Another child at nursery hit mine...AIBU

[happygirlie18]

So I posted a few weeks ago about my DD moving rooms at nursery and being bitten on her first settling session by another child. I was angry at the time and spoke to the managers about who informed me that they were aware it wasn't an isolated incident and were taking steps to manage this.

Since that incident a few weeks ago we haven't heard anything else, but there have also been no other problems and DD has had other settling sessions in the new room.

This morning was her first day in the new room. She was understandably a little unsettled as it was new people and new key workers but she eventually sat at the table with some her of her little friends that she knows from the morning when we all wait in reception.... and out of nowhere the same child who bit her the other week came running over to her to hit her! His arm was raised and he had started swinging his arm when I saw this and just about managed to get her out of the way! The other childs mum was there who then grabbed him away and apologised to me.

I took DD out of the room and went straight down to the managers office and asked her to put DD back in her old room for the day and have asked for something to be done. I no longer feel that my child is safe in that room if this other child is going to randomly attack DD who wasn't doing anything to him.

I'm not sure what can be done but I no longer feel comfortable leaving DD in the same room as this other child!

Toddlers don’t bully. Under 3? They don’t even realise what they are doing most of the time!!

Apologies if this has been answered but how do you know which child bit yours? You shouldn’t know. Children that ages hit the others all the time. They are working out their bodies. I bet your child hits too.

I had a child who bit others. It was mortifying as a parent. It was only a few times and nursery took steps each time but it is still horrid to know it is your child. She is fine now aged 3. They need space not accusations at that age

PrimalLass

and usually involves ganging up.

This is just wrong.

OK whatever.

oh ffs op
everyone has this at some point
and at some point yours will do it too

Just wait until your previous little popper becomes the "attacker"
They're so little, they often don't even know they're being naughty. It's unfortunate but toddlers can be horrid little creatures. They mostly grow out of it.

But nurseries dealt with this toddlers unacceptable behaviour the mum of the boy apologised for her childs behaviour and removed himthis kid is learning and being taught that hitting and biting is not what we do I don't see this little kid as a bully

How very sad that some of you think 2 year olds are bullies.

OP, YABU and precious, your child would have picked up on your reaction earlier.

I've been on both sides as a parent (one who'd randomly hit and occasionally bite from around 18months - 2) and one who never hurts others but has another child at the nursery who has bitten her a few times and it was much much worse being the parent of the 'aggressor'. I don't make it into a big deal when my children get hurt by another toddler and they don't get too upset.

Yeah. Doesn’t happen much at secondary 🙄

bella it's not about thinking 2 year olds are bullies. It's more about recognising that often they can be smarter than we gibe them credit for.

And also that it's important to recognise that if your child is going through phase of hitting or biting that you have to stay on top of them until it passes.

And that whether or not you think a child is a bully the excuses start around this time. It's simply about taking the behaviour seriously and acting on it in an age appropriate way rather than makimg excuses and assuming it will pass

Those parents who chose to ignore it or shrug it off as normal toddler behavior and make all these excuses , well how do the kids learn ? How do they not get to three four six etc and carry it on?

I think the parents say NAUGHTY _ WE DON"T BITE, SAY SORRY

But don't like give their kid a criminal record at the same time - not ' shrug it off'

My son bit Luke in pre school. Both have made it to University unscathed

Giles - I certainly didn't ignore it or shrug it off when it was my child doing it, but I do when they get hurt and wouldn't make a parent feel bad (unless they ignored the behaviour). I asked the nursery staff and health visitor for advice and we kept it consistent with 'no, we don't bite/hit' and removal from the situation. My daughter wasn't even two (she got there early!). I left places if she continued with the behaviour if we were out. She wouldn't dream of doing it now at 3, but some children do and I still don't think they are 'bullies'.

Sadly, I think the hysterical parents have a more detrimental effect on their child than the one who hurt them.

(I do give them a kiss and cuddle, but don't call the other child mean, naughty etc, I say something like "they're learning" and encourage them to accept an apology)

I certainly didn't shrug it off either. It was mortifying.

Mind you, the one time I did shrug it off is when the other mum, a social worker who should maybe know about things, made an arsey comment about it.