AIBU to feel like I'm being harassed by my neighbour?

[Greypaw]

I live in the arse-end of nowhere, in a tiny hamlet of about ten houses. It's very rural, and the houses are mainly old farm buildings that were converted long ago. My house has been here for about 150 years on the edge of the hamlet, and there is a bit of land in front of it, which is essentially my front garden. I have one drive which goes from the road, through my front garden to the side of the house, and another drive that goes from the road to the back of the house.

A few houses away from mine is the house of a guy who has a history of making complaints about my property. This predates me living here, and I have paperwork that shows him doing this on several occasions over the years. Since I moved here I've kept my head well down. None of my property borders his. He has one small window overlooking a miniscule part of the drive through my back garden, but that's it - the rest of the property and gardens he can't see.

However he's taken to writing complaints to the council about my property, and has been involving people from nearby villages in these communications. These seem to focus on alleged breaches of planning rules. He seems to like doing this as when I looked on the local planning site for this hamlet, there were quite a few letters from him objecting to one thing or another, but at the moment he seems to have a real bee in his bonnet about my front garden and driveway.

About three or four years ago (before I bought the place), it seems he claimed my drive had been installed without permission, but the case was closed with no further action to be taken. I think this is because it's sited on an old farm track that was always used to access parts of the property, so wasn't new, but had fallen into disuse, become overgrown and wasn't visible except for the dropped kerb. The previous owners then resurfaced it which is when he complained. After that it went quiet (at least on that issue - he was feuding with other neighbours during that time), but over the last six months he's really been going for it with this drive, collecting evidence etc. It's the range of things he's done that's made me feel harassed. In brief, these are what those things are, and the only reason I know about them is because he's written to the council listing all this stuff:

• Conducted several "site visits" along with other people locally to ask their opinion and get them to write to the council too (there is no footpath outside the house and the road is a very busy national speed limit road, so he'd have to come into my front garden to do this). I had no knowledge that these had taken place.
• Monitored my use of both my drives to see how often I use each one (I have no idea how he can do this with the front drive as there is no way he can see it).
• Monitored who comes and goes over my front garden drive, in terms of whether they are workmen, residents, visitors etc.
• Stated he has seen vans queuing on the drive to get on the property, creating a danger on the highway (this isn't true, but he's taken a photo of a workman's van that was parked on the drive to "prove" it)
• Tracked down the owner of the house from over 50 years ago to ask them to write a letter stating whether the drive was there then.
• Stated the drive is too confusing for visitors who often take the wrong turning in trying to find my property (how would he know this? How?)

All these things he's put in letters to the council, and urged others in nearby villages to do the same. I know he's also talked to the residents of the hamlet to tell them my drive is illegal and try to get them involved (they have declined)

For my part, I've had a site visit from the council and been told everything is fine, but he's still going.

I know it's fine to raise an issue with the council if he's worried about something, but AIBU to feel harassed at this level of surveillance and reporting?

I'd take completely the other tack - as he's not contacted you directly.

I'd invite him to tea, in a -getting-to-know-the-neighbours sort of way.

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer! It'll totally disarm him.

The only way you ever win a neighbour battle like this is to Let It Go. The moment you allow him under your skin and escalate it, things get ugly.

Right now he is having precisely zero impact on your life, especially if you stop checking the planning portal and smile and change the topic when people tell you he's been ranting at them. Keep it that way. Let him stand out with a clipboard and log the vehicles going up and down the road - who cares? Who even cares if he brings others from the village onto your drive to rant at them? What's the problem, really? The moment you start caring about it, he starts to win his little game: and he has more time and more money than you to play it.

Seriously. The ONLY way to win. Let it go.

Lidl have a wildlife camera at the moment:
www.lidl.co.uk/en/Non-Food-Offers.htm?articleId=11825

I agree with the PPs who suggested CCTV - also if you can't stretch electricity down to the beginning of the driveway, how about a wireless camera or even a fake one with a light fed by battery, next to a Do Not Trespass sign?

I'm not sure sending a solicitor's letter is a good idea as that may escalate it in his eyes and you could find yourselves involved with paying out heavy legal fees.

If he can see onto your property from his, what about planting some fast growing trees/shrubs to block his view?

The other major problem is that if/when you come to sell your property, any problems with neighbours are now legally required to be mentioned to potential purchasers. Were you made aware of the problem when you bought your house?

I agree that the best thing to do is not react to anything he does, which will give him no ammunition to scale up his behaviour. Just try to block him out of your life.

Good luck OP.

All good advice, thanks. I haven’t heard back from the solicitor yet, but there was another visit from the planning department today. Chap seemed confused, said everything looked fine and he couldn’t see what the issue would be, then went away. Really hoping that’s the end of it for the time being.

Sounds like he is using the planning department to harass you. I don't understand if the planning department have already declared your drives are legal why aren't they telling to stop and that there is no 'case' for you or them to look at.

The ring doorbell company do a wireless cctv camera. You can set it to be motion sensitive and send you alerts.

