To think you can't love anyone except your children 'unconditionally'?

[OutofSyncGirl]

I really think that people who believe you can find a partner you love unconditionally have an unrealistic and romanticised view of a relationship.

I think that everyone should certainly love their children unconditionally. But it's impossible to apply this concept to anyone else.

I love my pets unconditionally.

And DP. I think.

My love for my children would wane quickly if they were rapists/murderers.
I don't personally believe unconditional love exists for anyone.

Oh pets - yes I forgot about them.

I don't see how anyone could love their partner unconditionally because presumably there are some behaviours that most people could not forgive.

I’d still love my DP if he betrayed me but I wouldn’t stay with him despite still loving him. You can walk away from someone for their behaviour but still love them.
However I love my DD in a very different way to the love for DP, deeper and stronger from a biological level and there is nothing she could do that would make me walk away from her

I love my children unconditionally. Even if they were to become murderers/rapist. I would still love them unconditionally. I wouldn’t support them. I wouldn’t visit them. I certainly wouldn’t like them. But I’d never stop loving them.

If Oh did that, I would fall out of love with him eventually.

I agree, my children are loved utterly unconditionally.
My DH is loved with conditions (i.e. not being a total dick)

I don’t think I love anyone unconditionally. My kids could do stuff that would make me not be too keen on them.

I love other family member unconditionally not just children. My siblings for example and my parents.

I don't think unconditional love is appropriate in a romantic relationship, there should always be conditions to how people treat you. I would forgive my family anything though.

Your love should only be unconditional for your child (including Step etc). It could extend to a Parent, you don't have to be in contact to love them. That isn't really unconditional love, it's biology.

"I’d still love my DP if he betrayed me but I wouldn’t stay with him despite still loving him. You can walk away from someone for their behaviour but still love them."

The thing is that the love would die out, you can replace the love you felt for a Partner, who betrays you etc, you can't for a child.

Does love even exist or are we connecting with someone for survival/reproduction etc, at an animalistic level?

We are our brain, some brain conditions take away the need to 'pair bond' (as Amy BBT would say).

I'm not sure I even agree.

If my child grew up to be a paedophile I'm not sure I'd continue to love them. I'd love the child I gave birth to, but not the monster they grew into.

But you get parents sticking by their children who've committed the most horrific of crimes, so who knows.

Turnocks34 that sounds odd. How is love measured, if not by our actions? If you dislike a person, don't visit them and withdraw your support from that person, how would they know that you loved them? To all intents and purposes, you would appear not to love them.

I love my children and my siblings unconditionally. I love DH because he;s a lovely man, and I would/have put up with a lot because of that but the feeling isn't deep in my bones, kind of unavoidably there in the way it is for DC and DSis/Bro.
I probably love muy parents unconditionally in a way too. i really don't like my dad because there's little to like or respect in the man, but I do love him and maintain contact instead of hanging out in the Stately Homes threads.

Of course you can love someone other than your unconditionally

That may not be a healthy relationship but it certainly happens

I agree with partners not being unconditionally loved, but my mum and siblings too and I think ot stretches to their kids.

My dad has passed away now and I found out some pretty unpleasant stuff about him after his death. Nothing illegal, but bad choices he made.

I don't love him any less than I did before I found out.

I can't imagine anything my mum could do to make me not love her.

I would guess that women and men in abusive situations often love their partners unconditionally. Hence why some stay till they end up dead. X

You should have conditions on romantic love. Serious conditions. And the lack of them (and women in particular being encouraged not to have them) is the source of misery and suffering.

I do actually think you should have some boundaries around how you express love for your children as well. Enabling addictions for example, or supporting your rapist son as we frequently see. But I can't imagine DD doing anything that would mean I loved her less than 100%.

I love my pets more unconditionally mpre than my dp because humans can be temperamental, can cheat, can be nasty, a long list of things, the most a pet can do is attack or bite but is not highly, but unlikely to happen. Me and my dp can split up anytime but my pets will still be there. And my lovr for my kids will allways be unconditional, even if they did the most heinous thing ypu cpuld think of, deep down i would always still love them. Anyone thinking they cpuld love a partner unconditionally have high unrealistic views of relationships.

My mum. No conditions on her.

I think if someone did something truly evil, like a kill a child for example, I wouldn't love them whoever they were.

I love my DH unconditionally, my brother and SIL, plus my niece and nephew, plus my parents, but they're easy to love because they're so lovely and if they do anything to piss me off, then I still love them unconditionally because they're my family.

I love my parents, my sister and my pets unconditionally. I don't have any children - it's a bit odd to suggest unconditional love can only be known to those with children.

I think you'll find that there is no such thing as "unconditional love" for anyone human. Even your children if they treat you badly enough for long enough (as adults obviously).

I would walk in front of a lorry for any of my children.
If I was on a boat that was sinking I would let my DH drown before my children and he would see me drown first (we've discussed it)
I love my children more than myself and my desire for them to live is stronger than my own desire to protect myself. I think most mothers feel the same?

I've invested a lot of myself in my DC and they're lovely people. I couldn't not love them!

The love I have for my child is so much different than any other love I have experienced.
However the love I have for my DH is indescribable, and I would struggle to not love him, no matter what happened I think a little love would always remain considering how I feel about him and that he's father to my child.