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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the bride's been cheeky here!

488 replies

whywhywhywhywhyyy · 15/04/2018 15:51

Alright, so there's a girl I met at uni who's now getting married. We're not close at all, but she's been very kind and invited me to her wedding. Evening only.

As the wedding is hours away, there's only one hotel close by with ridiculous rates, and I'd only be invited from 8:30pm anyway, I'm planning on not going. I went to go and click the 'sorry, can't make it' option on her RSPV website when I saw the ride share list on there.

I've been put down to drive (what appears to be) one of her elderly relatives from my hometown. Never offered this, have never met the elderly relative in question, haven't really spoken to the bride about the wedding at all Confused Messaged another friend who's been invited to evening early and is down on the list to rideshare with someone elderly, same thing with her!

I've never declined an invitation so fast. Not sure if I've been invited as a friend or because I've got a car and happen to be from the same place as her relative!

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 22/04/2018 19:57

Brilliant response OP. Awaiting her answer....

fc301 · 22/04/2018 20:04

Weezol shame ... I would have bought a cat for that!

fc301 · 22/04/2018 20:04

Weezol shame ... I would have bought a cat for that!

Mycatsarebetterthanyours · 22/04/2018 20:08

She wins the cfb award.

Can't wait to hear what cfb herself replies or the others in the group chat!!!

BewareOfDragons · 22/04/2018 20:52

Please tell me the others could see your response, too.

DobbyLovesSocks · 22/04/2018 21:13

This thread is exactly why I LOVE Mumsnet

HatingTheBigShow · 22/04/2018 21:28

My sister is getting married soon and this definitely isn't her, thank god. She does have some CF guests who have asked her to get an evening babysitter so that someone can watch their kids while they get drunk. It's a big venue, lots of rooms, so I said surely the little ones can bunk down together and parents can take turns with watching them but that won't possibly do.... She's far nicer than I am and hasn't told them where to go. Sorry for derailing, as you were. I can't wait to hear CFB's response.

DartmoorDoughnut · 22/04/2018 22:01

Has she gone quiet on you?

CosmicSpider · 22/04/2018 22:02

Fantastic example of cheeky fuckery. You have to ask yourself, is the groom as deluded as she? My DH would have given me a quick reality check if I had been doing this during our wedding planning.

tumpymummy · 22/04/2018 23:36

Great response OP. Totally placemarking!

tumpymummy · 22/04/2018 23:38

Great response OP. Totally placemarking!

BMW6 · 23/04/2018 09:22

Crikey I would love to get an update from OP

Branleuse · 23/04/2018 09:42

why on earth do so many people expect others to be out of pocket and inconvenienced so much to celebrate their bloody relationship.

QueenDaisy · 23/04/2018 09:50

Surely if she’d have loved to have you there, you’d have been invited to all of it, not just the evening reception 😏

expatinscotland · 23/04/2018 13:13

'why on earth do so many people expect others to be out of pocket and inconvenienced so much to celebrate their bloody relationship.'

They're usually the ones who go round saying, 'All the guests told us ours was the best wedding ever.'

Raffles1981 · 23/04/2018 14:37

Shamelessly placemarking. I cannot believe the cheek of her. This has kept me entertained whilst rocking a teething baby to sleep Grin

GrapesAreMyJam · 23/04/2018 16:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

HelloBrass · 23/04/2018 16:09

Can't wait for an update!

user1494667160 · 23/04/2018 16:53

I don’t think asking the bride to arrange an evening babysitter is cheeky.
You say parents can just take turns and pop in and check on them but that doesn’t work - look at the macann’s!
It’s better to have a professional babysitter for the evening if parents are going to be drinking.

Weezol · 23/04/2018 17:19

It's even better if parents take responsibility for their kids and either leave them at home with a relative or babysitter or decline the invitation if they are unable to do that.

When did it become the responsibility of the bride to sort out everyone else's childcare?

milliemolliemou · 23/04/2018 17:32

Can't work out if elderly relative the OP was down to chauffeur was also only going to the evening do (unlikely?) If not, OP would have driven ER to the church and then had to hang around for the evening do - but not before she'd chauffeured ER to her hotel/b+b ... presumably she couldn't have been expected to chauffeur ER to her hotel/b+b after the evening meal? could she?

@user Yes, it is cheeky to ask the bride to organise childcare. I know brides who have organised nannies/separate room/early supper esp at late/rural weddings but they have announced it on the invitation and it's rare because it's an expensive option. The most you can do is ask the bride or Chief Bridesmaid if you can be in touch with other people to see if you can share childcare if you're happy to do so. Or phone the hotel you might be staying at to see if they have reliable CMs.

GreenTulips · 23/04/2018 18:09

I don’t think asking the bride to arrange an evening babysitter is cheeky

Will remember to do this for the next wedding I'm invited too! Wouldn't want to be rude by not asking.

Spam88 · 23/04/2018 18:34

As if asking the bride to arrange a sitter isn't cheeky. When would you ever respond to any invitation with 'I'd love to come! If you could just arrange and pay for my childcare that would be fab!'

Spam88 · 23/04/2018 18:34

As if asking the bride to arrange a sitter isn't cheeky. When would you ever respond to any invitation with 'I'd love to come! If you could just arrange and pay for my childcare that would be fab!'

MrsKoala · 23/04/2018 19:12

It’s better to have a professional babysitter for the evening if parents are going to be drinking

I agree, but it’s not the responsibility of the bride to organise it is it?

I once invited some friends to Madrid with me. I was going to see an exhibition for a birthday treat and just said if anyone wanted to join me they were welcome. One friend said she couldn’t afford it. Then called back to say she could afford it if it was Ibiza at double the cost. She kept calling and trying to emotionally blackmail me to change it even tho I would lose my deposit and I didn’t want to go to bloody Ibiza. When she got nowhere with me she called the others who were coming and tried to convince them to say to me they were all dropping out unless I changed it to Ibiza! It was hilarious.