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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel like I'm being harassed by my neighbour?

143 replies

Greypaw · 09/04/2018 22:42

I live in the arse-end of nowhere, in a tiny hamlet of about ten houses. It's very rural, and the houses are mainly old farm buildings that were converted long ago. My house has been here for about 150 years on the edge of the hamlet, and there is a bit of land in front of it, which is essentially my front garden. I have one drive which goes from the road, through my front garden to the side of the house, and another drive that goes from the road to the back of the house.

A few houses away from mine is the house of a guy who has a history of making complaints about my property. This predates me living here, and I have paperwork that shows him doing this on several occasions over the years. Since I moved here I've kept my head well down. None of my property borders his. He has one small window overlooking a miniscule part of the drive through my back garden, but that's it - the rest of the property and gardens he can't see.

However he's taken to writing complaints to the council about my property, and has been involving people from nearby villages in these communications. These seem to focus on alleged breaches of planning rules. He seems to like doing this as when I looked on the local planning site for this hamlet, there were quite a few letters from him objecting to one thing or another, but at the moment he seems to have a real bee in his bonnet about my front garden and driveway.

About three or four years ago (before I bought the place), it seems he claimed my drive had been installed without permission, but the case was closed with no further action to be taken. I think this is because it's sited on an old farm track that was always used to access parts of the property, so wasn't new, but had fallen into disuse, become overgrown and wasn't visible except for the dropped kerb. The previous owners then resurfaced it which is when he complained. After that it went quiet (at least on that issue - he was feuding with other neighbours during that time), but over the last six months he's really been going for it with this drive, collecting evidence etc. It's the range of things he's done that's made me feel harassed. In brief, these are what those things are, and the only reason I know about them is because he's written to the council listing all this stuff:

  • Conducted several "site visits" along with other people locally to ask their opinion and get them to write to the council too (there is no footpath outside the house and the road is a very busy national speed limit road, so he'd have to come into my front garden to do this). I had no knowledge that these had taken place.
  • Monitored my use of both my drives to see how often I use each one (I have no idea how he can do this with the front drive as there is no way he can see it).
  • Monitored who comes and goes over my front garden drive, in terms of whether they are workmen, residents, visitors etc.
  • Stated he has seen vans queuing on the drive to get on the property, creating a danger on the highway (this isn't true, but he's taken a photo of a workman's van that was parked on the drive to "prove" it)
  • Tracked down the owner of the house from over 50 years ago to ask them to write a letter stating whether the drive was there then.
  • Stated the drive is too confusing for visitors who often take the wrong turning in trying to find my property (how would he know this? How?)

All these things he's put in letters to the council, and urged others in nearby villages to do the same. I know he's also talked to the residents of the hamlet to tell them my drive is illegal and try to get them involved (they have declined)

For my part, I've had a site visit from the council and been told everything is fine, but he's still going.

I know it's fine to raise an issue with the council if he's worried about something, but AIBU to feel harassed at this level of surveillance and reporting?

OP posts:
bonnyshide · 10/04/2018 10:00

Don't contact him in any way you will be feeding the flames. Any reaction is exactly what he wants.

Carry on with your life and ignore him. He will soon m be on to his next project, but if you start fights by back he will remain focused on you and your driveway.

bonnyshide · 10/04/2018 10:00

*move

Greypaw · 10/04/2018 10:06

Ooh, didn’t realise you could get battery operated CCTV. I will look into this.

I’ve just called my solicitor who knows all about our property. She is going to get someone from the Planning team at the solicitors to look into it and they can communicate directly with the council if it’s needed.

OP posts:
lettuceWrap · 10/04/2018 10:13

Here’s an Amazon screen grab- other similar products are available, and also (much cheaper) fake solar powered cctv cameras.

I live in a very similar property - rural, two driveways coming off a main road onto our (very large) garden, which form a U shape across the front of the property (ie you can drive in one side and out of the other and the drives are about 35m apart).

In your situation I’d want cctv to cover the whole of the area that NDN might come onto your property- and I’d want him to know there was CCTV there, ie discreet but visible, with some visible signage too. I bet he wouldn’t be so keen to access your garden then.

AIBU to feel like I'm being harassed by my neighbour?
Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 10/04/2018 10:14

I would put up a cctv camera and next to it a sign saying private property then you have proof he keeps entering your property and can then get a solicitor to send him a letter , i personally would go around and talk to him about why hes doing this silly nonsense and tell him to find a new hobby

Greypaw · 10/04/2018 10:16

@lettucewrap, sounds like we have the same kind of property and a similar set-up. Thanks so much for the screen grab, that’s exactly the kind of thing I’d need.

OP posts:
UnsuspectedItem · 10/04/2018 10:23

He sounds like he needs a bloody hobby.

