To think you can't love anyone except your children 'unconditionally'?

[OutofSyncGirl]

I really think that people who believe you can find a partner you love unconditionally have an unrealistic and romanticised view of a relationship.

I think that everyone should certainly love their children unconditionally. But it's impossible to apply this concept to anyone else.

I love my dc unconditionally, and my parents. Everyone else, conditionally.

My dc are the only people whose lives I'd put before my own.

Even if my children were rapists or murderers id still love them. Id even visit them and be there for them. My mum too.

I don’t believe people love their parents unconditionally - from experience I know there are things your parents can do that will make you hate them. You just haven’t experienced those things, doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen or you’d still love them if it did.

I love my children, my mum and my pets unconditionally. No one else. I would probably feel the same about my dad and siblings, but my dad died when I was very young and I'm an only child.

I don't think you can love anyone unconditionally unless you love everyone unconditionally.

If there are no conditions, then the love would apply equally to everyone.

Parents.

I love my sister unconditionally. And my mom. And, now I think of it, my BiL ANS nieces.

And

I don't love my DH unconditionally. He never would, but in an imaginary world if he raped me or someone else or hit me, I would stop loving him.

The reason he is worthy of the intense and powerful love I have for him is because he is an amazing man and deserves to be loved that way.

I think you love people you love unconditionally but you don't like, respect, or hold affection for people after they have you down - my parents have managed to let me down numerous times but they still have a hold on me - is it love or obligation? .

I do not think you automatically love your parents unconditionally because conditions need to have been there in the first place for the love to grow.I also think you believe you love your children unconditionally because you could never imagine them being capable of anything that would stop the love.

I love my mum to bits, but I think even she could push me not to love her if she did terrible stuff.

I don't love my dad. He was abusive. I feel something for him, but that is biological. It isn't love. I can't love him when I don't like him and who he is. Sometimes I don't like my children much but that is different, that's a fleeting dislike for them, that doesn't last long, but if they were rapists, murderers and hurt and abused people I wouldn't like them as people. If you really don't like someone as a person how can you love them?

I think everyone has a limit. I am sure that everyone has something their children could do to stop them loving them.

When I was younger my mother would regularly tell me that she loved me, but didn't necessarily like me. (We are very similar personality wise and clash a lot.)

I remember being offended by this when I was younger but can see what she meant now that I am older; you can love the person but hate their actions. I'm sure I'd still love my parents, for example, even if they did something terrible, but I'd hate what they did.

I do think people love other adults unconditionally and I think it is really unhealthy, as it allows them to do anything, and it means you have no boundaries.

It is possible to have deep love full of grace and forgiveness for each others quirks and foibles and to be flexible with each others needs and desires. But there are lines that we should not allow others to cross. If my dh hit me, or forced me to do anything, then I should respond by removing my love for him and kicking him out.

Although (bit of thinking aloud here) I suppose that if you believe that sometimes loving someone means making a tough decision about them, for their own good in the long run, then maybe chucking out the abusive person is in a way a loving gesture as it is a form of tough love, in a way it could be seen to be saying - I love you enough to not allow you to do this to me.
Hmm.

As for kids, again, what do we mean by unconditional love, because my love for them would certainly include going none contact if I needed to.

I absolutely love my Mum unconditionally, my siblings, my pets.

I do think people love other adults unconditionally and I think it is really unhealthy,

Do you have to stop loving your kids at 18 then?

I'm so sorry for people on here who have had a difficult time with DHs and other relationships

I have been lucky. I love all of my family unconditionally; including siblings and cousins. We grew up like a tribe but are scattered now. I even love their children. I love parents, aunties and uncles although I see them rarely.

Certain behaviours, especially from siblings, means I have set boundaries to protect my self respect but we have never stopped loving and we are better now.

DC is only little and it goes without saying that I will love her forever. It's up to me to guide her to make good choices so any bad choices are a reflection on me.

DH ditto siblings. My love for him has grown organically. He has been a dick sometimes as have I but we sort it out. We don't stop loving each other; that would be weird! You can't switch love on or off like that!!

Loving unconditionally does not mean you don't have boundaries. The two are not mutually exclusive!

My kid and my pets. And my nephew and niece.

But mellon the definition of loving unconditionally is loving someone no matter what they do. So they are mutually exclusive

I don't think you can ever know if you love someone unconditionally because you're very unlikely to have your bond with that person challenged in every possible way to be able to tell.

@OutofSyncGirl I disagree. You can set boundaries of what is acceptable behaviour. You can still live someone if those boundaries are broken. You might not live with them or condone their actions but you can still love them.

Clearly, I mean love when I say live!!

I remember my DD when little saying that I didn't love her.I told her that I would always love her no matter what but that I didn't always like her.
I love my parents too,sadly only my mum left.As she gets older I find myself getting more irritated with her but still love her.

I will always love my children unconditionally. If they did something bad, I would want them punished but my love for them wouldn't stop. I love my partner a lot and if he betrayed me I would still love him but I would leave and try and move on.