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for being a SAHM

492 replies

2shoeswhoismshadowsnumber1fan · 13/05/2007 10:12

i am a SAHM because
I have a severely disabled child. I have to be on call 24/7 as she also has epilepsy/
Dh is happy for me to be a SAHM and we manage finacially.
apart from respite we have no one to help if she is ill or in the school hoildays.

OP posts:
Swizzler · 13/05/2007 10:13

Why would you be being unreasonable?

saralou100 · 13/05/2007 10:15

has somebody said something to you??????

no its not unreasonable

franca70 · 13/05/2007 10:16

Is anyone giving you a hard time for this decision?

DimpledThighs · 13/05/2007 10:17

2shoes IME of you you are f-ing wonderful mother - anyone who has made you think you should change is clearly wrong.

Sorry if you don't like swearing but I feel strongly about this one.

SNOWBall4girlz · 13/05/2007 10:17

I do not think you are [being ureasonable that is]
do you mean that other people think you should work?
ie friends family
I think it is lovely that you can stay at home with your DD xx{{{hugs}}}}

2shoeswhoismshadowsnumber1fan · 13/05/2007 10:17

being a SAHM is often put down on here and I felt the need to show that it is not always a life style choice but something out of your controll. didn't know where else to post.

OP posts:
2shoeswhoismshadowsnumber1fan · 13/05/2007 10:17

and yes my db seems to

OP posts:
geekgrrl · 13/05/2007 10:20

of course you're not. has someone said something?

Or is it just the general guilt? (I get this - and then I have to give myself a mental slap and remind myself that for the past week dd2 has had 1 half-day medical appointment every week, and that she wakes up all throughout the night - don't think I'd make a great employee)

franca70 · 13/05/2007 10:21

Nonsense! You're doing a terrifc jobs.
And to be fair, on here both sahm and wahm manage to attract criticism.

BandofMothers · 13/05/2007 10:21

I love being a SAHM.
I chose it. I went back to work full time for 6 mths when DH wanted a break and to find a job he really liked.
I hated it. I didn't have children to leave them with someone else while I work.
I fully intend to go back to work when they are both at school, but until then I want to enjoy their too short childhoods while I can.
I don't see anything wrong with it, don't think it's remotely unreasonable, in fact it is a natural thing for women to do since um........the dawn of the human race.

Any holier than thou, I am better than SAHM's cos I work too pissant can FECK OFF.

geekgrrl · 13/05/2007 10:22

yeah well your db doesn't live your life, does he?
try to ignore, he's got no clue

sandcastles · 13/05/2007 10:22

You are doing what feels best for your family & do not need to justify your choice to anyone.

I am a SAHM, just because I want to be....

franca70 · 13/05/2007 10:23

He should offer help, instead of criticizing without knowing.

BandofMothers · 13/05/2007 10:24

Am in a bad mood and perhaps shouldn't post for a while.

Sorry again 2 shoes

Boco · 13/05/2007 10:31

Of course not. But it still wouldn't be unreasonable even if you didn't have a valid medical reason beyond your control, if it was just a choice because you wanted to be at home with your children.

I've never been on a wohm / sahm argument because i think you just do what suits you and your family and there's no right way. For me and my family being a sahm suits us, i love it, i don't want someone else doing the childcare because then i'd miss out on it.

kimi · 13/05/2007 10:32

2SHOES you rock, whoever has made you feel bad needs to walk a mile in your shoes (no pun intended).

Furrymummy · 13/05/2007 10:34

I work and will be wahm. But i would NEVER look down on a sohm. There is no right or wrong answer, it all comes down to personal choice and circumstances. So you are definately not being unreasonable 2shoes. Bandofmothers, rant away it's good to be able to let off steam here!

sweetkitty · 13/05/2007 10:35

bandofmothers - I agree with you completely

I'm fed up of people saying "oh you had a good career you must miss it so much" no I pushed paper around a desk mostly and stared at a pc, now I get to be with my children 24/7 when they need me the most, I teach them things and am just there for them, yes we are skint now but I wouldn't change it for the world.

foxybrown · 13/05/2007 10:37

You shouldn't have to justify being a SAHM/WOHM to anyone on here! People just argue about it for the sake of it. They don't care about anyone's reasons for the choices anyone else makes, just that they are right.

However we live our lives we are judged for it, by people who should know better that to judge other mothers.

Can't we just have a bit more appreciation for each other?

SNOWBall4girlz · 13/05/2007 10:42

btw I am a SAHM by choice well can not afford the childcare for 3 under 6 even if I wanted to go back to work but am happy to see them be with them while I can

I am lucky and appreciate that I am lucky that my dh has a job that keeps us all.

enjoy it because your dd needs you and you should not feel any sort of guilt imho x

Roskva · 13/05/2007 10:44

Good on you, 2shoes. I'm a SAHM too, by choice, and proud of it. It was really weird at first, because I have always worked, but why would I entrust the most important little being in my life to someone else?

SNOWBall4girlz · 13/05/2007 10:44

I had a good job that I worked hard to get and I do hope to go back to a similar position when mine are all full time at school but not before

Judy1234 · 13/05/2007 10:44

Not at all. In fact more stay at home mothers think they are doing the right thing and working mothers are damaging their children than the other way round in my experience.

Lots of mothers with disabled children do work and have nannies experienced with those conditions and children then go to school anyway but no reason you shouldn't be home at all if you and your husband are happy with that and it is what is best for you all. It is harder to find a nanny for a disabled child and unreasonable for most young live in au pairs to do after school care where the child needs very special care that most 20 year olds are not experienced enough to handle.

saralou100 · 13/05/2007 10:55

foxybrown, good post... thats exatly how i feel about it... why do we all have to justify our lives??????

pudding77 · 13/05/2007 10:59

Agree with all the other posts here, at the end of the day it comes down to what feels right for you.

I love being at home with my ds but it really didn't suit a friend of mine, she was a lot happier when she went back to work.

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