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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have called 101 about this prick?

116 replies

VelvetSpoon · 07/04/2018 19:43

Background- I don't get on with my neighbours. I've posted about this before. They've got 4 undisciplined kids in a tiny house. The kids (all under 10) do as they please, are constantly in the garden hanging over my fence or climbing on it. They also ride their bikes across my front garden, draw in chalk on my drive, blah blah. The parents are the my kid can do no wrong types but also leave them outside unsupervised all the time So don't see most of this.

Anyway the main issue is they are always chucking toys over and kicking their ball over. I used to throw it back. But it was constant. And they then took to climbing over themselves. So I stopped.

A couple of days ago the ball came over. Yesterday we were in the garden, (actually carrying some heavy stuff so no free hands) one of the kids yells 'give me my ball'. I don't respond to kids speaking like that so we ignored them. Later they're all out in the street with their mates (another group of even more annoying kids who live opposite) yelling we want out ball. We'll make you give it back and general name calling. All of which we ignored and didn't react to.

Today we're in the side alley putting up fence panels. The dad of kids over the road marches over onto my property, asking why we had a go at his kids yesterday. Assured him we said nothing. He says he'll let it go this time but we need to watch ourselves. I said excuse me is that a threat, who did he think he was? To which he went off alarming, f ing and blinding all over the shop, shouting at me I better watch myself, we'd see what happened to us for causing trouble. I said fine you're threatening me I'll call the police. He carried on a bit longer then went off telling us to watch ourselves, taking his 2 teenage boys he'd brought with him for back up.

After this I end up having round 2 with the guy next door (who is not aggressive just irritating) and while I'm having a relatively civil conversation with him, his shrew of a wife shouts out 'don't talk to her she's crazy she's got mental problems she's a loony

All this was in the street/ on my drive in front of my teen DC.

So I've called 101 on guy over the road. AIBU to have done so? And WIBU to also tell the police about the gobby cow next door?

OP posts:
Sprinklesinmyelbow · 08/04/2018 16:33

I think you should be able to deal with a simple dispute yourself. You can’t just run crying to the police everytime there is a row

TomRavenscroft · 08/04/2018 16:42

Sprinkles, the police said the OP was right to call them.

Yogagirl123 · 08/04/2018 16:42

Hopefully things will simmer down, I think any police involvement at this stage may escalate the situation further. Sticks and stones OP. If it turns physical that is another matter completely. Keep a diary of events just in case.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 08/04/2018 16:44

So? What did you think the call operater (civilian answering the phones, btw) would say? Pull yourself together and stop taking up resources, madam?

Fontella · 08/04/2018 16:45

In my experience the police do take threats from neighbours seriously. In fact in my case they were absolutely brilliant.

TomRavenscroft · 08/04/2018 16:58

What is your attitude for,, Sprinkles? And what operator?

The OP says 'The police have been in touch again and thanked me for contacting them... They've advised me under no circs to speak to the neighbours and that as an offence has been committed further steps will be taken.'

Doesn't sound like just an 'operator' or a fob-off to me; happy to be corrected though by someone who knows, like the OP or maybe someone with police knowledge.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 08/04/2018 17:04

It’s highly unlikely that a police officer picked up the phone and called her about that. I don’t know why you’re putting so much weight on it.

That said, I think it’s highly unlikely they told her further steps will be taken too.

SmileEachDay · 08/04/2018 17:06

street full of renters or what have you

ODFOD.
Hmm

TomRavenscroft · 08/04/2018 17:09

That said, I think it’s highly unlikely they told her further steps will be taken too.

So is she lying? Or did she mishear? Misunderstand?

It’s highly unlikely that a police officer picked up the phone and called her about that.
Can you tell me why you're so confident about this? Genuine question. Do you work for the police or otherwise have insider knowledge about how they work?

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 08/04/2018 17:25

Yes my father worked for the police, as a Civilian employee, for 35 years. In the last 10 years they have taken on more and more repaonaibilty- before he retired he was interviewing suspects, all sorts. Why are you so convinced otherwise, when you don’t mention any direct knowledge yourself?

hibbledibble · 08/04/2018 17:30

Threatening and shouting and swearing is indeed worth reporting to the police. I'm surprised at those who say it isn't.

Beware that if you own the house, you will need to legally declare this all when selling, which would put off a lot of buyers.

TomRavenscroft · 08/04/2018 17:31

Sprinkles, thank you for that. Happy to stand corrected (well, unless/until I hear otherwise from the OP) about the position of civilian employees in the police.

I am not 'so convinced' and my posts don't make out that I am; I was simply going on what the OP has said.

And until or unless the OP tells us that she was lying/mistaken or she misunderstood what the call-back told her, I will assume that they told her further steps would be taken. Whether further steps WILL be taken is of course a separate matter, but that isn't what the OP said or what I was talking about.