MipMipMip · 10/04/2018 10:29

Have a PM with @hooraysunshine. She has had similar which is hopefully resolved now. She might have some suggestions.

trixymalixy · 10/04/2018 10:43

CCTV and ignore, ignore, ignore.

If you hadn't looked at the planning site you wouldn't even know about his behaviour. Any action is likely just to escalate things.

Zaphodsotherhead · 10/04/2018 11:31

If you escalate this situation, he is going to see it as proof positive that you have SOMETHING TO HIDE and that his constant monitoring only has to continue for a bit longer and you will GIVE YOURSELF AWAY. He probably thinks that the local planning and council are IN ON IT and you are probably paying them off to keep quiet.

Honestly, with people like this you cannot win, not ever. He thinks he is being totally reasonable. If you escalate he will see it as reasonable that he cuts down your trees while you are out, fits surveillance equipment to watch you through your windows and gets the police to raid your property on a weekly basis.

Ignore him. Completely. And don't check the planning page again. Let him exhaust himself fighting the council, that way it's them that draw his ire, not you.

YellowFlower201 · 10/04/2018 11:38

I wouldn't bother with calling a solicitor. Install CCTV and put a sign up saying it's private land.

Flockoftreegulls · 10/04/2018 11:40

I used to work for a local authority and believe me when I say we knew who the crank professional complainers were.
I would try not to engage with any of it, you don't want to add fuel to the fire.
Beef up your security and ignore him.

Greypaw · 10/04/2018 12:58

@flockoftreegulls that's really reassuring, I'm hoping this is indeed the case. Guy in question keeps putting in multiple planning requests (for BIG changes to the area, he owns quite a bit of land here) and getting turned down, and seems to get irate that other people might be allowed to make changes when he hasn't been. He will definitely be known to the Planning dept as he's always submitting proposals, appeals etc.

OP posts:
onalongsabbatical · 10/04/2018 13:05

That'll be part of it, then, he's jealous that you've been allowed a new drive while he's not being allowed to build the local Taj Mahal. He has a massive ego I suspect.

Flockoftreegulls · 10/04/2018 13:15

The council staff will be sick of the sight of him.
We had one that used to protest outside for years and try to draw staff into arguments.
The authority got an injunction in the end because he was such a nuisance.
They will probably have vexatious complaints procedures and they will get annoyed enough to use them if he continues as it wastes time and resources investigating.

ScouseQueen · 10/04/2018 15:38

I used to work for a local authority and believe me when I say we knew who the crank professional complainers were.

I know people who've worked for local authorities and I second this. The repeat / nuisance complainers (some who will ring up multiple times in the same day, day after day) are well known. They'll have the measure of him.

Badbadtromance · 10/04/2018 15:56

Op i feel for you. I just bought a new house only to discover that i have a mad neighbour who loves to scream abuse at my visitors about to start a thread of my ownFlowers

Allthewaves · 10/04/2018 16:13

I'd install cctv that records and some trespass signs.

Wonder if you could get a restraining order?

CruCru · 10/04/2018 17:02

This does sound awful - but please don’t contact him. He’d LOVE a fight and will pour a load of energy and money into it.

Soon enough, he’ll fall out with someone else and start a campaign against them instead.

tenredthings · 10/04/2018 17:31

I've got a CF neighbour as well, he's constantly trying to engage me in a fight, reporting me to the authorities for made up things. It's really hard to do but I am just totally ignoring him in the hope that If I don't enter into his crazy assed annoyances then he'll move on and start to annoy someone more interesting. I think as some people get older their world's shrink and in the absence of any drama or interest in their lives they start to fabricate it. My neighbour is a miserable sod with just one friend who he treats like his personal slave. I suggest that if you possibly can ignore this man, sending a solicitor letter may well just be the most exciting thing that's happened to him for a while !

Bluelady · 10/04/2018 17:51

He's a fucking loon with too much time on his hands. I'd pretend he doesn't exist, no solicitors' letters, no CCTV, nothing. Just totally ignore him. He's an attention seeker who will revel in your willingness to engage with him.

SaltireSaltire · 10/04/2018 18:18

sending a solicitor letter may well just be the most exciting thing that's happened to him for a while

Totally agree. He’d love the challenge it would present.
People like this best ignored..........by all means beef up your security if it’s what you would be reassured by

jaimelannistersgoldenhand · 10/04/2018 18:30

I would be getting CCTV and talking to the police.

jaimelannistersgoldenhand · 10/04/2018 18:32

He will use a solicitor's letter do that he can claim that you are harassing/bullying him. I think that a letter would escalate things.

annoyedofnorwich · 10/04/2018 18:35

Not rtft but you can get wireless cameras. Look up Netgear Arlo.