Petty random things that make you want to lose your shit

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Colleague buys 2 bananas every Monday. Has done so ever since I've worked there (1+ year). They sit on her desk until they go bad and then get thrown away on a Friday. EVERY week. I've never seen her eat one of the damn things yet come Monday another 2 take up residence on her desk.

Otherwise she's a lovely woman and a great pal. But those bananas... just looking at them makes me ragey.

Anyone else have totally petty, pointless things that you should ignore but instead feeds the inner rage demon?

Who eats a cashew nut by biting into it? You just pop it in whole. Idiot. The biting into a cashew nut face whilst performing oral sex is unspeakable. The rest of us just have to deal with minor irritations. Men whistling full volume on the bus. Husband taking one sock off so foot can be picked (sat on sofa next to wife), then leaving the lonely sock there to be dealt with by the house elf (the wife). Kids kicking off shoes so they land near the shoe rack. But I now know things could be so much worse.

Omg yes to standing on the back of flip flops!!!
My dd does this all the time and makes me soooooo irrationally mad

Hair on my skin, like a hair from my head on my arm or my face urgh disgusting

People who stop immediately they go through a door or get off an escalator. Are they completely oblivious to the existence of people behind them?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 at the Henry owner

Fucking Hetty gets stuck on everything and it drives me mad!!!! I am forever shouting 'howay man Hetty ffs'

One day I'll rip that bitches hose right off

My DD's friend says "d'you know" ALL THE TIME. It drives me insane with rage.

Adults using words that are normally reserved for teenagers. My sister is terrible for this. Particularly 'whatevs'. It's bad enough that an adult thinks "whatever" is a valid contribution to a discussion that isn't going their way, but shortening it to "whatevs" is an extra layer of cringe.

The duvet thing mentioned my many other posters also drives me insane.

People my husband who can't stack the dishwasher efficiently

People who leave the paper thingy on top of the margarine after they open it

People who stand on travelators at airports. It is not a frigging ride!!

People who block supermarket aisles lollygagging with their trolleys all over the show

I am clearly v irritable, this is just the tip of the iceberg...

At work: "Can I borrow you for a second"?

No, you cannot borrow me. If you want me to come to your desk, then tell me. If you want to ask me a question, then ask. But stop asking to borrow me.

On AIBU: When people ask stupid things like "AIBU to like ham"? I always want to reply and say yes, massively unreasonable, who likes ham these days . In a similar vein when people say "Am I the only one who thinks" and then says something that the majority agrees with. Like "Am I the only one who thinks Donald Trump is an idiot"? I act shocked and say "Yes, you are literally the first person I have ever known to think that"

@dayinlifeof
Modern art sculptures piled high in the kitchen sink rather than neatly on the side.

Hah. People can't win. I hate modern art crockery sculptures piling up on the work surface when they should be in the sink. Well, they should be in the dishwasher but if people really find it too arduous to walk three steps to the dishwasher, open it and put a plate or cup in, the very least they can do is stack them in the sink which is designed to hold dirty dishes, and not clutter up my clean work surface.

Right, I'm off to get a life.

People who suck and lick their fingers while eating. I have a friend who does it seemingly with every bite and it's so nauseating I dread meals with her because I'll have to sit and witness her fingers finding their way into her mouth a hundred times across the course of the evening.

She's thirty.

Oh agreed on the hiccups - normal hiccups don’t bother me too much but drunk hiccups drive me insane, especially if the sufferer tries to carry on some heartfelt drunken monologue about how we will be friends forever, all interspersed with fucking hiccups

Many, many things ... but mostly people noises. Sniffing, phlegmy throat clearing (vom!), cracking knuckles, all make me feel stabby. Especially eating noises, chewing gum, slurping, scraping cutlery on plates - even if it's on TV I have to turn the sound off. I think we should all eat in private.

Over friendly shop assistants.

I think Fat Face stores must have just had 'customer relations course '

I nearly ran out of the shop

My neighbours must think DP is called Henry and we’re on the verge of splitting up. He is absolutely infuriating!

PIL and bowls. Only people I know who can make scraping noises with bowls FULL of soup, cereal, whatever. DP has inherited ostentatious cutlery noise and will pointlessly stir whatever he’s cooking and then loudly tap the spoon against the pan so many times I just want to put the thing out of its misery.

Also people who think they're the only one in the sodding universe ... so dither about in shop doorways, take forever deciding which bag to put each item in at the supermarket checkout, don't bother looking in any direction when driving up to a roundabout - because they're so special and have magic powers ... find myself wishing to see them wrapped round a lamppost further down the road.