I don't necessarily recommend this, but a friend who experienced similar started placing rumours about even more outrageous things than were being claimed. Her front garden would be used for a mobile fish and chip van, her large garage was to be converted to housing for asylum seekers, she hoped to hold regular "movie nights" for the village in her garden and so on

The whole thing eventually tipped her stalker so far over the edge that her local council took out some sort of injunction, leading to him moving away. Probably not the best idea on the whole, but at least she had some fun with it along the way ...

*Shiftymcgrifty
*
Let’s not make up stuff, eh?

Yeah, that's what happened.

I've got an Arlo CCTV camera.
Battery operated and it connects wirelessly to a hub inside the house. I've set it up to receive alerts in real time on my phone. This can be annoying at times, mainly when XDH collects the children for contact and they go in and out of the house like yo-yos). But I'm sure I could silence the alerts if I wanted to. It has a really good range - right across my cul de sac so I'd have thought it would extend to your front gates.
My system with 3 cameras cost £400. I'm sure you must be able to buy them with just 1 camera.
The quality is amazing as well. Not grainy but really clear.

So sorry to hear this OP . I'm doubting hold get a restraining order but it might be worth enquiring about a non-molestation order. Also?, can you put up cheap CCTV and a sign warning trespassers about being on private land?

A PP is correct. He is using the council to harass you. I think either you or your solicitor needs to write to the planning department and tell them that this is how you feel. Offer them a one off visit to check all is in order and after that you will be getting litigious with the council. That is more likely to make them shut HIM down. Locking horns with him would bring a whole new level of wankery to your life that you can well do without but the personnel at planning enforcement should know better than keep visiting you FFS! If the enforcement officer can see what he/she needs to see from outside your property to satisfy the complaint, they are not meant to come onto your land.

OP, contrary to everything everyone else has said, I would ignore him. The complaints are all to the council and you haven't personally received them. So if he hasn't intruded - in a way that you could non-confrontationally block, like locks or shielding from view - then I would leave it.

I used to work in a statutory body and we would have "frequent flyers" who complained constantly. Yes, it's horrible to be on the receiving end. But at the end of the day, it's not personal to you, it's personal to them. They have to be constantly complaining. I had over a hundred complaints from one chap, and when I investigated two businesses he complained about, I found that he had about 20 more for each one that had been escalated to me. Towards the end of one investigation process he was sectioned for a few weeks. That's not unusual with high conflict frequent complainers. He was well off too. I'm going to guess that your complainer has similarly no job and lots of time to complain due to retirement/ill health. (In my experience, male retirees are the mostly likely to complain repeatedly and wage these kind of campaigns, and least likely to listen to someone telling them their complaint has no basis. I once explained kindly to someone why he had to abide by the contract he had signed two years previously and couldn't change his mind two years in when he'd already had the use of the thing for two years, and I got a furious letter back accusing me of conspiracy to defraud him and he would see me in court.)

Grey rock it. Ignore him. Engaging in his campaign of conflict isn't going to decrease your stress load, and as they say - the pig likes it.

Edit: to be clearer, I meant mental health issues, from cluster B personality disorders to dementia to the more serious acute MH illnesses, aren't unusual with frequent complainers.

It seems likely that your complainer is one of them.

Oh dear op, I have had very similar and it is a certain type of man. I have had eighteen years of this behaviour from a neighbour, who is a second home owner - his primary home is in the Cotswolds. He complains because we put in a hedge which he claims blocks his view of a landmark (it does in part). He complains when the hedge is low and when it is high. The truth is he doesn't want the hedge there and nothing we can do will ever be enough and we have spent hundreds appeasing him.

He complains about us to the Council as well. What he doesn't say is that he does not own the land in front of his house so is not entitled to a view or rights across that. After that is my land and he desires a view across my private garden. After that are a row of huge trees with preservation orders which(when in leaf) block his desired view. Before we bought the house, a huge wall blocked his view. For about 4 weeks a year that he is here he wants me to chop down my hedge and take away all my privacy so he can peer into my house and behave oddly.

At first I thought it was me, but on doing a spot of checking, I found he makes numerous complaints about neighbours in his first home. He dislikes oil tanks, new homes, hedges, leaf fall and also states people have stolen his land.

The only advice I can give you is ignore, ignore, ignore. I just received about my hundredth letter from him, always sent registered/signed for. I always decline them. I am sick of reading his ludicrous works of fiction involving "curtilages" and the use of latin where possible just letting me know I am a pleb.

Do not engage with him and repeat this mantra in your head. Get on with your life, you have done nothing wrong and he is harassing you like my neighbour harasses me. He is in the wrong according to the law, not you.

I do think that a chat with the council is a good idea. They may be able to put a flag on your file that further complaints are not to be investigated.

@theveryhungerdieter, it's interesting you should say that, I have wondered about a Cluster B personality. I know dementia can affect all ages, but he's somewhere around his mid 40s with what looks like a busy family life.

I've been looking at the letter that was sent from the former resident from 50 years ago, commenting on the changes that have been made here. I'm really interested in the history of the house, particularly as during the time period she was here, half the house was knocked down and I'm really interested in renovating it back to how it originally was. How on earth would he react if I put in planning permission to re-establish that part of the house, given that it would effectively double the size of the house as it is now....

Oh god do it! Even if you don't have any intention of actually doing anything about it...