My Australian MIL

[WS12]

So I just wondered AIBU to be peed off with my MIL, or am I just being precious...

I am from the UK, born and bred in northeast England. Met my DH there who is Australian and got married had kids, lived there together for 7 years. Then we moved to Aus in 2016.

I get so annoyed at the digs all the time from my Australian MIL (culture clash I think) about England (she always loved visiting us though and came regularly often twice a year!).

Yesterday she said she was concerned about my DHs health when we lived there as he was always ill with cold ... ummm 60 million people manage to live here just fine....

Tonight's digs are (she's staying with us for three nights). Out potato peeler is old fashioned and she will bring me a new one "I'm going to bring you a new peeler. This peeler is so old fashioned. This is from England" and I said it actually isn't it's from Woolworths...

Second dig. My son is receiving speech therapy to help his clairity and sounds. She asked if it was to help him learn to speak Australian. I could've punched her. She isn't saying it nastily, but it's like she just doesn't think of how offensive that actually is to me as a native English speaker.

My DH says she has no filter, like the rest of his family. She still also insists we have a ghost in our house.

👊👊👊👊 I feel like moving back to England just to piss her off.

I think you may be taking this a bit too much to heart.

I’m from SA and the UK’s cold weather is seen as a huge drawback and the subject of much discussion when I speak to replies back home. People genuinely struggle to see how people manage and I’ve known of loads of saffers who’ve gone to Australia because they couldn’t cope with it.

Unless she’s a sniper person normally, I think you’re drawing inference where there is none. I don’t understand your reaction to the speech language thing. How is it offensive? Genuinely. Is she not also a native English speaker?

I think you should wind MIL up in return. Get that book "Larn yersel' Geordie", and tell her you're using it for your son's elocution lessons...!
Tell her that endless barbecued prawns cannot compare with stotty kyek and singing hinnies. And that, while Oz has droughts and skin cancer, the fog on the Tyne is all yours. And that Newky broon is way better than Fosters. Gan on - I dare you!

Babdoc I am in awe of your impressive linguistic skills. Are you the author of the Sid the Sexist strip in Viz?

Kockabrising My goodness are we leading parallel lives?

What's offensive about what she said though? I think you're being over sensitive

I’m from SA and the UK’s cold weather is seen as a huge drawback and the subject of much discussion when I speak to replies back home. People genuinely struggle to see how people manage and I’ve known of loads of saffers who’ve gone to Australia because they couldn’t cope with it.

I'm Irish and Irish people are constantly complaining about the weather over here so it makes perfect sense for an Aussie to find the weather this side of the world horrendous

Babdoc I am in awe of your impressive linguistic skills. Are you the author of the Sid the Sexist strip in Viz?

Clearly not as there was no leering or misogyny in her (?) post.

I think this is normal of anywhere which isn’t your home country. I got it in France, Spain etc. People were convinced that we eat marmalade with roast beef, that the weather is relentlessly shit-they’re not wrong about that, really!

I think it’s even present within the U.K., especially the north/south divide thing. I live at the opposite end to where I was born and the inverse snobbery about the other end is rife.

isnt everyone like this? convinced that their country is 'the best'?
Australians are quite chippy about the UK, i have heard it all from them, even when they are taking advantage of our generous visa rules, it is still shite apparently....
Whatever..
I would probably think Australia was shite if i tried to live there...

Kockabrising My goodness are we leading parallel lives?

Maybe we share a husband..? living parallel lives, unaware...

It seems to be a Swedish thing - total belief that their way is best regardless. I once mentioned what we ate for Christmas dinner in a sort of ‘isn’t it lovely to have different traditions!’ Way and was treated to a stony silence because apparently that was offensive to Julbord. MIL gets snippy at any mention of Britishness which pisses me off immensely because my son is half British and will damn well celebrate British holidays!! She doesn’t half love midsomer murders...

They are nuts. The British can at least have a good laugh about things that are shit in Britain while still remaining quite fond of old Blighty.

If you see my husband tell him we are almost out of milk...

I’m from SA and the UK’s cold weather is seen as a huge drawback and the subject of much discussion

I am often on the phone with someone from SA (centurion?) and she works from home - I can always hear these lovely birds chirping away in the background. You can practically hear the sunshine
She recoils in horror when I describe the weather (yeah still snow, dark at 1:30om today Glenda...yeah I’d love to visit one day, you’re welcome here too...bring a sweater..)

honestly i don't know why people think that weather is so important.
I mean the way that white South Africans feel they have to live these days? I would say that the weather is the least of their problems tbh.

isnt everyone like this? convinced that their country is 'the best'?

