 26

Top Tip - if he is causing you hassle at 5 years, don't make it 6.

In all seriousness, neither of you sound ready for marriage. Wait until you meet someone who respects you and acts like a grown up.

Definitely not 18 and she used to be friends with his older sister and asked how he was doing in a recent conversation a few weeks ago. This is all really stupid thinking about it 😂

He's not a regular drug user and they were doing to do some 'light drugs' - and then he's on the phone not understanding why he can hear you but not see you?

He was absolutely slaughtered and off his tits - that's not smoking a bit of weed, that's some fairly heavy usage.

He does not sound like a keeper, however much he professes to love you (whilst off his head). Shouldn't he have grown out of this behaviour by now?

They had to take his phones off him so he wouldn’t ring his ex.

You’re mad to be involved with him!

Awwww bless you both.

You both sound rather immature. Maybe a bit of growing up is needed BEFORE you decide to settle down.

Tis all gloom and doom at the moment though.