My DS simply cannot shut a door properly - it's either left open to let the draft (and the dog) in or slammed shut so hard I think the glass is going to shatter!
DP takes his socks off and they some how end up in completely different rooms so when I'm wanting to do the washing I have to hunt all over the house for one bloody sock! (I hate odd socks and will not wash unless they are in pairs) Also him wondering where his work clothes are in the morning because they too get stripped off in different areas of the house.
Having a conversation with one SS and the other SS in sat next to us, decides to chirp up and join in the conversation with either something SS1 has already said or join in 10 minutes after that conversation is finished! Winds me right up, just bloody listen if you wanna get involved!

People who start unloading their shopping onto the conveyor belt whilst I'm still unloading mine, leaving me with less room than I need and having to pile my items up.

DH leaving the recycling on the windowsill, rather than in the recycling bin.

The bottom of the duvet being untucked during the night, giving me cold feet.

DH's snoring.

Either DH or one of the DC needing a poo at the exact moment we have to leave for anything, then taking a month of Sundays about it, meaning we're always bloody late. Similarly, DS (3) needing the loo just as I'm about to dish up dinner.

I have so many things that irritate me, I'm convinced that one day I'll end up snapping and going on some kind of rampage.

Top ones:

Eating. People slurping, taking a massive breath as they shovel food into their mouth, hitting their teeth with spoons because they're basically eating the whole fucking spoon... the list goes on. A special place in Hell is reserved for those who scrape-scrape-scrape yoghurt pots when they've just started it* and continue all the way through.

*Flip-flop scuffers. People who don't use their foot to pick up the flip-flop and instead just scuff their way round the floor. I came so close to pushing a repeat offender into the pool on my last holiday. A notable mention also to those people who think being on holiday is an excuse to dress inappropriately - I live in a beach location and every summer have to contend with topless men, nearly naked women and bare-footed children appearing in Sainsburys. Yes, because who doesn't love doing a whole day at work and then having to stare at a sweaty, spotty, sunburnt back in the checkout queue.

people not picking up their dog crap is the worst.

i coach kids football, and must have to scrape up 4 or 5 piles of crap up every saturday morning. if it was round the edge, it wouldn't be quite so bad, but so often it's just right in the middle of clearly marked pitches.

just so unbelievably inconsiderate.

DW gets the absolute rage about too many coats on the hooks in the hall, or about the kids leaving new loo rolls sat on top of the loo roll holders.

but then she ALWAYS starts new bottles of ketchup or squash when there's a bit left in the bottom of the last one, without throwing the old one away.

and she leaves the foil bit on top of the lurpak.

and sleeps starfish-style in our king-size bed, with me teetering on one edge

The phrase ‘make you a plate’. At any buffet type gathering I’ll likely have my hands full - feeding the baby and wrangling the toddler. When someone kindly offers to get me some food I Inwardly scream at ‘can I make you a plate?’ Yeah, just whip out the wheel and kiln, love.

ginghamstarfish urgh yes. Also those who take forever at the checkout carefully placing every pound coin or note into the cashier's hand, and then hold everyone up putting their change into separate compartments of their purse (which always has one of those jingly cat bells on, making them sound like Rudolph with his sleigh) instead of just moving out of the way so the next person can be served and they can then take as long as they like to sort their purse out a metre away! It's pure obliviousness.

lol at 'make you a plate'. How would they know which bits you want to eat from the buffet anyway?

Op have you not asked about the banannas ? My Dd gets out of bed and sits on the sofa and reclines she is just up why the feck is she reclining it gives me the rage

Exactly @LimonViola I’m much happier to let DP eat his, while I feed the baby, then hand him a happy baby so I can eat with both hands free. It’s rare that I get to eat a meal without holding a baby so I’d really rather wait and not have someone shouting questions about how much potato salad I want. I fully acknowledge that they’re just being thoughtful and I’m an ungrateful cow, though.

My DD's entitled, bitchy friends.

Other rage-inducing helpfulness includes drivers who wave you across the road and continue inching forward as you cross in front of them WHEN THERE IS NO-ONE BEHIND THEM. If they’d have just gone like the Highway Code says they should, I could cross an empty road FFS. If there’s a great queue of traffic I’d be grateful but if it’s a couple of cars then why why why if they still need to crawl forward menacingly?!

@Sproutpie I don't know why it has tickled me so much but I had to go in the stationery cupboard to do a cry-laugh after I read HA, in your face Packham