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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Aibu to think Mumsnet has issues with black women

624 replies

Ghanagirl · 14/04/2018 11:51

Just that really, I’ve read really horrible comments about Meghan Markle, Alexandra Burke, Serena Williams talented and hardworking individuals who seem to offend some Mumsnetters simply by being beautiful and successful.
I’m not surprised as happens in RL but I guess it’s disappointing as Mumsnet touts itself as a more educated network than netmums

OP posts:
Boulshired · 14/04/2018 23:16

The thin line for artist like Alexandra Burke is she relies on publicity, creating an atmosphere that comments about her are automatically racist could lead to people saying nothing at all. Of course some will be racist but many will not be. most people in the public eye have a percentage of people who dislike them.

NoSquirrels · 14/04/2018 23:19

@Cicera But you’re responding to the debate with thought-provoking comments and the OP is ... not. They’re responding in a sort of style that I find adversarial and familiar (in a bad way).

VladmirsPoutine · 14/04/2018 23:22

@Cicera Thank you for those links.

I sometimes despair. When my black/arab father was dating my white mother they'd be called all sorts of names. I sometimes wonder if they had it better off than my siblings and I as these days racism doesn't manifest itself in a "You fucking N***" type of rhetoric. It's more "Oh, you're part black and arab!!, I never would have guessed, you speak so well!!"

Bastards.

Cicera · 14/04/2018 23:37

I'm gonna leave this here then bow out, because while people are being really cool it does raise my blood pressure still and I need to sleep!

diagram of racism!

Obviously it's not the be-all-and-end-all, but I think it's useful and thought-provoking.

What a lot of hyphens.

Ghanagirl · 14/04/2018 23:38

ShapelyBingoWing
I never said this forum is racist and the fact you can engage with a poster who you think is white whilst criticising the OP who’s admitted she’s black just proves my point, why do I have to prove “inadvertent racism” as far as I’m concerned racist behaviour isn’t inadvertent it’s just racism

OP posts:
Cicera · 14/04/2018 23:38

(it's also very America-focused eg 'thugs' used as a word to describe young black men, basically standing for the n-word)

Ghanagirl · 14/04/2018 23:43

NoSquirrels
The OP is an intelligent woman who you can’t be bothered to engage with directly because you feel its easier to talk to a poster who you think is Caucasian even though the topic is regarding racism to women of colour🤷🏾‍♀️

OP posts:
willynillypie · 14/04/2018 23:45

As another PP said, I find this a highly demeaning and racist thread as it implies that MM and other WOC can only be disliked or judged based on their skin colour, therefore defining them completely by the colour of their skin?! I am sure there are racist arseholes who make comments about them, but disliking someone for a variety of reasons who happens to be black is not racist. Just like disliking someone for a variety of reasons who happens to be a woman is not sexist. I also find a lot of OP's additional comments to other posters have been fucking rude and also racist. I have reported this thread as OP has not been able to have a constructive conversation with anyone - some people have been providing very eloquent arguments to support her, but she herself has just been insulting and inflammatory, and the arguments presented here detract from and belittle the very real, very serious racism that goes on on a day to day basis, the type of shocking and appalling racism OP herself has faced from people on the street (but was not able to provide anecdotal evidence that she had faced from anyone on MN, which was the topic of the thread).

Ghanagirl · 14/04/2018 23:45

Cicera
Thanks for the support but I’m now also bowing out...

OP posts:
ShapelyBingoWing · 14/04/2018 23:46

the fact you can engage with a poster who you think is white whilst criticising the OP who’s admitted she’s black just proves my point

Can I ask why you're under the impression I've decided Cicera is white? Why you've distinguished between 'engaging' with that poster but apparently 'criticising' you? What do you think my racial background is?

NoSquirrels · 14/04/2018 23:50

you feel its easier to talk to a poster who you think is Caucasian even though the topic is regarding racism to women of colour

Come on now Hmm

scottishdiem · 14/04/2018 23:52

No it's not black women per se. More that when black women (or men) complain about racisim that isn't over name calling or clear discrimination the good women of mumsnet can struggle.

Ghanagirl · 14/04/2018 23:58

willynillypie I haven’t been insulting or racist you’re swearing at me and I haven’t used bad language to describe or demean anyone who disagrees with me.
You’ve reported this thread due to the fact that you feel I’m not allowed to voice my opinion.
You’ve described me as racist but if you look up the definition of racism it’s about power.
As a black woman in a prodomintly white society I have no power so continue to insult me and report me but I’ve done nothing wrong in letting my voice be heard.

