To have just lost my shit with my family.

[EphraimLevi]

Aaaargh it’s the holidays. Two teens and a 6yo, and DH.

DH had last week off and while it’s been lovely to have him here, he is just adding to the chaos. None of them pick up after themselves. I’m a SAHM so I’m normally happy to do everything, but they are just carrying on as normal even though they’re all here all day.

Earlier I said to DH that dinner was in 10 minutes, he took that as his cue to go into the garage ‘for ten minutes’. I ended up having to assemble dinner, clear the piles of other people’s crap off the table, lay the table, let the dog out and empty the bin because everyone else had fucked off. I was shouting for help through all this, not just being a martyr, and got replies of ‘just a sec!’.

I mentioned at the table that this wasn’t on, from anybody, that when I say dinner is soon that’s generally a cue to get things ready. Also that I was sick of picking up after everybody, especially as they’re here all day. DH looked pained (hates criticism) and DS nitpicked about none of it being his.

DD then complained that I’d had more lamb than her (I hadn’t), DH dealt with this by dumping his lamb on her plate. I said that wasn’t very fair, as I’d spent most of the day marinating, slow cooking, shredding and making flatbreads and he was basically going without to make his point. The rest of dinner was then a sulky, tense affair from all sides.

It’s DD’s day to wash up which she has only just ‘finished’. It’s taken an hour because she’s been coming in both doors to the front room (leaving both open) to wind the 6yo up, ask questions and generally procrastinate. I’ve just been out to the kitchen and although she’s unstacked the dishwasher she’s left all the clean stuff out on the side, the worktops are filthy and the table is unwiped.

I went upstairs to tell her to come down and nearly tripped over DS1’s clean washing basket which is still outside his room since I gave it to him this morning. Ds2’s room is utterly destroyed and I said ‘oh for fuck’s sake, I’ve only just tidied it’ and DH helpfully piped up that ‘we’ could both tidy it tomorrow.

I think I just sort of screeched at that point. Noise but no words. Burst into tears and now I’m sitting in my front room snarling at anyone who comes in. Fuck them. I think I might just stay in bed all day tomorrow.

AIBU?

I think you should expect it to last and should be stressed about it. The trouble is it's less hard to do it yourself. But as a manager you should definitely not be running around but should see others doing the work.

pinkbraces
This thread reads like martyrs r us! I just don’t get why so many woman still live as domestic help. This is your family, surely it’s your responsibility to make your kids self sufficient.

So true - I can't believe what I read on here sometimes. OP, you are an enabler - it may make you feel better to have a rant on here but it won't solve the problem of your family doing fuck all. It's not doing your DC a favour - how do you think they are going to cope when they are adults living in their own home? Perhaps they are hoping they will find mugs partners to take over where you left off?

2. If she's not there, then they have to cope without her (a) realising how much she does (b) giving them the opportunity to miss her (c) them having to deal with the consequence of making things work by themselves. (D) so if the OP then comes back at the end of the day saying "let's sit down and talk, what do we all,want, let's make some family rules" they can join in that conversation with some understanding

Yeah, like that’s going to happen after a day on their own. In reality they will do their own thing, make lots of mess and hardly notice mum is not around!

Op thanks for this thread, I was feeling the same as you yesterday- got the teens to help out today, only a few jobs each but makes all the difference!

I just had a rant at my lot. I cooked dinner, we all sat and ate together and then they all fucked off and left me sitting there on my own because I hadn’t finished yet. And still expected me to clear up because not one of them even mentioned it. I went into the living room after them and roared until they got off their arses. I shouldn’t have to do that. Perhaps a roar or two might make them think on.

silvery same. I wonder who these women are who don’t seem to have a problem with their kids and husband being lazy pieces of shite. I never seem to meet them in real life.