To be fed up with my husband?

[FineAsWeAre]

For context, I work full time and I am also in my final year of studying for a degree. I have struggled with depression for years and have problems with my back and knees which can affect my mobility. My husband also works full time and we have a 7yo. I feel like he’s not being supportive at all, he keeps saying he’ll do more in the house but he isn’t doing, meaning the cleaning is piling up. He cooks most of the time but isn’t organised with the food shopping (despite me doing meal plans and shopping lists) which means him dashing to the supermarket on his way home every day. He is supposed to do the washing as I can’t lift the basket but that piles up too and ends up with it all being done once a week and then I have a mountain to iron and put away. I constantly have to ask him to do things which should be common sense, and if I ask him to do something specific because I’m busy studying, he usually forgets. He claims he’s ‘too tired’ most of the time. AIBU to think he should pull his weight a bit more? I feel like I’ve got two children sometimes!

Tsk, Tsk OP, fancy thinking that a male partner should actually take on more of the drudgery and life planning whilst you are working AND studying. I mean he half arsedly does some shopping and cooking and if in the mood some washing - kiss his arse, he is a godsend. You lazy cow. And daring to use ill health a a reason for not doing stuff - you're a disgrace to martyred womanhood.

Once you've finished your degree and start teaching, this problem is not going to get any better. You'll be working just as much during your NQT year and probably beyond that.

I think you need to sit down and re-assess the division of chores now.

Op

I think you should sit down with your husband and re divide the chores.

Cooking and shopping and laundry are a get small part of managing a home and child!

Because you are doing a degree he should imo be doing more than fifty percent of the chores.

You should offer to maintain upstairs and let him look after downstairs including laundry, food and cleaning.

You do your sons homework and bath so that should be a nice even split.

I will say though - it’s a bit late in the day to be instilling these changes

So good luck!

From another POV @FineAsWeAre, have you any idea how your husband feels? If he says he's knackered, could he also be emotionally exhausted? You talk about both your physical and mental health, does he have any of his own?

Or does he think things are fine as they are and doesn't see what the problem is?