To think you can't love anyone except your children 'unconditionally'?

[OutofSyncGirl]

I really think that people who believe you can find a partner you love unconditionally have an unrealistic and romanticised view of a relationship.

I think that everyone should certainly love their children unconditionally. But it's impossible to apply this concept to anyone else.

I don't think unconditional love exists, there are always going to be conditions attached, even subconsciously. If my child grew up to be the next Hitler, or a pedophile, or they murdered one of my other children, I probably wouldn't love them.

I love my children and my mum/dad, and grandparents unconditionally.

All other relatives including DP, dsc, in laws, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews it is all conditional.

I love my grandma unconditionally, and my grandpa while he was alive.

The way I sort of look at it is unconditional love is reserved for those who you don't choose to have in your life. E.g. Parents & children- you don't pick them based on what type of people they are, so therefore you love them unconditionally. I think it's a sort of in-built biological response that you can't really turn off. My mother is a narcissistic, emotionally abusive woman who I really don't like as a person. However I still love her and feel guilty if I don't return her calls or if something bad happens to her, because my love for her is unconditional.

The people you choose to have in your life based on the type of people they are and how they make you feel (friends, partners) don't have that same biological unconditional love.

loads of people saying they love their mum unconditionally.

But that is because fundamentally they are nice/you have a good relationship.

If your parents/grandparents etc were to do something horrific, I do think that love would stop. Eg if your parents were to murder your kids.

Now, you may say (quite rightly) that they would never do that, but the point is, that there is an invisible condition on your love. The invisible condition is that they don't behave like a monster. If that condition were broken, then the love would (probably) stop.

If youhave a horribel mother, and chose to go non contact, bu still love you, that is not undconditional love, that is love where you have put boundaries in. By definition, as soon as you put a boundary in, it is no longer unconditional.

I think people are mistaking "I love them to pieces and would do anything for them" for unconditional love. It is not the same thing

I don’t think people should love anyone but their kids unconditionally. What if your life partner turned out to be an active paedophile? Would you still love them?

It’s only since having kids that I realised I had never and will never love anyone else unconditionally.

Are you saying that those who do not have children are unable took effect unconditionally?

...are unable to love unconditionally...

Are you saying that those who do not have children are unable took effect unconditionally?

Me? No. See the bit where I said ‘I’? That means me.

If a child grows up to be a pedophile or rapist then chances are they have something wrong mentally or have been victims themselves.

Pets are just animals so it’s folly to think they are loved unconditionally. What if they harm a child?

I don’t think its healthy to love anything or anyone without conditions.