To say BF Mums shouldn't be getting fed if...

[daydrinker]

IF FF Mums aren't?

My local hospital always feeds the BF mums but leaves the FF ones. They have to sort themselves out.

I've been to the local hospital a good few times now with DS and always asked within an hour if I want food

If overnight stay, I'm fed 3 times a day with biscuits and tea in between. Formula feeding mums aren't offered anything.

AIBU to say this isn't fair?

My milk supply doesn't all of a sudden vanish if I'm hungry.

nopox because it's very hard to walk around with a newborn hanging off your nipple at first...and once they get older they become heavier so again, it's quite difficult.
BF babies can feed for up to an hour every 2-3 hours. Some stay latched on for comfort. Then if baby has reflux you have to hold them upright for 30 mins so again can't really go along to the shop with a baby who is potentially going to Vom and need to go straight back on the boob. Don't even get me started on cluster feeding...

So yes they may have legs but a FF mother can literally ask someone else to feed her baby and that frees her up for however long it may take.

There’s a responsibility to the baby that’s being fed to be fed adequately by the mother, not special treatment depending on how you feed.

I’m assuming you mean if the child is in hospital and not the mother.
The reason they offer food is because the BF mother is using her body, energy etc to produce that milk and therefor they need to know that the mother has had the opportunity to eat a decent meal.
I just find it ridiculous people even argue about this. It’s not a competition. Just common sense.

The reason they offer food is because the BF mother is using her body, energy etc to produce that milk and therefor they need to know that the mother has had the opportunity to eat a decent meal.
I just find it ridiculous people even argue about this. It’s not a competition. Just common sense.

This.

Mental note to say I "pump" next time I go to hospital

I was in hospital with a seriously ill baby, transferred to a different part of the country. Baby tube fed but with increasing "milk" feeds. I struggled to BF, and never produced enough milk (due to separation from baby when he was undergoing surgery).

I am eternally grateful to the staff who treated me as BF, and provided meals.

Believe me, the BF/FF debate is ridiculous. If you are waiting by your baby's bedside and not sure he will make it through, you are as capable or incapable as popping out for a sandwich whether you are BF or not.

To me, sounds like BF "policy" has gone overboard.

YABU if you think neither should be fed, YANBU if you're saying one rule should apply regardless.

Just to those who are saying you can't leave a baby to get lunch even if you are FF. Of course you can. Many mothers with more than one child and no one to help have to leave their baby at times in hospital.

I thought you meant on a maternity ward then I would say disgusting but if its when your child is admitted then fair dos! My children's hospital provides formula for ff babies but if a baby is admitted and they are breast fed then obviously they have a duty to feed the mum so she can make the babies food.

By the way I formula fed all mine, apart from the first days/weeks

When my eldest was nearly one she was rushed to hospital with a severe infection. My husband was away and no one else could get over to us for 24hrs. By the time my mum arrived I was a mess, I hadn’t been offered any food (of course I hadn’t left my daughters bedside as she was very ill), I had barely been to the bathroom and had slept in a chair with my face against the cot.
Without my mums help I would have been in an even bigger mess - honestly the nurses barely even spoke to me.
Ridiculous to offer full meals on an over stretched nhs but a bit of toast or the odd biscuit given with a bit of kindness to carers should be obvious on any ward.

You know, when you think of it, the NHS hasn’t moved into the 21st century in terms of providing facilities for parents of young children in hospital. And those who are sitting with dying relatives. This whole thread shouldn’t even be about the perceived unfairness of FF v BF feeding of parents. It is simply about the need to provide the correct facilities at the correct time in the correct place. Planning of hospitals needs to incorporate such basic things. It’s very short-sighted and no help to anyone to just shrug and say “the NHS doesn’t have enough money to feed parents of sick babies” and not think beyond that. No, it doesn’t have enough money but just provide the appropriate damned facilities that parents CAN access (and pay for) instead!

I can’t see any reason at all why food provision to parents has to be funded by the NHS, the NHS simply has to allow the sale of food on NHS premises such that it is easily available to parents if they are unable to leave their baby at all.

So, food outlets that are available during usual waking hours, and can deliver to the ward. An online or telephone ordering system would be easy enough to implement. In addition a vending machine with sandwiches etc should available in close proximity to each ward for those who have been blue lighted and have missed normal food delivery time because they have been sitting with their loved one

On chikdren’s Ward a parents kitchen with proper fridge, freezer, sink, microwave, toaster, plenty of cupboard space and free bread for toast, and also coffee. It sounds like some places already offer this. It should be standard across the UK and expected as minimum provision.