OP posts:
Ghanagirl · 15/04/2018 00:00

.scottishdiem
Is that my problem though🤷🏾‍♀️

OP posts:
willynillypie · 15/04/2018 00:09

You’ve reported this thread due to the fact that you feel I’m not allowed to voice my opinion

Stop being so self-obsessed. You have 0 idea about my ethnicity so please don't make assumptions. If you read my post you would see that I reported the thread because I find it to be inherently racist (for reasons I have explained). Either way there is no point engaging with you because you are using childish shrugging emojis and clearly enjoying provoking people - you aren't "letting your voice be heard" by the way. You posted a claim that you have not substantiated in the slightest, and you are coming across as a moron.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/04/2018 00:09

@Ghanagirl - firstly as other posters have said, MN is a microcosm of society, so unfortunately there will be racism here - MN is not a Utopia, free of nastiness - though I firmly beli be that it is, on balance a good place, and the good things that go on here vastly outweigh the bad.

I also believe MNHQ will deal firmly with any racist posts that are report d to them - just as they deal with personal attacks etc. But we, as members of the community, have a responsibility to do our bit by reporting any posts we feel cross the line. We aren’t just passive observers of the site - what we do here helps to shape MN.

I also think that the anonymity of MN can be a good thing - I tend to feel that people who meet me will judge me very negatively because of my weight, and find it comforting that, on here, I am judged on my thoughts and words as expressed here. I am honest with what I say, so I hope I give an accurate representation of who I am - and I assume that the rest of MN are the same.

When one is particularly sensitive to a particular topic, every single mention of it tends to stick out like a sore thumb, and we tend to notice the things that reinforce our beliefs (I think this is called confirmation bias) - so I am particularly sensitive to things that denigrate people like me who are fat or have depression or anxiety, whilst others are really sensitive to any negative mentions of mothers in law, or formula feeding or gender critical views - so they will ‘see’ these things as a much bigger problem on MN than they actually are. You are clearly far more finely attuned to anything with racist overtones, because of your life experiences - so every time you see racism on here it will really stick in your mind the way other things stick in others’ minds.

I am not saying that it is not a problem - as I say, you are more attuned to this than me, and I believe you when you say it is here - but I also believe that MNHQ will do whatever they can to deal with it, when it is reported to them, and I also think that most MNers will challenge it when they see it - that would be my hope, certainly.

Mumto2two · 15/04/2018 00:33

This is the most 'racist' thread I have ever read on MN. In terms of an OP who is seemingly intent on incitement.
Accusing posters that they are engaging with other fellow 'presumed white posters' in voicing their disapproval of your own racial incitement on here..well what can I say. It's just a staggering example of the pot & kettle scenario!

Ghanagirl · 15/04/2018 00:44

Mumto2two
Really this most racist thread?
As a black woman I worry about and have been on the receiving end of racism in real life and I'm the problem!!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 15/04/2018 00:55

I don't like her but that's only because she's so American and fake not because of her skin colour or heritage.

You don't like her because she's So American? and fake.

And not because of her skin colour or heritage? Confused

DameGlitterSparkles · 15/04/2018 10:10

Is that racist card still burning a hole in your pocket OP?

Xenia · 15/04/2018 10:17

Lots of good posts above. Although we do not seem to have been too happy with the way the original poster has tried to argue her case, it has sparked an interesting discussion. I genuinely do not think about people posting on line as white or black or anything else - it's one of the nice things of the internet, does not matter at all. However I am always glad when we can hear people's views as we can learn from them.

I don't think it's a particularly racist thread. I do thikn in the UK as contrasted with the US there are more issues about class and accent than colour of skin in the UK. My sons' friends are mostly not white (if that's the right term) but most from fee paying schools. I think they fit in with our culture and group here in London more than my mother's 52 cousins in deprived Sunderland who are all white. If there is a gulf it is with them although when most humans get to talk to other humans we tend always to find common ground anyway.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 15/04/2018 10:20

Dame, just don't.

willynillypie · 15/04/2018 10:21

This reply has been deleted

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findingmyfeet12 · 15/04/2018 10:31

I think people have lost the point of the thread somewhat.

I don't think anyone is denying that racism is a part of modern UK society.

The op started the thread about mn specifically and implied that it was a racist forum. I tend to disagree dispite thinking that mn is generally quite bitchy and vicious. That's not to say that there's no racism here, I honestly think there's more out there in the real world than on here. Aside from SW (and I've not seen any threads about her) I can think of any number of reasons why people would dislike MM & MO and none of them are racist reasons. When did it become unusual or noteworthy for a political figure to be disliked?

Op is entitled to her opinion but it's unrealistic to ask whether yabu and then complain when people don't agree with you.

Ghanagirl · 15/04/2018 10:32

willynillypie
Vile personal insults to someone you've never met because I dared to start a thread that You disagree with seems very over the top.
I've obviously hit a nerve maybe you should examine your behaviour and reflect on your motivation for the personal attack.

OP posts:
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