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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset?

86 replies

Smokedcheesenham · 10/04/2018 01:10

I went on a night out with friends and their boyfriends. One of the girls who I am very close to is model stunning and tanned and beautiful. I am pretty but have gained weight, shorterand was feeling insecure. I might have heard wrong but think I overheard her new boyfriend telling her how she was the best of the group? Ie me and my girlfriends, her closest friends. While it goes without saying he would think this, I think it’s low to pit us against each other when it’s just a fun night.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 10/04/2018 01:12

That’s a crap thing to overhear. No one needs that. I wouldn’t want to go out with a man who was that careless with my friends feelings or rated women against each other in that way.

In a way she deserves a little sympathy because she’s with a douchebag who expresses himself like that.

Beauty comes in many different forms.

Original poster
Smokedcheesenham · 10/04/2018 01:13

He’s a really nice guy so I was shocked. I’m really hoping I heard wrong

OP posts:
FuckItPassMeTheWine · 10/04/2018 01:15

I wouldn't worry about it, it's the sort of the thing that couples say to each other, I often say that my DP is the best looking man in the room and to me he is . It's her partner , he should think that. You sound a bit pissed at the comment , maybe focus on losing the weight you mentioned you'd gained so you feel better about yourself and more confident? Xx

Daifuku9 · 10/04/2018 01:20

It was overheard and not meant for you to hear, he said it to her. You are worrying about nothing.
If he was making sure you heard, then I would agree he was rude and/or trying to “pit” you “against one another.”

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 10/04/2018 01:27

Man tells partner she's the best shocker!!!

I should bloody well think so too! He's not "pitting you against each other" - he's not interested in any of you! It's not a competition, he loves his girlfriend.

YABVU

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 10/04/2018 01:31

Would you have preferred him to tell her you are hotter? Seems you have a vanity issue

ReanimatedSGB · 10/04/2018 01:36

An awful lot of couples like to tell each other, or hear from each other, stuff along the lines of 'You are the sexiest person in the room.' Unless he was addressing his remarks to everyone, then YABU to mind. It wasn't about you, it was about him saying something nice to his partner.

Shizzlestix · 10/04/2018 01:36

Yabu. Totally normal for someone to tell their partner he/she is the most gorgeous one. I don’t understand why you think this is odd/hurtful?

Copperbonnet · 10/04/2018 01:42

It seems an odd thing to be upset about.

It’s just a man flattering his girlfriend. It’s a perfectly ordinary thing to say.

I’ve certainly told my DH in the past that he’s the best looking man in the room (and so he is!)

It’s just a silly, flirty little “sweet nothing”. I’m not “piting him against his friends” when I say it. Hmm

Without being harsh I think your upset stems from your own insecurity on the night. He didn’t do anything wrong.

flowerslemonade · 10/04/2018 01:45

He was just probably trying to be nice to her, I wouldn't worry about it.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 10/04/2018 01:45

YABU. He did nothing wrong.

MissP103 · 10/04/2018 05:46

Grow up. You overheard something that was perfectly normal to say to his girlfriend. Your description of your friend and insecurity makes you the one comparing your friends to each other not him.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 10/04/2018 05:49

Do you think the chap is going to say to his new gf "smokedcheese...is so much hotter than you" hahahahaha

Olicity17 · 10/04/2018 05:53

You are upset that your friends boyfriend, thinks she is more attractive than the rest of the group?

Of course he does. Why would you want him to not think that?

ADarkandStormyKnight · 10/04/2018 05:54

Maybe she is very insecure about her looks and wanted reassurance from him? Being a model might make her feel vulnerable as she is always around women who are competing with her on that basis.

she's probably really hard work

Psychobabble123 · 10/04/2018 05:57

Bloody hell, you really need to get a grip. You are massively unreasonable to be upset that your friends boyfriend told her that she was the best looking!

gamerwidow · 10/04/2018 06:25

It's just a man complimenting his girlfriend. He is supposed to think she is the hottest. I do agree that it's bad form that it was done in ear shot though.
What would have been out of order is if your partner or one of the other women's partners had said your friend was the hottest in the group.

Shoxfordian · 10/04/2018 06:28

He's just complimenting her
I know you think she's really hot but it doesn't mean she doesn't have her own insecurities. He might have been trying to boost her confidence.

Joey7t8 · 10/04/2018 06:38

Are you used to having always been the hottest one in the group before you put on the weight? It certainly isn’t reasonable to be upset that a man finds his girlfriend/wife more attractive than you.

OakIsBetterTho · 10/04/2018 06:43

Don't be so bloody daft. He didn't stand up and announce it, you overhead. Grow up a bit

NerrSnerr · 10/04/2018 06:49

What do you expect him to say to her 'sorry love but you're not as fit as your friends'??

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 10/04/2018 06:52

Confused he didn’t “pit you against each other”, he made a perfectly normal comment to his girlfriend. He didn’t have you parade in front of him and mark you all out of 10 Hmm

Glug44 · 10/04/2018 06:56

My dh says this to me too. It wasn’t a comment on you but something private between them. Let it go.

thebewilderness · 10/04/2018 06:59

Men like to judge women. They call it a compliment when it is actually a male dominance display.
That nice guy isn't a nice guy which I suspect your friend is probably figuring out from remarks like that.

MyBoysAndI · 10/04/2018 07:03

You are being utterly ridiculous.

Only reason l can possibly think you're so upset is because you actually want him.