Oversensitive about something I heard at party?

[dextermorgan1]

Hi am keeping the details vague as don't want to be outed.

I overheard a conversation at a party recently, it was a children's birthday party. Two women were chatting, I know them both but one better than the other. The one who I know quite well (I would class her as a friend) had her baby with her and she was letting the other woman hold him while they chatted.

Baby started crying. The woman holding him said "Is he crying because he has ginger hair?" and then laughed. She passed him back to his mother who didn't say anything, just smiled awkwardly. I felt really bad for her! Firstly, he doesn't really have ginger hair it's just a light auburn brown, and secondly even if he did, so what! Babies are beautiful no matter what hair colour they have. And even if you don't think so, surely you don't make a comment like that?!

These two women don't know each other that well, they had mutual friends at the party and probably see each other every few months or so. I've spoken to my friend since this and she said she was a bit surprised but not really offended as she knows this other woman is a nice person and wouldn't have meant it horribly.

AIBU to think it's just something you don't say?!! Am prepared to be told I am!

I find it strange that people with ginger or red hair get so much stick. I actually think it's very attractive. I'd have bristled on your friend's behalf in your shoes as well, OP. You know your friend, so I should think you can work out whether she's upset or not.

It was definitely a ridiculous comment.

I have ginger hair. I love it now. I was bullied throughout school because of it, and the fact I am tall. It made me hate myself and constantly beg my mum to let me dye it. It really isn't funny and it does chip away at your self esteem. The comments I had to face were disgusting. It does seem that people are allowed to say what they want about ginger hair/pale skin. I don't know why.

My LO has the most ginger hair I've ever seen. Someone made a very similar comment to me when he was a baby. I just stared at them blankly until they were just squirming enough with embarrassment and then changed the subject. 😁

I'd be annoyed (and I'm not a red haired!)
It's mocking the baby's hair colour. Aren't they amusing?!

And yet still some people think the OP is over-reacting... no doubt they'd just see it as "harmless banter", despite the many comments about the negative impact constant twatting on about red hair has on people with red hair. :(

If i was the parent I probably would have said something really cruel back like "no he's more likely to be crying at your face then his own hair colour love " but then I'm mean and very sharp with my tongue

I think what people don't get is that the twatting on as ThumbWitch so elegantly puts it is indeed constant. DS2 says it's every single day. Complete strangers comment negatively about his appearance every single day. Imagine what that feels like. He's in a job where he works with the public, so he's always in contact with new people - people who think they're the only ones to ever notice that he's got red hair and a red beard and want to point it out to him as if he didn't know.

I don’t understand this negativity around ginger hair, MIL said to me when my youngest was born to ‘shave his ginger head as it meant the hair wouldn’t grow back blonde’ we didn’t obviously. It urned blonde naturally anyway,’which prompted her to ask us ‘arent you relieved he’s not ginger’ errrm no. Not at all. His hair colour makes no different to us.

Alberta - it's bizarre isn't it! He must get to the point of saying "IS it? OMG, it was brown this morning, what the fuck happened??"

like shit I walked in the rain this morning, have I gone rusty?