To think that growing a baby IS a big deal?

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I was talking to my friend earlier who has got a 6 month old and we were talking about the difficulties of pregnancy/birth and the toll it can take on our bodies etc and she made a comment about how she wished it was something men could do instead so we wouldn’t have to deal with it all.

I laughed it off but she said she was being serious and asked why I wouldn’t want the same? I told her that although pregnancy can be crap it’s still an amazing thing that is sacred to women and that growing and nourishing a baby is pretty special and I liked that fact that it’s something men can’t do in what is already a “mans world”.

She sort of shrugged at me and said that it’s “just growing a baby” and that it’s “really no big deal who does it”.

AIBU to think that actually it is a big deal??!!

Of course it's a big deal, it's fucking amazing that our bodies can do all of that magical stuff and make a human. Like the tiny yolk sac that feeds the placenta before it forms- that is mad shit!

But some people are just more blasé about stuff than others and that's fine.

Well it is a big deal which is why it would be nice to have someone else do.it (I.e the father)

Wow are a couple of people really making digs at NHS funded IVF? Geez I knew this thread had gone to shit starting with page 2 😏 this just confirms it.

It’s a big deal it can also be an ordeal.
I’d happily have let my husband do the baby growing.

Why not disagree with NHS funded ivf? There's no shortage of babies is there? I have the right to disagree with it FFS.

Maternity leave is 9-12m so the mother can fully recover too. Your brain doesnt even go back to it's original size for 2 years.

It's why I don't agree with 'shared' parental leave coming out of the mothers entitlement. The blokes should get their own along side it as the mothers is supposed to be to aid recovery too. Not that anyone fucking remembers that.

You do indeed have that right, Crowd.

And others in turn have the right to think that view makes you sound callous and deeply unpleasant.

You know Crowd that it's perfectly possibke to disagree with NHS funding without being rude to somebody who may have bern in receipt of it.

Of course it's also entirely your perogative to recognise this and choose to be rude anyway.

Am currently 37 weeks pregnant and loving every minute. Am one of the fortunate few who conceived easily and have had hardly any unpleasant symptoms. It is my first and I am finding the whole thing quite fascinating and wonderful.

However I completely agree with PP’s in that it is only really a big deal to me and my DP. On a wider scale it is not really remarkable at all. I am a mammal who had sex, was impregnated and my body has worked a designed to produce offspring. Exciting and meaningful for me personally but no more sacred an experience than that of a rat or a dog or a donkey.

We are living in a man's world largely down to the fact that women grow the babies- our biology is historically the source of our oppression. So yes, I wish men could take a turn. No, it's really not sacred.

I absolutely loved my two boys and know how very lucky I am to have them (one born at 27 weeks and very poorly, and currently cradling my 6 month old after 4 years of secondary infertility). I agree that pregnancy is a big deal as it created this marvellous little creatures. DH and I always said we would like 3 children if possible but I hated every second of being pregnant (both times) and am still doing physio to try and recover from my last pregnancy. I am 4 stone overweight now and can barely work due to lingering PGP. I was very fit before getting pregnant and not being able to exercise is affecting my mental health. The only way I would ever agree to another child now is if DH could miraculously carry the pregnancy.

I am guessing "sacred" is from the same school of though that childbirth should be a transcendental experience and midwives should act as spirit animals.

I think I would say it is both ordinary AND extraordinary.
On the one hand female mammalian bodies are designed over millions of years to do exactly this - thousands of million births every day? (all mammals not just Humans)

On the other hand the process itself is absolutely extraordinary - in terms of awe and wonderment, life from life etc, on an individual basis.

I do think that males of whatever species do not have the same relationship to their offspring as the female does though. I think the process of gestation and birth itself creates a bond that males cannot participate in. In that respect the sexes are truly "other"

Fuck off Crowd how dare you.
Where did I say I had NHS funded IVF, not that it’s any of your business?
Nothing wrong with claiming benefits if you need to. I don’t because I went back to work after having my children and I earn enough to support my family.

I fantasised about being pregnant for years, but after 3 kids I feel very differently and I’d happily let my husband carry the baby instead! I know (and I apologise) that it will sound ungrateful to people with fertility issues, but in an ideal world I’d palm the job of pregnancy off to someone else. I had a sibling born as an adult, who I’ve loved/bonded with just as much my own children, so I don’t feel that someone else carrying my child would make it any less a “big deal”.

Crowd, you're entitled to your opinion. It wouldn't be kind to draw up a catalogue of conditions or illnesses which you deem to be a waste of NHS funds, but I am intrigued as to how you categorise.

Just know that infertility has made me suicidal at times.

Do you have children?

Crowd. Reported you for being a GF and picking a fight. Good night.

THAT is your basis for argument?

And for the record - it is incredibly difficult to qualify for NHS funded IVF.

Secondly, infertility is a disease, there are a multitude of reasons why an inability to conceive occurs. Often, the causes are related to a wider problem. One of my reasons is severe PCOS which has resulted in diabetes (I have a faultless diet and am a size 10). I don't want to reveal the details but another reason is due to a gynaecological issue which, left untreated, could cause associated cancers. So actually fertility treatment is a little more complex than you probably think!

Also, for what it's worth, the large majority of women are treated with far less costly methods (such as ovulation inducers) which means that IVF is the last resort is that it bloody well should be. You don't just turn up at hospital and request IVF.

It's not a disease at all. The ability to not reproduce is not life limiting.i also have Pcos, wasn't trying for a kid but wondered where the weight gain came from. Been super healthy since.

I also fully understand you can't just rock up and request IVF. I still resent it being available on the NHS though.

"Super" "rock up" - you're annoying. Bye!

I would swap if I was asked....if DH could have carried the children, yes...I'd have chosen that.

My body's been battered by two complex pregnancies and it annoys me that men get to keep their bodies the same.