Choosing to be single for life

[Singlelife]

Just that really, anyone? I'm early 30s with DCs. Love my life, love coming home from work, put my DC to bed, have a nice soak and then read, watch TV do whatever I want. Love not having to compromise anything, or take anyone's feelings into consideration except for my DCs. Left ex some years ago and decided to focus on myself and the DCs.

The thing is, I'm a Muslim and being involved with another man again means I have to get married. There's no one night stands, friends with benefits, dating. Nope, nada. Just straight up marriage. That's the only downside really, I do miss intimacy and affection.

So has anyone chosen to be single? And how long have you been single?

I have a partner but we dont live together and i honestly dont think i want to share my home with another man...i would be expected to cook 'proper' meals every night and i cant be arsed...i like seeing him but am always pleased to get my house back to myself....some of it is financial too...I have control over my bills...food shopping etc and am quite frugal....i know if he moved in we would get sky tv and he would waste money on a load of old shit....far better to keep our finances completely seperate.

I feel the same as Empress to be honest SpringNow, it's one thing being completely neutral and keeping your options open and it's another thing knowing in your heart of hearts you will never be able to live with someone else again. You never know what the future holds, but still. I know for a fact I could never live with another man again, the thought of him sitting on the sofa on his phone with his feet up, and the dirty socks on the floor and Sky sports in the bagground just fills me with horror as another pp said. Theres like 0,1% that will happen

Honestly you only have one life, live it to the fullest with no regrets

Do what makes you happy.

I'd like to believe in that whole Hollywood happy ever after crap but sadly I don't think it's true. I've never met a man I'd happily live with and now I've lived alone for 6 years I'm really not sure I could live with anyone again. My husband leaving was a blessing in so many ways.

I think if you have alot of close friends and family around you in your life, then being single is not such a bad thing

I guess I'm surprised at that remaining % some people have, I thought a thread like this would get more "100% no" responses.

OP "Honestly you only have one life, live it to the fullest with no regrets"

Not sure if you mean me, but I am doing just that. I still find people say - usually with a panicked expression "BUT DON'T RULE IT OUT" and I wonder why they say that to me.

Also, studies have shown over and over again that being single is better and more enjoyable for women, while being in a couple-relationship is better and more enjoyable men (predominantly because a man in a relationship gains a servant, pretty much, whereas the woman becomes a servant)

This is total horseshit and the fact that you feel the need to say it suggests that you aren't quite as happy never having had a serious relationship as you claim to be.

oh I've seen a lot of those studies

my boyfriends were lovely. I'm just not someone who enjoys relationships.

I'm late 20s with DS and really enjoy the single life. Although I'm not saying never again to a relationship I certainly don't want one until DS is independent and has left home - the idea of a stepfamily scenario just leaves me cold. I don't want any more DC and I don't want to get married again (I'm divorced).

Part of the reason that I don't want a relationship though is that I genuinely don't do well as part of a couple. I'm extremely independent to the point where someone sending me a few text messages a day makes me feel smothered - I realise that these are my own issues but that's just the way I am. I just enjoy making every decision myself, from what I have for dinner to where to go on holiday. I also struggle with intimacy (mentally not physically).

I have a FWB though as I don't really want to live without sex forever and it has worked well for us the last few years. He gives me the space I need and I only see him about once a month when my DS is with his dad.

I feel very content with life as it is. I am much more comfortable with myself now than I was in any relationship I've been in.

Yes single women are better off than women in a relationship, but men in a relationship are better in the 'happy' stakes than single women.

Perhaps this thread, which is overwhelmingly in favour of a single lifestyle for a woman shows the studies might be slightly out of date.

like your thinking Slievenamon

Why be Muslim or follow any religion that dictates what you can and cannot do sexually?

I am glad that I'm a lesbian. I wouldn't like to be married to a man

I've been single for 20+ years and I love it. No interest in getting with anyone either.

This is total horseshit

says who? This is many womens experience, sadly

It's not the majorities and most of us take exception to being told we are servants of men

The research shows that the happiest women are those:

1. Who choose to be single
2. Who are in happy relationships
3. Who do not want to be single
4. Who are in unhappy relationships

I'm so sorry SpringNow I think I've misunderstood you. I thought you were saying that one should never say never in terms of having a relationship in the future? Hence why I said there's very little chance I would change my mind about having a relationship in the future.

Good for you joystir.

To be honest I also think it depends highly on the person, if you're someone who doesn't like your own company and like to be around people all the time, you're not gonna cope being single. If you are a introvert like me, who love your own company, love doing your own thing then being single does wonders to your soul. I know people who end one relationship and jump into another within months, one even got married within 6 months of ending another relationship. And I'm like what are you afraid of?

The research shows that the happiest women are those

What "research" would that be then, and when did you read it in the Daily Mail?

You can't just claim "research says".

OP - no, I'm saying people have repeatedly told me "never say never" and I don't understand why they say that, why they find it so hard to accept someone saying "I will always being single".

I'm childfree and when I was dating the same oddballs used to think it was "unfair" that I wouldn't date a man with children though, so perhaps they are all a bit crazy.

Google it, it is pretty reputable research

Some people have this fear of being alone, so they have to have someone in their lives. I mean, god forbid you should learn 1 or 2 things about yourself and explore the world. It's sad really, true happiness is found within yourself. Don't look for it in someone else

I am always attacked when I say that reputable research shows the happiest women are those who choose to be alone. Even when I link the research. I think it is because it goes against what we are told by our culture is the way to find happiness.

Just out of curiosity, is the sun shining where you are? Gorgeous weather here in London 😆

Google it, it is pretty reputable research

What is? And there must be many many studies if you are so sure, so could you name some of them please? Or tell us all which journal to look in at least?

I am always attacked when I say that reputable research shows the happiest women are those who choose to be alone

Because you can't show us that reseacrh, I expect.