To think you can't love anyone except your children 'unconditionally'?

[OutofSyncGirl]

I really think that people who believe you can find a partner you love unconditionally have an unrealistic and romanticised view of a relationship.

I think that everyone should certainly love their children unconditionally. But it's impossible to apply this concept to anyone else.

The love I have for my child is so much different than any other love I have experienced.
However the love I have for my DH is indescribable, and I would struggle to not love him, no matter what happened I think a little love would always remain considering how I feel about him and that he's father to my child.

I'm with you OP, but I do freely admit I struggle with my emotions and I'm not sure I've ever been in romantic love despite having been married. I can't ever imagine feeling love for anyone the way I do for DS.

That isn't really unconditional love, it's biology

It's not just biology - I have a biological child and an adopted child, and I love them both utterly and unconditionally

I agree- there is nothing my DD could do that would make me not love her. Even If they turned out to do something “evil” I may not like them but the love wouldn’t change. Re: Spouses/ partners, Yes people can leave partners whilst they love them if they mistreat them but eventually you’d fall out of love with them surely? It’s not unconditional

My husband and his siblings were neglected and effectively left to raise one another. I think it is safe to say that they love one another unconditionally.

I think unconditional means that you can love someone but not necessarily their behaviour. So in theory it would be possible to love a partner that way.

My family doesn't love me unconditionally. That's been made abundantly clear.

I think the only true love you experience is the one you feel for your kids. It's impossible to feel anything as powerful for an adult that's not even related to you. All that is just insignificant in comparison.

I love dh unconditionally. It's not a romantic thing, it's just a fact. We've been together for going on three decades since we were teenagers, effectively we have grown up together and seen each other through so much. If we were to fall out of romantic love for each other I would still love him deeply as a close friend, almost a brother.

I also love my sister unconditionally - again, it's the love born of a lifetime of going through things together, and nothing can break it.

This doesn't mean I will put up with bad behaviour (from either of them), but that is a matter of self respect, principles, and, in an extreme (very theoretical, I hasten to add) case, ethics.

PoorYorick - me too. My father doesn't love me. I'm sorry to hear this. I do love my daughters unconditionally luckily because I've decided not to follow their blueprint.

i think i love my mum unconditionally too. but then, she would never do anything terrible...

I love my children and sisters unconditionally

Defo love my pets unconditionally cos they are warm n furry n don't do anything to hurt anyone. Love my disabled sister unconditionally- again, she's not capable of doing anything nasty.

Love me best friend unconditionally too, due to what we've been through together n we're so similar, couldn't Imaging life without them.

Love my husband deeply too, but I wouldn't say that it's unconditional.

Sorry to hear that, OutofSyncGirl. I have learned to live with it but it does hurt sometimes.

My brother loves me unconditionally, I think. He is an excellent buffer between me, my sister and my mother. I don't know how he does it. I don't think it's because he's the only man, because he was like that even when my father was alive (and once launched himself between us when my father was getting ready to grab my throat, but that's another story).

You will be a better parent than your father, by far. The fact that you've started this thread and are having these thoughts proves you understand it, even if you didn't have the model for it. You can be your own model.

I'd add my nieces and nephews to that too.

I love unconditionally. Once I love someone that's it i love them for life. For me that doesn't mean I like them all the time or even can be around them all the time. It means though that I want what's best for them and i want them to be happy. Love is love it's unconditional by its nature. Obviously I am closer to my children as I am bringing them up and am responsible for them but I can't just switch it off, the love is always there even if the relationship is geographically or circumstantially distant.

I’ve always agreed with this, well.. ever since I had kids. It’s a completely different, unconditional and deep kind of love that I’ve never found possible with anybody else - as much as I love my OH and my parents etc.. it isn’t the same and couldn’t possibly be the same.

I’d be devastated if my OH/parents/etc died, but I’d not be able to live if my children died. I’d collapse inwardly, there would be nothing left of me.

So yeah, I agree completely

I'm not sure that truly unconditional love exists.

What do you mean 'unconditionally'? If my children did something truely horrific like really bad paedophilia, I would struggle.

What do you mean 'unconditionally'? If my children did something truely horrific like really bad paedophilia, I would struggle.

What do you mean 'unconditionally'? If my children did something truely horrific like really bad paedophilia, I would struggle.

I'd still love my kids - that is unconditional but I wouldn't like them. Dp's love is conditional on him not being a dick as another pp said.

I think loving a partner unconditionally is setting yourself up for heartbreak.

For me, what someone does, and who that person is are inextricably linked. I could be madly in love, but if that person then took me home and showed me their collection of Nazi memorabilia, I think that love would fade pretty darn quick.

The only people I love unconditionally are my children. My love for my partner is dependent on many things and there is lots of behaviour that could make me not love him anymore. The same for other family members.

Love for me is a verb. If I'm not having anything to do with someone then I probably don't love them. I might love the "old" them and I might have some lovely memories. I don't think I love anyone unconditionally. I don't think it exists and I'm pretty sure we all have our limits, which our children could cross.