Original poster
VelvetSpoon · 08/04/2018 17:38

Sprinkles I can assure you it was an officer who called me today, he gave me his name and rank, and advised me as to what would be happening next, who I would be hearing from and when, and steps to take in the meantime, etc, as said above. I have no idea if this is standard practice or not but it's definitely what happened.

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 08/04/2018 17:40

You can hear them at bedtime outside the house

okaaaaaay.....

nicenewdusters · 08/04/2018 18:07

Only bad neighbours I've ever had lived opposite me. Professional dad, SAHM, cut glass accents, fair bit of money, owned their own home. But lazy parents, who's dc were accessories, who were let out like dogs in the morning and left to their own devices. No amount of designer clothes or posh accents disguised their vile language, dreadful attitudes and violent behaviour. They were a constant pain in the arse.

When they moved people I hardly knew said "You must be so happy that the ** have gone." Others in the road suggested having a party.

So bad neighbours can't always be classified in the way some have suggested.

Oh, and taking "souvenirs" from your neighbour's garden is called stealing. Even if you do own your own home.

Birdsgottafly · 08/04/2018 18:27

I've read all of your other threads.

Tbh I think you've wound up the kids by completely ignoring them. The kids can't help how they are being brought up and you've decided to go on a power trip with children.

The Parents being as they are, are going to react to that.

If you carry on with that tact,then you are going to need a camera.

You might not want to leave your house, but carry on like you are and if they are there when they are teens, they will make your life a misery.

Just a bit of advice from someone who lives in an unbelievably shit area.

SpringNowPlease2018 · 08/04/2018 19:27

I'm also wondering if he's got previous

I agree re moving, it's luck isn't it? I'm crossing everything for you that they move!

Lavalamped · 08/04/2018 20:03

Not read all of the thread but if you plan to move you may want to consider reporting the neighbours too much as you have to declare any neighbour disputes on the solicitor forms

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 08/04/2018 20:18

Hmmm I’m not sure that reporting to the police will be traced through a. Homeowner search. We had a neighbour dispute come up in the searches undertaken as part of our last sale and it was because the council had taken a noise order out against the neighbours. I can understand that being identified but they’re not going to be able to search police records are they?

Original poster
VelvetSpoon · 09/04/2018 07:18

My understanding re neighbour disputes is that you are expected to disclose anything that's ongoing. So if these idiots move before me (let's hope so) I won't be required to raise it. Presumably also if nothing further happens after this incident (which is what I'm hoping. Although them moving would be preferable).

And birds just to respond to your post, I've not gone on a power trip. I don't know where you get that from. These kids are quite unpleasant little bullies. The sort that would wave at you then when you wave back stick 2 fingers up. So I refuse to engage with them. Which actually takes some effort when the kids are sitting on the wall outside my house name calling me.

I'm already putting up a camera on the advice of the police officer I spoke to.

As for when they're teenagers, as that is 4 or so years off, I'm hoping both families will have fucked off by then, especially the ones next door as given the size of their family/ house, I can't see they can realistically go more than another 2 years without moving (they have 4 kids in a 2 bed, 1 reception house). In any event I will be moving in about 5 years.

OP posts:
Lizzie48 · 09/04/2018 07:54

I wouldn't rely on them both moving though, hopefully the family with the 4 kids will have done as they really do sound like a nightmare, going into other people's gardens is totally unacceptable behaviour. But I wouldn't count on the guy over the road moving, I would suggest you just don't engage with him at all. If nothing more happens then there is no dispute to report.

With luck, the teenagers will have left home in 5 years as well.

SpringNowPlease2018 · 09/04/2018 10:46

Velvet, I think you need to disclose anything that happened in the past as well - I was told to. But noisy people who had earsplitting parties till 5am on Sunday had gone by then so it didn't matter, but I was told I had to put it down. there might have been a time frame?

Catspaws · 09/04/2018 10:50

It sounds like he was threatening you so I don't think you were unreasonable to call 101 about him. It was probably posturing on his part but just in case it's not you did the right thing.

You would be unreasonable to complain to the police about your 'gobby cow' NDN. She was rude but that isn't a crime.

Mumofkids · 09/04/2018 10:58

In my experience you should report it, it won't stop police dealing with 'real crime' it will get logged and you might get a PCSO turn up at some point to discuss it and they might speak to the neighbour. But if you are threatened and someone is out of order you should log it.

TeasndToast · 09/04/2018 10:58

It's hard to be an owner in a street full of renters or what have you

Yes we are all scum. Working hard, looking after our home, paying someone else’s mortgage because we were priced out the market. Total filth poor you.

We don’t tell anyone we rent. There is a reason for that. People like you.

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