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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends husband messaging me. AIBU?

100 replies

Maybellissimo · 08/04/2018 21:53

He’s actually the husband of a friend of a friend. He is following me on Instagram, he likes all my pictures and has started privately messaging me, innocently at first, asking after the kids etc, then telling me how good looking I am, I haven’t changed since he last saw me blah blah, sending me blowy kisses emojis. I’ve screen shot the lot and am seriously considering sending it to his wife. My sister is staying at mine at the mo because her perfect husband has been sexting women and videoing himself screwing them. I want to tell his wife AIBU?

OP posts:
snowagain · 08/04/2018 21:56

So is it the friend of a friend's husband who has been 'coming onto you?' Or your sister's husband who is also a 'player?'

I'm confused...

mrsmainz · 08/04/2018 21:56

I need more content of the "blah blah" before I make a decision, as at the moment, he just seems a bit over friendly, but telling you that you haven't changed since he last saw you isn't enough to constitute sexting. Not sure where I stand on the emoji, as it's an emoji...

LoniceraJaponica · 08/04/2018 21:58

Ignore and block him

Ski40 · 08/04/2018 21:58

I would show your actual friend and ask for her input on how to handle her friend.
I would also block the husband so it's clear you want nothing to do with it. X

Trinity66 · 08/04/2018 21:59

I'd probably just block him like a PP said.

dangermouseisace · 08/04/2018 22:00

I’d tell her. He knows you know her, hence sending you messages is more ‘risky’. She might be ok with him being a dickhead, or might not, but the balance of probabilities is with not. Having been married to a cheat, I would have preferred if I’d been told, if anyone I knew, knew.

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 08/04/2018 22:00

Sorry. My sister husband is a separate issue, i’m a bit sensitive because this is how it all started for him, messaging women on social media etc and it now escalated to him screwing them. Maybe I’m massively overreacting. I just feel that if my dh was telling a woman he barely knows how good looking she is I’d be really pissed off.

OP posts:
ClemDanfango · 08/04/2018 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iheartmichellemallon · 08/04/2018 22:03

I'd screen shot & send it to his wife stating you think he's messaging you in error & obviously means the messages for her, then delete & block him.

Sorry you're experiencing this - some men are shits & need calling out on it.

Trinity66 · 08/04/2018 22:04

ClemDanfango I agree, the messenger always gets shot. Uless it was a very good friend I'd just stay out of it

UpstartCrow · 08/04/2018 22:06

Screenshot just in case he tries to turn it back on you later, then block and ignore.

ObiJuanKenobi · 08/04/2018 22:06

OP would you want to know if you were her?
I would!

BettyBaggins · 08/04/2018 22:07

Block block block

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/04/2018 22:07

I wohldnt block

But I also wouldn’t reply

Just ignore

Shedmicehugh1 · 08/04/2018 22:11

Have you replied to his messages?

Nearlyadad · 08/04/2018 22:12

Friend of mine was seeing a guy off the internet, she got a bit suspicious and did some digging and turns out he’s apparently happily engaged. She contacted the fiancé who was very grateful. So I guess the messenger isn’t always shot. I’d tell her.

Gemini69 · 08/04/2018 22:13

don't reply.... he's fishing... BLOCK Flowers

Mrsmadevans · 08/04/2018 22:14

Block the bastard . I think as you said the situation with you DS is making a sensitive subject even worse and closer to home , you don't have to do anything just block him , he is just not worth it.I expect he is doing it to many women , for all you know your DF may already be aware of it , don't get involved she may need you for support like your DS before long .

magoria · 08/04/2018 22:16

I think she deserves to know.

You may not be the first. You may not be the last and if any of the others have bitten he could be risking her sexual health. Also there is the chance that she 'knows' something is wrong and is driving herself up the wall without evidence.

He is a shit. Why hide his dirty little secret?

HermionesRightHook · 08/04/2018 22:24

I don't think there's anything concrete enough there to let her know about. It's all stuff that could be explained away with 'just being friendly' and then you look like you're in the wrong - or could be painted that way.

Presumably he lured you into a conversation with the stuff about the kids, so you have been replying to him, which he can then make you look bad with.

I would definitely go with block and ignore here. I don't think there's even any point calling him out, you'll just get injured innocence. Don't engage further.

Pinkvoid · 08/04/2018 22:25

The messenger never ends up on top. I have blocked him a long time ago.

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 08/04/2018 22:29

I really would want to know. You have screenshots so it’s not like he can deny it.

NSEA · 08/04/2018 22:29

Something similar happened to me a while few years ago. I just replied reminding him he had a wife and children and he should be ashamed of himself. He replied ‘wow’ and then I never heard from him again. Thankfully.

Feelings · 08/04/2018 22:31

You know he's just going to find someone else to irritate once you block him. It's best you tell his wife.

igglewhat · 08/04/2018 22:32

I would want to know but you may end up getting some blame.