Good (in difficult circumstances) to read more of exchange of experiences and views rather than personal attacks.
There is a position outside of a firm commitment to yes or no based on science beliefs, a chosen set of morals beliefs.
I am extremely uncomfortable with abortion for non medical (and very young girls, abuse situations). I do feel that a fœtus is a child. The important word here is that I “feel”. I don’t know more than anyone else knows.
However I do not believe I, or any other uninvolved party, has any right to tell a person or family what to do. It is not my choice. It is also not my place or anyone else’s place to judge a very personal and almost always very difficult decision.
Unless we have walked in a person’s shoes, we have no idea of the emotion, the pain, the challenges, the experiences. This goes for many difficult life situations. The best we can therefore do is to listen, without judgement, to those who have been in a situation. We should be creating a safe space for stories to be shared. This is how we learn and can act with empathy and understanding.
I can’t imagine the pain of this decision. The fact that I would not do it unless medically necessary for my existing family is neither here not there. It is not my experience that matters. The fact that women speak of being made to feel much worse or traumatised is beyond unfair. The situation is already tragic, placing more pain on a person is not the right of any other person, particularly not strangers or those without the experience.
If we all listened, we would get a lot further. I’m so sad to hear stories (bravely shared) of incredibly difficult experiences. Yes I feel that there is life (in the cases of good health), but it is not my life/bunch of cells and therefore it is not me decision to make. It is also not my decision to say a person cannot do something that they are uniquely placed to decide upon.
I particularly find stories of medical necessity, a devestating tragedy, turning into a huge further trauma, incredibly sad. I can’t imagine how this feels. All I can do is listen.
So here I am, I happen to feel (important word) that a healthy fœtus in a healthy (physically and emotionally ie no abuse) is a life. I have no religious basis for my feelings, this is my experience with children who may not have been born shaping me. Again, my (not the only) experience.
I am not screaming about body autonomy (in healthy cases) or choice, I think this diminishes the complexity... there is a point where we in certain cases have to take responsibility for previous choices. As we man if we insist on being treated as strong adults, we also have to act like them. However if taking responsibility translates as considered all the unique parts of a situation and coming to a difficult decision, so be it. Sometimes, often, the decision is the strong woman one to make.
To be honest it seems to me that regardless of decision, a great deal of strength and resilience is needed. We should respect this, rather than presume to know the details of the life of another.
So here I am, not shouting, not a personal fan of this particular reality of the world, but sure that it is not my place to make a judgement for anyone else. That includes which way to vote.
So I will be voting to give the option without trauma to a person facing the decision, because despite my discomfort with the reality of this being part of life, it is only my decision if it is me and as we all know, life is complex and difficult. Empathy is needed, not agression. I do not wish to be part of causing any distress or trauma to someone in an already incredibly difficult position and anyone who has found themselves personally in a very difficult situation and done their very best to make a very difficult decision has my thoughts.