Fecking hoarding by proxy. Anyone else have relatives who do this?

[TheQueenOfWands]

My mum just found an old, filthy, partially deflated football near my house.

It's now in my garden. The same garden which I've recently spent great time and expense tidying up and decorating.

Why? Well, I'll tell you why. Apparently a child will be 'overjoyed' to receive it once it's been cleaned up and reinflated. Also, there's too much stuff in landfill so it's obviously not on to simply throw it out.

Today is my only day off from work. I worked 72 hours last week and 50 this week. I have no interest in laundering footballs and don't have a clue how I'd reinflate it. I also don't know any children, let alone any who would be overjoyed to receive a vaguely scrubbed, badly inflated foot ball.

This isn't the first time she's done this. My parents do this quite a lot.

It's such a shame to throw something out so obviously I have to make use of it or DS would be thrilled with it.

Aaargh!!

Doesn't help that I've recently been decluttering (much love to Marie Kondo) and am happy doing so.

They know this. Yet are still determine to fill my house with crap or visibly recoil when they see me give/throw something away.

DM had new carpets recently & I moved the leftover bits out of the hallway into the spare bedroom for her so they weren't blocking it & to stop her tripping over them. They need to go in the bin as the room is no longer useable when full of carpet (I didn't have time that day). I suggested she put one roll a fortnight in her black bin to get rid.

She wants to bag it all up and store it in the garage which my lovely bil cleared out for her so she could get her car in easily and store her garden tools.

With the carpet in it won't work as well (there'll be trip hazards, stuff falling over etc).

The look on her face when I said chuck it all away was just incredible. No use for the off cuts - already given the useful bits away to a friend.

I used to smuggle rubbish out in my handbag (and into my bin) but I don't think I can fit the carpet in!

The PP who sees books as junk on the grounds her teens have iphones is making me a bit sad.

There are books you are never going to read again. They need to be set free to reach other people

susie if they aren't just teeny tiny, sometimes people want them for when they are puppy training, when I had a bedroom carpet laid a friend took all my little off cuts to do this with. Maybe ask on a local free site, it might make her feel 'better' if it isn't just going straight in the bin.

My parents, in their mid 80's have recently sold one of their 3 houses. So did they get rid of anything? Noooo - they just bought a few more garden sheds....now 16 and counting. Plus a 3 bed detached stuffed to the gills. Gonna be an interesting task one day.

There are out of date books like the National Trust guide I throw into the recycling every year.

Manuals for stuff that broke years ago.

Encyclopedias are out of date as soon as they're printed these days.

Aspirational 'how to' books (languages, skills, crafts life coaching) that realistically, you have to admit to yourself, you won't open.

Maps that are decades out of date.

Old text books - the syllabus has changed since you used them.

Old exercise books - you've got the O Level certificate, why keep proof of the work?

Telephone directories older than one year.

There are loads of books you could get rid of before you start on the piles of stuff you might miss.....

I find getting totally rid of books difficult. I have a few encyclopedia type books which are years and years old and I have the up to date info at the end of my finger tips but it seems such a waste to just chuck them - I know I need to though, they have been in my loft for years, I am not likely to do much more than shove them in the loft of the next house. I know it doesn't make it 'right' but I am slightly comforted by the fact that at least they will be burnt for fuel rather than sat in landfill.

I did recently pass on a couple of old university texts books, I figured that probably not much had changed in the last 21 years when it came to anatomy, so could be useful for someone.

One man’s rubbish is another man’s treasure - or what ever the old adage is. Has anyone tried FB marketplace? I’m astounded at the shite I’ve gotten rid of on there and it’s saved me a trip to the dump! We had old doors that we’d reolaced (8 of them) some damaged, a leaky, non functional dishwasher... I’ve had people fighting for my old junk and probably could’ve earned money! Declutter people, there’s a massive market for upcycling and minimal effort from you!

