To think AIBU is extremely effective at highlighting the levels inequality in the U.K.

[coconuttella]

Of course we all know there’s inequality in the U.K., but the way AIBU identifies the scale of inequality is really quite shocking... I think it’s because you see such diverse experiences posted side by side in a way that wouldn’t happen generally in society (Hampstead mums don’t tend to mix with Jaywick caravan dwellers).

One 40yo will say they are stuck in damp private rentals with no prospect of escape and literally down to their last 20p, while another 40 yo celebrates becoming mortgage free, earns 6 figures..... each with no comprehension of how the other lives (one saying they don’t know how anyone can possibly spend more than £50 on a weekly shop while the other is aghast that people generally don’t have 12 months salary in savings.

umbungo

Yet you were capable of this.

I worked during my maternity leave taking 15 professional exams. I worked whilst I got my degree studying for 5 years in the evening. I am lucky enough to have the mental capacity to do this.

Yes definitely. It's opened my eyes to how many "normal" people are close to poverty and how wealthy people spend their money.

It's also people's different priorities that initially surprised me. Then I went and worked in a bank for a couple of years and it rang true. Families with very good salaries driving 4x4s and having several Caribbean hols but huge overdrafts, huge credit card bills and regular bank charges. No evidence of savings. Made me realise what a house of cards some people's lives are.

I am amazed at the widespread contempt on MN for so-called baby boomers (you all do realise we did not control the year of our birth and the boomer bit just means there were a lot of us born NOT that we are all rich minted and selfish)
I am even more surprised at how well off some of the mnetter parents seem to be with index linked pensions, cruises, oodles of money when so many of us in the same demographic are living a life of careful saving for unexpected expenses.
Hint - they are the ones in the priveleged percentage and part of the inequality.

Dairyisclosed what a breathtakingly stupid post. How can you possibly know that well off people have been working hard since childhood for no pay? I am also amazed that you can know that working for an academic qualification is much harder than working 60 hours a week in a menial job. I suppose you have done the 60 hour option? Who supported you while you were working for your qualification then?

I am so grateful to MN for highlighting the vast inequalities between groups of people living in this country. It is a disgrace that there are mothers juggling heating with food, or being unable to afford bus fare to get to a foodbank or doctors.

I did know that the extreme poverty existed but never imagined the realities of it and reading how some of you manage is humbling and inspires me to do more in my own community. We live in an affluent area but I am now much more aware of how people can become 'invisible', and i try to think of ways to help.

Our village school administrator is brilliant at doing this - for example she knows who's struggling for uniform or shoes and ensures that those kids get what they need in a discrete manner. (I only know this because I helped in the school office) So i have always donated all outgrown stuff to her to re-distribute. Womens refuge runs a 'shop' (free) where fleeing women can get clothes, toys, toiletries etc so I would rather give stuff to them than to a regular charity shop.

I hear people say that the poor are only poor because of work ethic or drugs etc. I try hard to educate some of them about stuff like electricity being more expensive on a prepaid meter, and how the 'free' nursery places arent always 'free' (top ups). People are happy to believe the papers/trash tv but wont find out for themselves the reality of extreme hardship happening on their doorsteps.

for everyone on MN and thank you for opening my eyes.

I was born to parents in their 40s in 1965 so they could tell me stories about the war and rationing and so on unlike many of my friends whose parents were born at the end of the war or were too young to remember it.
Yes, there was a feeling of pulling together and lots of children from the slums of london did go out to the country side to be evacuated and saw a different lifestyle , but many had a miserable time too ( my Auntie did she was treated appallingly and my nan had to bring her home as it was safer in london than where she was) my mum said there were always the middle classes who didnt believe the poverty that did exist elsewhere ( not just london) - mum said she was a bit luckier as my nan knew a bit about healthy diet and did her best to make sure they had their veggies, even if there wasn't much money for meat ( it was rationed anyway) and they would go hop picking at the start of autumn and that money would buy shoes and some clothes for the winter. the farmers didnt treat them that well either.
I do hate it when some people tend to make the war years sound like a time of coming together - it really wasnt at times - social attitudes to money and the poor in society havnet really changed much - people being able to buy their council houses has increased wealth an awful lot and ( in my opinion) there would be a lot more people on a level playing field if this hadnt been the policy at the time. There are always the rich too - old money never goes away!

MN does seems to have a surprising number of Uni educated women who have never held down a job. Married young and live in a sort of bubble of Jilly Cooper land. Husbands on three figure salaries.

In my reality, with the exception of one person, I don't know any woman who doesn't have a job and some financial independence. Just like I don't know anyone debating where they should go skiing this year.
But just because that's not my reality it doesn't mean it's never going to be someone else 's!

It's only through being on MN that I learned married people don't always share their finances. All windfalls, inheritances, gifts from parents etc is considered family money by everyone I know.
And that some of the unmarried don't think about/sort out their financial position, which is often vulnerable, with someone before having dc with them.

YANBU / it’s also made me realise that i’M REALLY happy that I didn’t marry a bloke!

I wasn’t aware of the horrible stigma of renting until I read on here what people truly think. I have owned previously and now rent. It never used to cross my mind to tell people but I don’t tell anyone now. You’d never know looking our home and I’d never offer that information anymore now I’ve read the assumptions and judgements about it on here.
I’m also amazed by the amount of tolerance women can muster for total arseholes and feel lucky to have my DH.

What I've learned irl and I see it on mn as well is that those who are actually poor or seriously struggling financially are more likely to want to hide it and discuss it less openly. Hidden poverty I guess. It's one thing to feel that you don't have enough money left over after paying the bills and putting some money away in a savings account and quite another when you can't pay your bills and skip meals to save food.