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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

SiL stole DH's tattoo

121 replies

upsideup · 10/04/2018 14:32

DH has tattoos of the kids names in their handwriting from the first time they wrote it and it was readable, hes just got 4 year old DS2's name added.
SiL has just got the same with her kids names but in a 13 year old and 10 year olds handwriting and then a 2 year olds scribble.
DH has lots of tattoos, SiL before this had no tattoos. She also hasnt tell us about this and we just found out from her dd showing us a photo, its fully healed so done some time ago.

AIBU to be extremely annoyed by this? I know DH doesnt own doing it but its obvious shes copied him and then to not even mention it us.

To not drip feed this isnt the first time she's tried to copy us. We go on holiday somewhere and she goes the same place next year, we get a dog and she gets the same bread a few months later (and then gets rid of it after a year), my DC start a new hobby and hers soon start the same. Oh and 3 year old dd is Emmi and her girls name if her 2 year old ds was a girl apparently was always going to Emma since she was a child (she has an older dd she didnt want to call Emma).

OP posts:

BottleBeach · 10/04/2018 15:48

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.tattoodo.com/a/2015/03/tattoo-copyright-what-you-need-to-know/amp.html

Knittedfairies · 10/04/2018 15:51

Not just unreasonable, ridiculous too.

lastnamefirstfirstnamelast · 10/04/2018 15:52

I've got a tattoo of my daughters name in her handwriting, i got this in 2012...so....

TooTrueToBeGood · 10/04/2018 15:59

Many people who copy others, especially those they look up to or admire, do so because they lack self-confidence. Perhaps a little empathy is in order rather than resentment. Out of interest, is your OH bothered and does he know you have so much festering negativity towards his sister?

specialsubject · 10/04/2018 16:03

waah!! you copied me!!!

are we in the playground?

still, at least the tattoos are handy if you can't remember your kid's names... wotsername Brad Pitt's ex did it a while back, I think. So you are all copycats.

BrashCandicoot · 10/04/2018 16:07

This is what's hilarious about tattoos.

SisterMoonshine · 10/04/2018 16:10

Ooo what a good idea.
I might get it now too

IIIustriouslyIllogical · 10/04/2018 16:16

I like tattoos like that - it's a useful indicator of who to avoid....

CynthiaRothrock · 10/04/2018 16:31

Going against the grain here and going to say you are not unreasonable to be annoyed. No you don't own the tattoo but that ontop of other things gets really fing annoying really quickly. I had a an ex friend who used do the same and it wore me down. She had zero personality of her own. I decorated my living room...carpets/walls/curtains everything 3weeks later i go to hers for coffe and she has the decorators in...... her living room was identical to mine by the end of the week!
I would feed her false information ie if the dcs start a new dance class tell her its teakwondo etc. As for the alcohol get a shed load of leaflets from AA and alike and everytime she tries it..give her a leaflet x.

Littleredboat · 10/04/2018 16:39

Right, I’ve come back to say sorry for being so rude earlier. It’s not my thing but it’s also none of my business.

PinkCalluna · 10/04/2018 16:46

DH is an alcoholic, she tries to give him alcohol at every event because she thinks its unhealthy to deny yourself alcohol and theres no such thing as alcohol addiction.

This is appalling and would be a good reason for keeping contact minimal.

It also changes the complexion of your OP.

It’s hard to know whether she’s just brainless or whether she’s actively malicious. Either way I’d be keeping contact to unavoidable family occasions and telling her very little about my life.

SirGawain · 10/04/2018 17:08

Okay I see I'm being unreasonable about the tattoo, my judgement is obviously clouded by her previous behaviour.
Thought so. Start of a massive drip feed!

eggcellent · 10/04/2018 17:14

I'd be annoyed by this. In a way it could make your DH's feel less special, which isn't nice. I'd probably confront her just to watch her squirm, though there's not much that can be done about it now

Ohyesiam · 10/04/2018 17:20

You do sound a bit bored op. Just take the focus off her life, you will never stop her doing any of it, so just set it aside.
Try and focus more on things you do want in your last life.

NameChangedAndForgotOldName · 10/04/2018 17:27

I paid to have a tattoo designed for me, it means something to me.
Someone put it on Pinterest and now other people have it and it comes up on google if you type in the kind if tattoo it is.

That's copying.

Original poster

upsideup · 10/04/2018 19:54

Out of interest, is your OH bothered and does he know you have so much festering negativity towards his sister?

Both of us are annoyed, its annoying and just yet another thing to add to the list of things she has to done to compete with him.
I find her annoying, I find her quite suffocating and difficult to be around but I dont hate her, I have really tried to be nice to her and I have never once raised any issue with her, it always comes from her side. DH avoids her as much as possible with her because of the alcohol issue, he feels a lot more negatively towards her than I do. We both keep up contact for our children and her children.

OP posts:

TooTrueToBeGood · 11/04/2018 08:33

Well you're probably never going to change her and like her or not she's part of your lives and always will be. Best thing you can do is try and not let yourself get so worked up over her annoying habits. Think of it like this. She doesn't actually make you feel anything. She doesn't make you feel angry or annoyed or anything else. You choose to feel that way, albeit subconsciously, in response to her actions. With thought and practice you can choose to feel some other way, from indifferent to possibly even positive. Sounds close to ridiculous the first time someone proposes that but it is very doable and you win in the long run because currently you're the one suffering the most from these negative emotions.

Lweji · 11/04/2018 08:40

Ask yourselves. What is she competing for? It's nothing worth competing for.

Even her attitude towards alcohol is probably to feel better about herself.

Deal with her when she actually affects you (ringing because of a name, for example), but I don't see how getting a similar tattoo or going to the same holiday place is worth any head space.
You should help your OH deal with his childhood bagage, not make it worse.

oblada · 11/04/2018 08:47

It's an awfully tacky tattoo!! But even if it was a good idea I don't see how it's worth being annoyed over.

AjasLipstick · 11/04/2018 09:10

NameChange I promise you...you're not the first person to think of your tattoo.

ADHDAdult · 11/04/2018 12:39

And a two year olds scribble....

What looks to you as scribble, looks to her mum as a work of art.

That comment alone shows your dislike of her. So don't associate with her then!

You sound extremely bitchy!

If she's offering an alcoholic drinks, then keep away from her! Why on earth would you associate with her? Doing that is like offering an oxygen dependent person a lit cigarette whilst they're using oxygen! You'd just go, they don't have my best interests at heart, don't care for my welfare, I'm not seeing them again.

You sound about 12!

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