If there really are not enough NHS staff these days to watch over 2 or 3 children at a time while their parents have a 20 minute break then at the very least hospitals should be ensuring that they are providing facilities on the premises (to outside companies) to enable parents to fend for themselves. There is simply no argument against this, it is a basic human need to be able to feed yourself.

@BackBoiler the applies on a maternity ward for the SAME reason as when your child is admitted.

It is only about nutrition.
When my son was a newborn in hospital I could leave him for a short time to get a drink or have a quick wash. Now he is 11 and a/in danger when left alone or with the wrong support I couldn't do it.

The NHS has moved on loads. Parents used to only be able to visit their children during visiting hours, including babies. And siblings were not allowed at all.

It takes maybe 20 minutes to dash to the facilities in the hospital and buy food for the day. Won't be great food, but it will feed you.

Yanbu. It's ridiculous. I breast fed twins. Frequently ran out of food and managed to get off my arse and walk to the other end of town to buy food.

Special snowflake breast feeding mothers are incapable of walking to the canteen or hospital shop?I think not.

And many take aways close to hospitals will deliver to wards.

It's because not eating can effect your milk flow and lets face if your in a week or 2 how can feed your baby with just water or coffee into you. I've been in with my son and I wouldn't have left him even if it meant not eating for a week. When I was in when my 1 nearly 2 year old was ill and I also had my 10 month old, we were in for a couple of weeks. I was still breastfeeding both of them. I was fed and my eldest was fed 3 meals a day and I basically split what I was given in half for my youngest. I was greatful that I was given some food but even then I noticed I was finding it more difficult with my milk supply and had to work at boosting it back up when we came out.

I do get your point though because potentially those mums or dads may be on their, single parents etc, they may not want to leave their child even to eat and make themselves ill by doing so. So I understand where you coming from but the way you wrote it makes it sound like you were against feeding breast feeding mums. I think a few people also thought that

YABU if you think neither should be fed, YANBU if you're saying one rule should apply regardless

For goodness sake this has nothing to do with ‘debate’ about formula or breast milk! One rule does apply. The patient is fed. Nhs will provide formula to a readmitted baby if that is their main food source, so turn the argument round and say ‘why should they pay £££ for formula’ of course that would be unreasonable not too because that is the patients food. A b/f babies food is it’s mother, so by the same argument it would be unreasonable not to feed the mother. It’s not actually about convenience or special treatment for certain parents, baby is the priority. People are being ridiculous about this trying to make out it’s another way the nhs are trying to be militant about breastfeeding. I bet it costs a hell of a lot less to provide a few sarnies than it does to provide formula so cry’s of ‘it’s not fair’ are rather unfounded. It’s clear that a good idea would be to make food easier to buy on the ward for other parents of sick children (of all ages).

You have to wonder whether the relaxing of rules about visiting hours has happened because Staff want parents to be able to comfort their child, or to actually provide all non-medical care due to short staffing.

If a baby isn't the patient the mother shouldn't be getting free food. If any baby is a patient ff or bf those in receipt of free food should be the unfortunate parents of the illest babies. Those in for something mundane are more than capable of leaving said child to sort themselves out. If not rushed in they are also able to plan ahead. Parents of critically ill babies should get food however they are fed.

@bippityboppityboop The hospital where I stayed when I had my children provided formula, had a breakfast room where you could help yourself to cereal, toast, fruit and drinks and fed a main meal with dessert for lunch and dinner. Water and hot drinks and biscuits were provided at intervals too. This was in 2013 and still the same now as far as I know

Curlyhaired It initially happened because of campaigning from parents. My dad was in hospital as a baby for 3 months with his parents only able to visit him during set visiting hours.
But the NHS used it as an excuse to cut staff.

You still have to leave your baby to go to a breakfast room.

In an ideal world everyone would get fed. However I understand why bf mums get offered food. I bf my baby and if I go too long without eating I can get dizzy and shaky. As most times you are rushing to hospital you don’t think to pack snacks. I was certainly very grateful for the food I was given when my baby was in hospital.

Ideally all new mums should have meals in hospitals. I BF and had bigger appetite and short gaps between short BFs. But my DH was there during visiting hours and could go and get something for me. He wasn't there 9pm until the next morning at 9am and as we all know, there's no sleeping at night, so that's 12 long hours where I would struggle to get anything on my own. BUT not just because of BF, also because I had massively reduced mobility due to the birth. FF mum can also find it hard to get out due to birth and may not have a DP/DH either.

If the baby is in hospital and is BF the hospital are feeding the baby by feeding the mother. Seems fair to me.

It is difficult for the hospital. I have often seen visiting siblings given ice cream, jelly etc which is meant for patients only. Hospitals cannot be expected to feed the visiting family.

I also regularly visit a cemo ward with a patient. Everyone is told the food and drink is for those receiving treatment, but you do see visitors helping themselves.