To think that growing a baby IS a big deal?

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I was talking to my friend earlier who has got a 6 month old and we were talking about the difficulties of pregnancy/birth and the toll it can take on our bodies etc and she made a comment about how she wished it was something men could do instead so we wouldn’t have to deal with it all.

I laughed it off but she said she was being serious and asked why I wouldn’t want the same? I told her that although pregnancy can be crap it’s still an amazing thing that is sacred to women and that growing and nourishing a baby is pretty special and I liked that fact that it’s something men can’t do in what is already a “mans world”.

She sort of shrugged at me and said that it’s “just growing a baby” and that it’s “really no big deal who does it”.

AIBU to think that actually it is a big deal??!!

Nah cantspell pregnancy is way more special than having a Pooh.

Pregnancy is being likened to the process of having a poo in terms of functions our body can do?

Seriously??

I love both my DC with all my heart and would do anything for them.... but hated being pregnant. I would have happily let someone else do it for me. To be fair I would have happily just picked them up after 9 months from a vending machine! However oddly I don't use babysitters or even leave them overnight anywhere. And one is almost 10! So no idea how those 2 mesh and what it says about me

Yes it is as they are both biological functions.
The main difference being you won’t die if your reproductive system doesn’t work but you could if your waste management system for any reason fails.

@queen I think people are pointing out that it's simply a biological function. Some people (me) really did not like being pregnant and struggle the idea if it being 'sacred' I'd happily outsource it!

@Cantspell2 Stop goading. Having a poo is in no way comparable to carrying and birthing a child.

It's a bit like saying because I can swim means I could theoretically swim from Dover to America.

The main difference being you won’t die if your reproductive system doesn’t work

Many women and children have died during child birth. You are being deliberately obtuse.

cant you can have a colostomy bag if your digestive system fails . You can’t grow a baby out if your body.

Your body doesn’t make pooh with a complex nervous system or respiratory system, doesn’t grow a pooh with eyes and a million taste buds on its tongue.

Yes poohing is important but it’s just no where near the same level as pregnancy

You can die from lots of things failing in your body. How strange you compare pregnancy to shitting. Sounds like you have s few issues!

It is a big deal and it's incredible what our bodies can do. Growing an entire human from a collection of cells is pretty amazed by.

However, it's also tiring, painful, loooong and generally difficult so I wouldn't mind my DH having a turn (am 12 weeks pregnant now so just getting past the feeling horrendous stage).

Growing a baby is one thing but, as glumglowworm pointed out, the real skill is raising it. And hopefully that is joint.

I loved it enough to do it twice but not enough to do it again. If my husband could carry the baby, I’d probably have more. I’m with your friend

It truly felt like an alien parasite had nested inside me.

DH properly took the hump when I jokingly referred to one of my pregnancies as "the parasite" during a mini-rant about how crap I felt. I pointed out to him that an organism that lives inside it's host and is entirely reliant upon it for comfort and nutrition at the expense of the hosts own comfort and nutrition is a parasite

*The main difference being you won’t die if your reproductive system doesn’t work

Many women and children have died during child birth. You are being deliberately obtuse.*

Didn’t Cantspell mean you won’t die if you can’t/don’t grow a baby?

It is an amazing thing but so is how the body heals a fracture, but people tend not to say “I grew my bone back together”.

Sometimes when i was first pregnant I was really awed by the innate intelligence of my body, growing a whole new organ to support the pregnancy, then turning out a small perfect being.
With subsequent pregnancies I was more , well exhausted.

I’d gladly share the burden of pregnancy with my DP. If we could halve it that would be great. He could take the first trimester and the last few weeks .

I found it properly fascinating and am so greatful I got to do it. Once was enough though. If dh could do it too maybe we’d have had two children? Who knows. We’re perfdctly happy with one right now.

It is amazing when you think about it, that one drop of salty spunk delivered at the right time can turn into an actual baby, right down to teeny tiny toenails. And whilst it's all happening at the beginning, we have absolutely no idea it's going on.

And that the human body can also make milk (not that we have to use it!). And science from the human brain has also come up with things like fertility treatments; c sections; scans; formula...

But bloody hell I'd happily have outsourced the last 3 months of sore hips and constant pissing and hospital checks and the ultimate c sections to DP! Along with half the night time feedings... why can't fathers lactate??!

Like anne () my experiences have made it hard for me not to see a wanted pregnancy as a huge privilege, and basically a miracle - I'm 27 weeks and I wake up every morning feeling so grateful that this one seems to be sticking. However, I know I've had a mostly easy pregnancy (so far!), and that for a lot of other women it's a really difficult time physically, and that for others it's their worst nightmare. I do think that it's always a big deal, though.

I also don't get the 'it's not a big deal because lots of people do it' argument. By that logic, nothing happens to most of us for our entire life. Very few people do anything truly extraordinary, like go into space, or win a Nobel prize, or negotiate a armistice. For most of us the really big stuff is things like weddings, or babies, or getting a big promotion - things that happen to millions of people every day, but which are a big deal because they happen to us personally only a handful of times in a lifetime.

I hated being pregnant. But I still think it's amazing. Growing a person may be 'just a bodily function' that doesn't mean it isn't something wonderful.

As I said, I hated being pregnant, but I still wouldn't have wanted anyone else to carry my babies. I made them. And i feel so lucky to have created two humans. Women are fucking amazing.

I find it weird, tbh, that so many women think what our bodies can do is nothing special.

Loads of things our bodies can do including growing babies are wonderful and amazing but we can’t really take personal credit for them can we?

If someone told me that "growing a baby" was "sacred" my palm would itch to slap them

I am 7 months preg with HG and SPD and counting the days til this prison sentence is over.

I think that growing a baby seems a massive deal to the person growing it, but it is something women all over the world do every day. Biologically, it's incredible.

I have to say that I think finding it amazing and sacred is the preserve of women who have relatively easy pregnancies. I could happily have outsourced the hyperemesis, acid reflux, constipation, piles, leaking bladder and back pain. Not to mention the agony of birth, the crippling PND that meant I couldn't eat or sleep, the stitches, the ruined body post-birth and the sleeplessness and exhaustion. I could cheerfully have picked DD up at about 3 months old I think. I love her to pieces but I can't say I loved being pregnant.

It is a big deal but personally I've found it fucking horrendous. Would gladly share this "sacred" honour with men tbh! It'd go some way to evening out sex discrimination too.

I think it's a big deal and a great privilege. Despite minor health problems, tiredness etc I enjoyed both my pregnancies and considered it a special time. I was lucky to have good family support, felt looked after by nhs, and no complications. I don't expect others to think my pregnancy was amazing but I genuinely felt it was!

Has anyone read "children of men"... Yeah just because "x-million born every year " most people take pregnant women for granted but if we all stopped... Yeah they'd see it as sacred then!!!!
With OP on this one- pregnancy, whilst unbelievable in its physical 'challenge' is sacred. (I've done it four times - so I know how 'challenging' it can be BTW.)