I'm trans, may I ask you a favour? Its about trans phobia.

[PeanutButterSquash]

I've been trans for more than half of my life and was one of the first in my part of the UK to get a GRC (over ten years ago!).
I have unfortunately experienced transphobic attacks (from physical attacks that hospitalized me to career damaging bullying and lower level bullying too) many times in my life though I admit it gets less and less year on year.
Trans phobia can take many many forms and doesn't yet have a defined legal position (something I think should change).
Here are a few things that aren't trans phobic.

Being respectfully gender critical
Disagreeing with self ID.
Disagreeing with self ID'ing men in women's spaces (and vice versa).
Disagreeing with transwomen competing in female only sports (due to biological disadvantage) are a few things that I note are called transphobic here.
Respectful debate isn't transphobic. Disagreement isn't transphobic.
I think calling "transphobia" over any sign of disagreement, debate or gender critical beliefs is actually more harmful to me and people like me.
will anyone take trans phobia seriously if this is all it takes to be called a transphobe?

Aibu to ask that you do that favour for me, and stop shouting transphobia (on or offline) at gender critical feminists?

Thank you. Feel free to respond and as ever you can disagree with me.

Oh yeah MrsTerry, no doubt it has the same silencing effect as the word "racist" during the Brexit lead-up. And that didn't help anybody on either side as it simply meant the discussion couldn't be aired.

BUT (and it is a big but) I don't think we should go too far the other way either. It isn't always not transphobia. Sometimes it might be, and people should be allowed to call it like they see it too; that shouldn't be forbidden either!

So as I've said before, I completely agree we should all think long and hard before calling something out as transphobic so as to not dilute the meaning of the word. But people should be allowed to raise it as an interpretation too, so long as they're prepared to justify it.

I'll add as well that we should all regularly examine our own prejudices. We should never be complacent in that regard.

Doesn't sound transphobic to me CircleSquare. Did they give you an explanation? Perhaps they felt there was something in the context? Oh well, I guess they're not here to defend their reasoning.

Yanbu. Thanks for this post OP.

Sorry to hear you've suffered so much over the years. Hopefully there will be sensible new legislation that helps people like you but that is thought through from the pov of everyone's safely. I realise this won't stop.violent bigots but it might be a start.

I'm sure people like you who have struggled through so much aren't helped by some of the aggressive attitudes that have sadly come to the fore recently.

Thank you OP!!

Thank you OP. If we can have people telling us how terrible we are for opposing self ID there is surely room for consideration of how inflexible, aggressive and uncompromising transactivism potentially can hurt both trans people and women.

I tend to stay off the threads on this topic as they make me angry. I've always treated people as they want to be treated, I've seen a transwoman in tears because someone used the wrong pronoun. It's the idea prevalent on here that all transwomen are potential rapists.

Rat
The context was we had a massive group of women who came together for larger meetings but we often went off in smaller groups on a weekly basis. One group I was involved with talked about birth and motherhood, another small group specifically got to talking and birth injuries. All groups (and there was a real variety) would usually report back at the bigger meetings about the biggest topics - especially anything we thought was important to campaign about - and the topic we spoke about that time was birth injuries. I was told, midway through giving a medicalised summary of the impact of some injuries, that I was not centering transwomen in my feminism, that I was being exclusionary and being a woman isn’t about vaginas. I politely replied that transwoman cannot have birth injuries by the very nature of being transwomen and that they were letting down the majority of women in the group by silencing me. It escalated from there, I was called a transphobe, a TERF and all sorts and it became really quite nasty.

And by they I meant the person shutting me up.

It's the idea prevalent on here that all transwomen are potential rapists.

Or alternatively that the feelings and concerns and boundaries of women and girls count as well?

Thanks @Peanut. It always astonishes me that questioning is shouted down as bigotry when surely shutting down debate is the closed minded option.

Being shouted at pushes people away and polarises debate. I was told recently (online, by a man) that male violence is less of a problem in society than women saying that there is a difference between women and trans women. It's just mental.

Seeing biology isn't transphobic. Violent men are amongst those who genuinely are transphobic but this violence is often painted as somehow being women's fault.

The feminist position that sex is biology and gender is a hierarchical construct to be abolished benefits women, men and all those who identify as trans.

Love to you OP.

PeanutButterSquash, you are a total champ. Thank you for this thoughtful, intelligent and concise post.

Well, of course they do, Ereshkigal. I just don't think you can tar all people who happen to have one thing in common with the same brush. My adult child is not a threat to anyone, but women who meet him might assume he was because of the way he looks. I would hope we could treat people as individuals.

It's the idea prevalent on here that all transwomen are potential rapists.

The argument is far more nuanced than that. I've seen it written repeatedly that people on here know not all transwomen are potential rapists and that most are just trying to keep their heads down and live their lives. A minority of predatory men mess things up for trans people though. That is the population we are speaking up about.

The debate on here isn't really about trans people at all, when it boils down to it. It's about the safety and spaces of women and what protections and rights we can expect.

It's the idea prevalent on here that all transwomen are potential rapists.

Citation needed.

I’ve not seen anyone saying that at all.
What I have seen people saying is that self ID allows people who are ‘chancers’ put on a frock and waltz into female only spaces knowing that anyone who questions them will be afraid of being called a transphobe.

fern
The people in my subgroups but the activists (who eventually ended up taking over the group until most people reached peak trans and it fell apart) really went for me. I was pregnant at the time and didn’t have the strength to be arsed with going back.

We have to keep hammering “what about women and girls?”

Those threads feel transphobic. I'm trying to understand, really I am, I feel like my DC's terminally ill and very frail, and now has these feelings to deal with as well. I know I'm an overprotective mother, but he does bring that out in me.

circle

Sorry you felt the need to explain yourself on here

You were told you were being transphobic for talking about womens vaginal birth injuries

That was explanation itself

I'm sorry to hear about your DC Perfectly. What would you like women like us to do? This is a good faith question.

And trans people like the OP, to keep to the point of the thread.

Best trans post ever!

for all the shit you've been through

@Circle

Talking about birth injuries is definitely not transphobic. Those trans activists who try to silence women in that way certainly don't act in my name as a transwoman.

Yet

It's clear that some activists/allies want to make it so that women are unable to discuss these important issues which pertain to our sexed bodies, even in female centred spaces. I can also imagine a future where transsexuals are told not to speak about SRS because it "others" non binary people and non dysphoric trans people. I've definitely seen people mention the idea of "binary privilege" on tumblr/twitter.

yetanothertranswoman

Oh I know that! They totally devalue any notion of transphobia. I believe transphobia should be as much of a crime as racism and homophobic attacks but it the idea that it can be allow to be seen as anything even mildly critical or speaking biologically sound truth is frustrating in the extreme. I can’t imagine how disheartening you and OP must find it to be aligned with people who make a mockery of trans people with their faux trans agenda.