for being a SAHM

[2shoeswhoismshadowsnumber1fan]

i am a SAHM because
I have a severely disabled child. I have to be on call 24/7 as she also has epilepsy/
Dh is happy for me to be a SAHM and we manage finacially.
apart from respite we have no one to help if she is ill or in the school hoildays.

I just don't get it. The whole thing is nonsense. Do what is right for your own personal circumstance and accept that others will do what is best for them.

No speedymama you are wrong.

What is right for every single child, everywhere in the world, is that their mother stays at home and looks after them.

No what is right for every single child everywhere, is that their mother goes out to work and leaves them in the care of someone else.

Either of those sentences sounds absolutely barking, doesn't it?

Awen, I am that but I'm currently on Southern soil...I will track down your DP you know!

OMG not the hand that rocks the cradle......

I'm seeking a man in his late 30's who earns at least £60,000pa obviously!...I have no desire to steal your children however!

BTW, I married for love, not money. Hence why I work part-time. Silly me.

You're safe then speedymama, I'm not interested in your husband!

Phew!

I prefer full-time working Mothers, better also if Dad gets home a bit earlier than Mum!

Blimey Scottishthisle - re your response to my last post - I want to know if job No4 was even more exhalted! Seriously though, you have a good point, but it opens a wider debate about what constitutes happiness, and whether mothers - SAHM or not - have a realistic understanding of what can make for happiness. Certainly possessions and lifestyle probably don't count for much, whether achieved through ones career, marriage or both. I think (hesitant emoticon) that it probably boils down to inner contentment with oneself - and ones choices!

lol scottish thistle...your posts made me smile
Not sure if anyone here is a ER fan...but was quite funny when Abbey and Kovac (sp?) were looking for a Nanny and by coincidence Abbey was at a playground, finding herself in the midst of a load of Nannys, thinking she was one of them....really "opening" abbeys eyes...about what otehr duties Nannys "take" on

Yes I liked that scene in ER - her face when she heard about nannies borrowing employers' clothes when they were away, not to mention seducing their husbands.

Callmemadam...The next position after that was for a single working (more than part-time) Mum, I had learned never to work for another SAHM by then!

I do believe that there's a heck of a lot more to happiness than money hence why I've never gone for the highest paid jobs.

scotish thisthle,

are you working at the mo?

ChelseaMum, Yes I'm working at the mo though looking for a family to share me when my Boss leaves work in a few months!

Are you looking for a Nanny???

I am sahm at the mo but getting back into the rat race in a few months. Where are you anyway?

" as I've said before there's almost a duty to put other women above your own children even if you think it's better for your children to be home particularly if you're working in a good job.

Xenia i feel very sad that you feel it better to put the femenist movement above your own children, i just pray that the nannies they had were good and showed them the love and affection they would normally recieve from a parent.

I didn't hand them over for 8 years and go and fight for rights in Burma but or whatever but women have often put their children second to a cause. However it wasn't really like that - I worked and loved them and like all working mothers and fathers just about every evening there were a good few hours of chatting, putting to bed etc stuff. It's not all or nothing and your comment suggests that under 5s being for part of the day with someone other than the mother is bad for them. I don't even agree with that.

If you work and generate tax you also help pay for very worth causes too and the poor and hospitals etc as well as giving a good example to your children. Most women do this in the UK. There may be some 1950s retro grouping on mumsnet but stay at home mothers are quite rare.

pmsl

yes, if you work and pay taxes (or are self-employed and pay taxes) then you can also be damned sure that a big chunck of it under the current shit govt. goes towards fighting illegal wars that i NEVER voted for.

the way to make sure you help causes is by joining a charity and being active in their work, you don't have to put your baby in a sling and go to Tibet or the posh way, dump them with a nanny and go to Africa or somewhere.

my taxes go into some fecking black hole as far as i am concerned, but at least i am active in several charities and will soon be a trustee for one particular charity, which is how i contribute.

But if you were Bill Gates or that woman who runs that profitable hedge fund in London you could do so much more in terms of hiring people, having huge funds available etc so may be women working and making a lot of money do more good in the world than simply bringing up 2 well adjusted children and keeping a husband happy.

well actually i see my MAIN role in life as bringing up a happy, healthy child. my second role in life is making money, and will defo. consider employing female admin. staff as and when i need them.

no yanbu.

Omigod why is this still being debated? Everyone has a right to make their own decision so there's no point in it being deliberated over and over and over again, especially when there's nothing new being said.

ROFL at 1950's retro grouping on mumsnet