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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the bride's been cheeky here!

488 replies

whywhywhywhywhyyy · 15/04/2018 15:51

Alright, so there's a girl I met at uni who's now getting married. We're not close at all, but she's been very kind and invited me to her wedding. Evening only.

As the wedding is hours away, there's only one hotel close by with ridiculous rates, and I'd only be invited from 8:30pm anyway, I'm planning on not going. I went to go and click the 'sorry, can't make it' option on her RSPV website when I saw the ride share list on there.

I've been put down to drive (what appears to be) one of her elderly relatives from my hometown. Never offered this, have never met the elderly relative in question, haven't really spoken to the bride about the wedding at all Confused Messaged another friend who's been invited to evening early and is down on the list to rideshare with someone elderly, same thing with her!

I've never declined an invitation so fast. Not sure if I've been invited as a friend or because I've got a car and happen to be from the same place as her relative!

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 22/04/2018 16:47

I would just tell her you have other plans so you aren't able to attend. But, for the record, she was out of line signing you up as a taxi service without consulting you first. Especially since you'd only been invited for the evening portion from such a distance.

honeyroar · 22/04/2018 16:55

It doesn't sound like you're good friends or that she will remain friends with you after this, so I would tell her the truth- that you're not coming because you're insulted that she signed you up to be a free taxi without the manners to even ask.

Exhaustedpidgeon · 22/04/2018 16:57

Shameless place marking Blush

SickofThomasTheTank · 22/04/2018 17:10

Definitely in the MN CF Top 20

GrooovyLass · 22/04/2018 17:13

Oh my! I can't wait to read your answer op. Why do some people go so crazy when they're getting married?

Sonotcivil · 22/04/2018 17:17

Come on OP, what's your response.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/04/2018 17:17

I would just be straight with her, what have you got to loose, she has been spectacularly cheeky and rude. To pussyfoot around her, is to enable her. After all you are not really close, so just go for it. Just say, I declined your invitation to your wedding as it is too far to come for an evening reception, we have not seen each other in a while, add to that, I found that I was unofficially nominated to provide lifts without being consulted, which I find very rude and presumptious. Have a lovely day.

Tinlegs · 22/04/2018 17:19

Dear CFB,

I don't want to pussyfoot around. I would have cat shared but car sharing is über cheeky. Love xxx

Charlie97 · 22/04/2018 17:22

Completely cheeky!

But the taking from church to cemetery to tea after don't think that's cheeky at all.

Lots of my mums elderly church friends lived by the church but couldn't get to cemetery. I had no qualms asking people for lifts. In fact my love very cousin took her 103 year old friend home from the tea afterwards. Completely out of his way, but he said it's important that we stayed and it's something he could do to help.

People often say what can I do to help.

Lizzie48 · 22/04/2018 17:36

It's perfectly fine to ask for lifts, that's not the point. People are in general happy to give lifts if they're going somewhere anyway. It's the fact that the CF bride didn't ask, she just expected the OP to give her elderly relative a lift before she'd even replied to the invitation.

MrsHandles · 22/04/2018 17:37

What was your response, OP? A group message is just the height of CFery!

LegendOfTomorrow · 22/04/2018 17:45

I just reread and realised I missed a couple of updates. So CFB has already blown up at one of the free taxis friends? Then it's clear that she needs a polite but straightforward reply making mention of your annoyance at being expected to drive a total stranger there and back, being unable to drink and only being invited, from what is to me, very late in the evening already. You'd have to leave before midnight I would also assume unless the elderly relative is a bit of a party animal... either way, until great aunt Enid wants to leave, your stuck there. And if you are having a blast? "See ya! Aunt Enid wants to be off now.."

LegendOfTomorrow · 22/04/2018 17:46

**you're stuck there.

Original poster
whywhywhywhywhyyy · 22/04/2018 17:47

Sent her my reply (nobody else has replied, they've all seen it Grin)

"I know, such a shame. Unfortunately I've got a prior commitment on that day which I really can't cancel. Just wondering why I was put down as giving someone a lift? I wasn't asked about it by you or >groom< and yet I'm down on the list?'

Waiting for the shit to hit the fan now....

OP posts:
HumptyD93 · 22/04/2018 17:54

ooooh good reply

Totally not placemarking

Charlie97 · 22/04/2018 17:56

She'll surely realise now that she's out of order?

CatsCatsCats11 · 22/04/2018 17:57

Blatantly following for the reply Grin

HolyMountain · 22/04/2018 17:57

Grin I love this thread.

fc301 · 22/04/2018 18:00

Charlie97 they never do!

RebootYourEngine · 22/04/2018 18:00

Good on you for calling her out.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/04/2018 18:04

Good on you, how rude and cheeky of her op.

BuntyII · 22/04/2018 18:15

This is my evenings entertainment sorted Grin

SleepingStandingUp · 22/04/2018 18:15

Honest but pulling her up, def the way to go

BuntyII · 22/04/2018 18:16

This is my evenings entertainment sorted Grin

Brace yourself OP, she'll be in a CFB rage right now, storming around announcing that she doesn't need this stress just before her special day 😂

Weezol · 22/04/2018 18:26

This is so not over yet. I was going to cook tonight, but it's oven chips and scotch eggs in front of this thread for me! Have yet to persuade the cat to flick the kettle on. She totally could if she wanted to.