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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends husband messaging me. AIBU?

100 replies

Maybellissimo · 08/04/2018 21:53

He’s actually the husband of a friend of a friend. He is following me on Instagram, he likes all my pictures and has started privately messaging me, innocently at first, asking after the kids etc, then telling me how good looking I am, I haven’t changed since he last saw me blah blah, sending me blowy kisses emojis. I’ve screen shot the lot and am seriously considering sending it to his wife. My sister is staying at mine at the mo because her perfect husband has been sexting women and videoing himself screwing them. I want to tell his wife AIBU?

OP posts:
starzig · 08/04/2018 22:32

If I was his wife I would probably laugh at you. It's only a few flirty messages and likes.

AnnieLobeseder · 08/04/2018 22:34

Send them to his mother.

ObiJuanKenobi · 08/04/2018 22:36

@AnnieLobeseder why?

Oddcat · 08/04/2018 22:36

I would tell his wife - these sort of men might think twice (although I doubt it) if they knew that the women they target don't stand for this sort of nonsense .

LizzieDarcy1907 · 08/04/2018 22:38

I would screenshot them all and send to his wife. He's in the wrong, not you.

MsGameandWatching · 08/04/2018 22:38

This happened to me. In the end I told him that if I received one more message I would be sending them to his wife, he got quite blustery and unpleasant actually and called me a "nutter" then blocked me.

MsGameandWatching · 08/04/2018 22:38

If I was his wife I would probably laugh at you. It's only a few flirty messages and likes.

Hmm sure you would.

WhaleTasting · 08/04/2018 22:40

I'd send the screen shots to his wife but say no more. SHe's not your friend so if it goes wrong you don't have to worry about it.

WhaleTasting · 08/04/2018 22:42

If I was his wife I would probably laugh at you. It's only a few flirty messages and likes.

You'd laugh at a woman who was being made uncomfortable by your creepy husband's advances?

Nice.

pandarific · 08/04/2018 22:43

I think the right thing to do is to send them to her, being very clear you have no contact or interest in him, and you just thought she should know

MirriVan · 08/04/2018 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Follyfoot · 08/04/2018 22:47

I'd send him one message saying if he carries on I'll forward the messages to his his wife. Bet that will stop him.

In the days before SM, a friend's husband lurched over to kiss me when I dropped him home one evening. Just told him to get out of the car and get into the house to his WIFE. Never had any more trouble from him....

MirriVan · 08/04/2018 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Juells · 08/04/2018 22:50

Messengers don't get thanked. My sister was chased around the house by the husband of a friend (an alcoholic) who'd passed out drunk on the sofa. She told the friend the next day. Friend talked to her therapist, who explained my sister was jealous and making it up to cause trouble Confused

SilverDoe · 08/04/2018 22:50

Sometimes I feel like I live on another planet to some women on here. Would you really be totally fine with your husband or partner contacting other women to tell them they're attractive? Is that really not supposed to be a big deal?? That just frankly sounds like people are settling for arseholes and dismissing it as "normal" behaviour. It's not - it's shitty.

OP, he doesn't know you well, right? So he's not getting in touch with you because he thinks you are the great love of his life. In other words, he's a cheating prick looking to find someone willing to collude with him. If you don't bite then he will carry on looking. Tell the poor woman so she can sack him off.

spicerack · 08/04/2018 22:52

i'd want to know if it was my DP

YoucancallmeVal · 08/04/2018 22:54

Stop courting the drama. Just block him.

InsomniacAnonymous · 08/04/2018 22:54

AnnieLobeseder Why on earth would you involve his mother? He's a grown man!

SShaming · 08/04/2018 22:55

Val has nailed it.

throwcushions · 08/04/2018 22:55

I'd want to know

Woshambo · 08/04/2018 22:56

SilverDoe

EXACTLY!!!!!

Inbedbyeight · 08/04/2018 22:56

starzig I find it very strange that you would laugh at this type of behaviour, I think most people would be upset and humiliated to be told their husbands inappropriate behaviour were making random women uncomfortable!

ZanyMobster · 08/04/2018 23:01

I would absolutely screenshot them and send them to her. I would definitely want to know if it was my husband!

Who on earth would actually laugh if they received a screenshot of those messages, that is going beyond 'cool wife'!

HeedMove · 08/04/2018 23:05

I'd 100% want to know if it were my husband and I certainly wouldn't be shooting the messenger.

Giraffey1 · 08/04/2018 23:20

I’m with those who say ... reply to him saying if he sends any more inappropriate messages you will be sharing them with his wife.