I think this is often the source of the problem - as being English, we don't go on about our Country being best (you might say how Yorkshire was vastly superior to anywhere else or Cornwall..). We tend to be self-deprecating if anything. But then when others criticise it seems incredibly rude.

Just ask her what the difference is between Australia and a live yoghurt.

The yoghurt's got more culture.

Ithenkyew

This Swedish thing is prevalent in Norway too. I had the misfortune to live there for a short time. Anyway, one friend is married to a Norwegian woman. He was repeatedly asked upon moving there; ‘So, when are the rest of your family moving over?’. Upon questioning them they all said basically the UK is shit and now you have married a Noggie all your lucky relatives can move here and avail themselves of our wondrous country.

Totally barmy. Eventually he snapped at one big family dinner and let it be known his family had zero interest in living in Norway and the only reason he was here was his wife. Scandis, eh.

Sorry for adding to the derailment OP.

My hairdresser is married to an Australian and they spend 3-4 weeks there every other year. She gets all this stuff from her Australian MIL, including such gems as "I suppose your kids read so much because there's nothing else to do in England, with the weather being so bad".

She's there at the moment, and I'm looking forward to hearing the latest instalment when I get my hair cut next week.

I though Babdock did rather well. Reminded me of my mum and grandparents (and my great aunty).

Eeeeeeeeeeeee, hinny!

Thanks for the appreciation! For the record, no, I don’t write for Viz - but my family were Geordies for at least seven generations (back to 1740). Sadly I was born in exile in London, so I don’t have the lovely accent! Just couldn’t resist the temptation to suggest some leg pulling of the Ozzie MIL...!

Oh take it from me - I got dragged out to Australia as a child, couldn't wait to get back home - Australians don't really like the English. Long troubled history & they have a chip a plank on their shoulders about the English.

Hi OP, welcome to the Antipodes

I live in NZ, not Australia, but I do recognise your problem. Generally it's a difference in humour. English humour is generally self-depreciating. That can be a confusing to a lot of Australians and Kiwis because they take it at face value and then find English people getting offended when - as far as they're concerned - they're just agreeing.

Moreisnnogedag I find this is true for South Africans too.

Aus / NZ humour is more about taking the piss out of each other. It's also a test of strength, to see if you take yourself too seriously, and English people can fail it - not because they do - but because they feel themselves attacked, when the expected response is a smile and a reciprocal pisstake, preferably witty. It can be tricky because the first impression I still sometimes feel after well over a decade here is that it's cruel - but I have to remember that it's not intended as such.

Sometimes the banter can touch upon things that aren't funny at all and are really quite personal, but in my experience, this is generally the case among people who know each other very well, and it's an unintentional affirmation of the closeness of their relationship.

Australians and NZers are in my experience well-disposed to English people, as long as they aren't, in their view "up themselves", and the best way to avoid that impression is to join in the banter.

A good example of UK / Aus differences is the Ashes tour, when Piers Morgan accused the English batsmen of cowardice, and the former Australian bowler Brett Lee challenged him to face 6 balls in the nets. Morgan - well into his 50s - ended with a broken rib, as I recall.

From the English perspective (and probably Morgan's too) he'd proved his point by facing Lee, was therefore not a coward, and was able to laugh at his poor batting technique. From the Australian perspective, Morgan was a twat for slamming the English batsmen, and made himself look even more of a twat when he faced Lee in the nets: the joke was on him. Morgan was being self-depreciating and Lee joined in.

DullAndOld, pray tell, what overly generous visas are you referring to?

the ones that give Aussies freedom to come and live and work here, while if a Brit is over 26 they can forget any kind of working visa.

Then when they get here, all they do is complain about the dull weather and the warm beer.(among other things ) mean they KNEW that before they came right? Its like me going to Queensland and complaining that it's too hot and the beer is too cold...:)

And then they have the cheek to call us 'whinging Poms'..:) I have never heard anyone whinge like an Aussie in London tbh.

Emilia I believe it may be the dailymailgenerousvisa.

i dont read the Daily Mail, thank you BringMeTea...:) I am merely reporting what i have observed.

Though I do agree with Dull in that there are many whingeing Aussies. But I kinda love them.

X post.

I am Australian. Your MIL is a twat. Tell her she looks like a 'bogan' by 'mistake'.