My Australian MIL

[WS12]

So I just wondered AIBU to be peed off with my MIL, or am I just being precious...

I am from the UK, born and bred in northeast England. Met my DH there who is Australian and got married had kids, lived there together for 7 years. Then we moved to Aus in 2016.

I get so annoyed at the digs all the time from my Australian MIL (culture clash I think) about England (she always loved visiting us though and came regularly often twice a year!).

Yesterday she said she was concerned about my DHs health when we lived there as he was always ill with cold ... ummm 60 million people manage to live here just fine....

Tonight's digs are (she's staying with us for three nights). Out potato peeler is old fashioned and she will bring me a new one "I'm going to bring you a new peeler. This peeler is so old fashioned. This is from England" and I said it actually isn't it's from Woolworths...

Second dig. My son is receiving speech therapy to help his clairity and sounds. She asked if it was to help him learn to speak Australian. I could've punched her. She isn't saying it nastily, but it's like she just doesn't think of how offensive that actually is to me as a native English speaker.

My DH says she has no filter, like the rest of his family. She still also insists we have a ghost in our house.

👊👊👊👊 I feel like moving back to England just to piss her off.

Cultural differences. My MIL was Dutch and I hated the lack of filter. I’m not the hugest fan of the Australian culture. Aussie woman on post natal ward with me and she kept intruding on other new mums asking what was wrong with their baby (we all had higher dependency babies or had sections). Worked with many Aussies in UK and found themsimilar to the Dutch. I prefer good British manners I’m afraid

Just dropping by to mention I really enjoy reading about patriotism, since I live in a country with no patriotism whatsoever!

Nah the Dutch culture is nothing like Australians - even I find the Dutch too blunt!

My boss is a Scot & we are very similar culturally. We cheerfully take the piss out of each other. Both forriners, you see

no ruby a Scot is not a 'forriner' , in fact nor is an Aussie really, Sorry.

Must be that magic “swanning in” visa that you mentioned!

must be, yeh.

I don't know about swedes and norwegians, but danes are probably one of the least patriotic countries - the only reason you see so many danish flags, because we use them when its someones Birthday there arr laws forbidding disrespecting other Nations flags, but we can burn our own
We do love the story about how we got the flag though

Ruby i do agree the Dutch are in a league of their own for bad manners. Lots that I like about the Dutch but their lack good grace trussed up as good ‘ole honesty I detest

tell us, oh Danish one, how you got your flag?

Danes do have something to be proud about, uniquely in Europe....

MIL moved here twenty years ago and still slags off England. Apparently English people are rude, violent, have dirty houses and aren’t good employees.

And yet her son married one. Fancy that.

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

Americantan you're generalising regarding the Aussies you've known.

I grew up in Australia and had a barrage of Australia is the best, much better than cold, cramped, dirty, dangerous Britain. One of my. Primary teachers was particularly adept at it and singled out all the Poms for his xenophobia

Oh yesssss

I got regularly duffed up in the playground simply for the way I talked when I first arrived. Apparently I was up myself and thought I was better than everyone else simply because of my accent.

Well, at least my family were free settlers and not convicts.

Australians in the 1960s & 70s were appalling reverse snobs. Now they just take down anyone they think gets too uppity. Google "tall poppy syndrome."

degust of course I am but i can only base my view on my experience. Not just the woman in the hospital but an Australian employer in the Uk with an Australian Management team.

Thanks everyone for your replies and your perspective on my MIL.

I think she does like to criticise the UK and she is probably worried deep down that we could go back - she knows I get really home sick.

I find some of it very funny, and just bite my tongue when it's said. But her comment about my DS who still have a mix of Aussie and Northeast wasn't a joke. She genuinely asked if he was having therapy to help him speak with an Australian accent... the mind boggles 😂. All the criticism about the weather and my DH always having cold, I said he was just soft and my MIL burst out laughing, so maybe I am looking for insult when non is intended. I grew up near the north sea so my DH is a big softy, can't handle 10c ha ha 🤣.... but yea I am now picking on the aussies LoL. I love it here though and can see so many more oppounities. That's one thing my FIL asked, can I see how life here is better for my children. And I genuinely answered yes. That's a bit more of a grown up convo I recon!

My DHs whole family are so weird though. Like really weird. I realise now 18months into our move that I never really knew them before. My SIL thinks she is in contact with aliens and that they took her to see their gone planet, she also sees ghosts, my MIL is also 'psychic' 😭 The list just goes on. My FIL is lovely and very very 'normal' and down to earth.

My FIL is lovely and very very 'normal' and down to earth.

Down to 'earth'? Well there you have it. He's the alien overlord of the entire family.

😂😂😂

It's insane. One DH is one of 7 children, and he is the most normal, and even he is a bit 🙃🤣

Put on your big girl pants and tell her it upsets you. I’m Australian and I watch my dad do this to my English husband. My dad does not mean anything by it - it’s just his bad sense of humour and it doesn’t bother my hubby. But if it bothers you - tell her adult to adult. It’s likely she doesn’t realise it’s upsetting you.

My DH*

I might not say anything as it isn't all the time. Trust me she will be offended that I'm offended.

Could you say in a wistful tone "all your comments about England are making me long to go back there." Then look thoughtful.

The family sounds, erm, unusual. My friend's MIL believes in aliens. My friend went along with it until one day she overheard MIL telling her children that her husband wasn't actually their grandfather as an alien had fathered him. "That means you children are descended from aliens, too." The kids were 4 and 6 at the time.

I love Scandis.

My dad says all this shit as I live in Liverpool and he lives in the south. It does grate a bit but I bite my tongue.

Just give it back to her. Jokes about her criminal past (convict background - especially if they're wearing stripey clothes), lack of appreciation for history, lack of culture, ('this from someone from a county that comes to a stand still because a few horses run' - Melbourne cup).

If they're in Sydney, compare it unfavorably to Melbourne, or vice versa, Adelaide- murder capital of the world, city noone seems to ever get to in a holiday, Queensland - their idea of dressing formally is having ironed jeans, Perth - too isolated from the rest of Australia to even be a part of it, really (same as Tasmania, plus everybody being relatedto everyone else).

You could read some famous Australian books etc and say 'what sort of Aussie are you?' When she invariably hasn't read it. - Man from Snowy River, Town Like Alice, anything by Banjo Patterson or CJ Dennis,

Oh you could have so much fun with her!!!

My DH loves Man from snowy river 😂