To want to sell this house!

[Seaviewsunshine]

So we bought a house 18 months ago. A big lovely house in a dream village, primarily so our DS could start school where we wanted him to be. But to do that we had to max out everything (huge mortgage and use all our savings) and now we’re struggling to afford it and have very little disposable income. A few factors in play here, DH diagnosed with a chronic illness after being poorly for a couple of years meant I had to step down my job and I now hardly earn anything, a complete house renovation which we hadn’t planned on doing, naivity that we could live on nothing and somehow be happy! Our marriage is suffering as my poor DH is going all the house renovations whilst working full time and we have 2 small kids (DS 4 & DD 2) who are busy!! We have no money for anything fun and the smallest expense is a worry. Do we stick it out and hope things get better?! Or downsize considerably and hope that alleviates the pressure. Realistically this would mean relocating DS school, making some big concessions on the location/features of house and for me to find a new job.

I have no answers, OP, but you do have my sympathy. You sound as though you're going through a tough time right now and I hope that you soon find a resolution to your problems.

I would sell it tomorrow.

The sheer stress of no money and all that work will grind you down.

Thank you Terfs, yes not a happy time at the moment

It sounds really difficult but if it’s taking its toll on your marriage and health, I think you need to take it very seriously.
If your marriage crumbles, you’ll have to sell anyway, so better to sell to stay together than sell to split your assets two ways.

Dh has a chronic illness but you cut your hours and he still works full time and does all the diy? Could you go back to full time and dh go part time? Maybe tone down the diy plans?

NC4 good point! I hope that selling would help us but if not at least we tried all options.

I would sell in a heartbeat.

I never understand why people prioritise a big house over a comfortable life. It just doesn't seem worth it to me.

Some we made that decision as he earns considerably more than I do (or could) and also I do school hours now so I can do all the childcare (pick ups/holidays etc) so he doesn’t have that pressure. We have no family nearby to help with that. The house is a bit like DIY SOS in places so we really need to finish it by some means...

Laurie trust me it doesn’t feel worth it now!

Could he drop a day a week? And you pick one up?

Very little sympathy here I'm afraid, it was entirely your choice to "max out" on a property and obviously pay far too much for it as it's now proving to be a money pit, it's this kind of feckless, irresponsible attitude towards money and property that lead to the last bubble and resultant financial crisis and will cause the next one.

Sounds like you’d be much happier if you sold it, and honestly that’s all that matters

sall

I think sell up. Ds is still very young so it's a good time now to move schools, rather than waiting until friendships etc are better established. Hope things look up for you soon.

Laurie trust me it doesn’t feel worth it now!

Just downsize and take the pressure off!

If you were to sell and buy something smaller wouldn’t the cost of moving, legal/ agents fees and stamp duty add up?

As the saying goes, buy as large as you can afford....I appreciate you’re saying you can’t afford it but could you if you stopped spending on home improvements?

Is the house so bad that it your husband needs to do continual DIY? Is it livable? Could he take a break from house spending/ DIY whilst the children are small and your dh is ill and start again when the children are older?

I can’t give you any advice, we bought a house 6 years ago that hadn’t been touched since 1981, lots of gold, shell shaped sinks, advocado bathroom, floral wallpaper, awful carpets. We couldn’t afford to do the whole houses so did the upstairs bathrooms, painted the walls with brewers white emulsion, pulled up the carpet and painted the floor boards white and bought cheap white wooden Venetian blinds from web blinds. The Scandinavian look is very cheap and stylish! The downstairs still isn’t done.

Good luck with your decision and I wish your husband well.

Disposable income is the main reason we decided to extend our property rather than move to a slightly bigger house & double our mortgage.
In your position I'd try other solutions rather than sell up 1st as you've already maxed out & are renovating. Look at working patterns & see if you can pick up some of the slack for DH?

How long will it take to get the house in to a saleable condition? If it's going to be a year or two and your youngest will be starting nursery and school would you be able to increase your hours at work then?

Also depends if your DH is able to manage his chronic illness long term and keep up his job full time of course.

For now I'd put everything in to getting the renovations completed as quickly as possible.

@sall74 was that really necessary

OP do you have room for a lodger? Maybe someone who would pay for a room through DIY?

Can you switch to an interest only mortgage for a few years?

Re the refurbishment, be utterly ruthless on your priorities. What would make the most difference to your comfort? Tackle that first.

Scout freegle etc. for materials and second hand stuff.

It will get easier in a year or two when both kids are in school. Can you tough it out until then?

mixingitall beat me to it. Even if you move to a smaller, cheaper place you’ll still have to find the stamp duty, fees etc.
It might be tough for a while but I think I’d stick it out.
Do you have any friends nearby? Could you have a decorating party in return for a bbq and a few drinks? It might make it feel better even if it is just the superficial stuff that gets done xx

Have you looked at all the costs you can cut, insurance, phone contracts etc. Cut your food bills down, love frugally to build up a bit of an emergency fund.
Can you put the renovations on hold for a while, take the pressure off your husband.

It shouldn’t take us too long to get the house in a bearable condition as long as my poor hubby doesn’t keel over. He’s struggling at the moment. I’m doing what I can but can’t plumb/tile/do electrics like he can!!

But once is bareable we still are struggling financially. Yes I can look at changing careers when my youngest is at school but that’s 18 months away. Before then the childcare for both kids & commuting costs doesn’t make it worth it and the added pressure on DH to help with childcare isn’t going to help him. My job now fits in with school but doesn’t pay well.

Mando yes!! Got everything down as far as I could.

We’ve roped in family and friends as much as poss but lots of it it’s semi skilful stuff like fitting bathrooms/carpentry so not easy for lots of people to do! And DH is probably a perfectionist!

Selling fees, stamp duty, buying costs, moving costs - depending on the value of your property you may be looking at a couple of tens of thousands there. You can pay many months of mortgage with that sort of money. Stay put, go back to full time work, slow down on the DIY, it will get easier.

I second the idea of getting a lodger in. You can charge up to around £80 a week without being taxed on the income. Google government rent a room scheme. If you live in a desirable area you could charge more/ and ask the person to babysit if they are suitable (ideally teacher, nanny, nurse, childcare/education student?). That might help your relationship with DH too?

If you really love the school could you move to a flat/smaller property in.the area?
Is the house in a rentable state so you could swap properties until your situation changed? If mortgage allows?