To think AIBU is extremely effective at highlighting the levels inequality in the U.K.

[coconuttella]

Of course we all know there’s inequality in the U.K., but the way AIBU identifies the scale of inequality is really quite shocking... I think it’s because you see such diverse experiences posted side by side in a way that wouldn’t happen generally in society (Hampstead mums don’t tend to mix with Jaywick caravan dwellers).

One 40yo will say they are stuck in damp private rentals with no prospect of escape and literally down to their last 20p, while another 40 yo celebrates becoming mortgage free, earns 6 figures..... each with no comprehension of how the other lives (one saying they don’t know how anyone can possibly spend more than £50 on a weekly shop while the other is aghast that people generally don’t have 12 months salary in savings.

You’re right. I’m somewhere in the middle, and by turns feel inadequate and fortunate.

Good thought :) mn in general has certainly opened my eyes

Yes. I am frequently staggered by posts from people who see spending £200 a week on food to be unremarkable, next to posts from people who can't afford a fiver for the gas meter. It's tragic.

Absolutely spot on.

AIBU has made me realise how lucky I am, both financially and with my family and partner.

Other peoples' problems have been a real eye opener for me, which I am very grateful for.

Mumsnet has opened my eyes too - we are not a rich family by any means and live within our means but some stories of extreme poverty on here have made me realise how lucky I am to be able to pay the bills each month.

100% agree.

I never realised the depth of dysfunctionality that exists.

Agree.

The handbag threads on mumsnet too.... Crazy

Agree. But is there also not a lot of exaggeration on both ends? You read posts from supposedly extremely wealthy people that just don't ring true to me, as someone who has the (mis)fortune to works for some insanely privileged people in London, and then also some threads where people seem horrified that anyone can't do a supermarket shop for a family of 7 including newborn twins in nappies for £20 a week, or get arsey at anyone earning above the minimum wage...

My background is fairly comfortable middle class (though not rich), and I'm now a single parent who can just about survive every month. Through my job I see a lot of people living in real poverty - choosing between food and electric. I feel like my eyes are fairly open to most of the financial spectrum.

But what MN has opened my eyes to are the people who really are well off and don't think they are. People who earn 6 figure sums and are nearly mortgage free at 40, go on several holidays a year - and yet think they are average.

Well, they are average in their own narrow band of friends. Probably most of us are like that, in that we tend to mix with people who have roughly the same amount of money as us.

I think you’re right, but surely it’s not realistic to expect everyone to have an intimate understanding of how everyone lives?

My family are working class, good financial position, homeowners, 2 cars etc, your very typical “3 bed semi” family. They have no idea how either the very rich or very poor live. They’re extremes and most people sit in the middle

Yes I agree. My moment of realising this came in a thread where one poster thought it ridiculous that anyone would be do careless as not to have six month's salary in savings as 'backup'.

Just couldn't understand that it wouldn't be possible for some to actually save this as all their money was needed to live. Simple accept believe it.

'Simple accept believe it' was supposed to be:

Simple unable to accept or believe it.

Well, they are average in their own narrow band of friends. Probably most of us are like that, in that we tend to mix with people who have roughly the same amount of money as us

Do we? I have friends who have been street-homeless, and a friend who is a self-made multi-millionaire (though is very aware of how well-off he is) and two friends who inherited/will inherit dukedoms (or similar)

I’ve been on both sides of the coin so it’s given me really good perspective and made me a lot less judgemental than others who have only experienced one life.

I hate being called lucky though. It’s not luck that got me where I am today, it was a lot of really fucking hard work.

Do we? I have friends who have been street-homeless, and a friend who is a self-made multi-millionaire (though is very aware of how well-off he is) and two friends who inherited/will inherit dukedoms (or similar)

I don’t think it’s at all usual to have such a range in friendships.

Re things like 6 months savings as back up do you not think that’s a bit of bullshitting though? People get a bit carried away on Internet forums and a bit desperate to make themselves feel great and others feel crap

it has opened my eyes sometimes i think i dont belong on here, although ive only been on here a few weeks. most of my friends dont go on holiday each year etc. i think the only thread that upset me was the holiday one because it all sounded so amazing. i work really hard and i get scared people think im lazy or something. i also dont claim any benefits.

YANBU. And so many couples where both are high earners, both own houses, etc.

StripySocksAndDocs

Yup. And people saying things like, 'You had a baby but you had no insurance on your mortgage payments? Wow.' Etc. There's a lot of snobbery on here disguised as 'common sense' and 'straight talking'.

MN has made me appreciate just how kind and caring my DH is.

Not AIBU

MN generally - as I read mainly from ‘Active’ (of the health topics)

MN does seem to a place of extremes. Incredibly wealthy or totally impoverished. Or maybe the average posters don’t catch my attention?