YearOfYouRemember
Please get rid of the old baby equipment.
Safety standards have changed even since I bought my DCs' crib back in 1990. Things that parents bought in good faith have been shown to be death traps. Old paint, old varnish, drop sides, width of bars - all can be safety hazards.

I'm at art college and we have a shelf for donations... old magazines, maps, books, anything really! Just a thought for anyone struggling to get rid of stuff who doesn't want to put it in landfill. The art room at the adult education centre I went to gratefully accepted magazines like National Geographic too.

Sarahlou63 so did they actually pay to move all that stuff?!

We're moving soon and I'm adamant I'm not moving anything unnecessary.

I feel my comments about my mum upthread may have been a bit harsh. She had to have her clutter removed by the insurance company so they could do essential repairs to her house, and she was mortified when she saw it all itemised on list for storage. She wants to change.

Yesterday she'd sorted four bags of clothes for a charity collection, but seemed to need reassuring that this was a good thing to do and that she'd still have enough afterwards. So I think there's an anxiety element to it.

I give books to the local library. If they need them they go on the shelves and if not the go on the table for sale. With new books by popular authors I've started buying the book rather than the kindle version and give them to the library. The normally cost the same and I know the library budgets are tight and if they get say the latest Ian Rankin five days after it is released they are thrilled..

Having a major do about clearing stuff out. Have a full set of about a dozen volumes about WWI published in @ 1920. Years ago I knew some places that had reference books liked stuff that was nearly contemporary, would something like the above be of interest to a library?

It seems a shame to put it in the bin.

mathanxiety - no need for you to worry. The pram and cot are much more recent than yours and as I've said before, they probably will be got rid of when we move. I don't want to do it yet.

Meckity1 - have a look on Amazon/ebay/waterstones (other 2nd hand book sellers) to see if the 1920 books are listed and for what price. Or pass on to charity shop if local library does not want. Someone somewhere wants old books and usually they end up at the BookBarn in Somerset www.bookbarninternational.com/. Heaven for book lovers ...

GaspodeWonderCat (great name). Thank you, I'll have a look!

Amazon is good, but AbeBooks is better for used books.

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant

There are books you are never going to read again. They need to be set free to reach other people

People should give them to the book fairies

Susie we give carpet off cuts/ old carpets to the local dog rescue, they use them in the kennels.

MIL recently upgraded her charity shop addiction and now gos to auctions and buys ornaments. She has a display case CRAMMED with various ornaments and they still have their raffle ticket lot numbers sellotaped to them.

She has a display case CRAMMED with various ornaments and they still have their raffle ticket lot numbers sellotaped to them.

Oh God, I hate that.

She clearly doesn't care about these items and simply has them for the sake of having them. 😟

If it meant anything to her, that would be something.

Well it’s not as though I actually wanted to sleep tonight

Yep.

Showed it to my Dh. He said ‘that’s not right!’

I realise this is probably of interest to no one but I have to say it. Talked to DH about the loft and my worries that we will soon be at a stage where we can't physically sort it out, me mid 60s him disabled and 70s so all down to me. So he agreed and I have emptied a car load of rubbish and he has some stuff to sort and sell/find a place for/throw away. So tomorrow I do another load and I know it is going to make alot of work sorting out things he wants to keep but an empty loft is now a possibility.

I took a dozen books to the library yesterday, librarian was really happy and said some going on the shelves and some to be sold. I am feeling positive.

That's great. Well done.

DM buys old crap for herself, she doesn’t normally bring it to us. But she goes crazy buying new things we don’t really need - last night she said I’ve bought new swimming costumes for the girls (they don’t need them), and some new trainers (the old ones are 6 weeks old and not box fresh but seriously who cares) and some new beach towels (the ones from last summer are just fine). She spends money she doesn’t have on stuff we don’t need and cannot store. And she will cry if I say no thank you. It comes from love I guess but here is a lot of control too. Breaking this programming is really hard. I feel it too OP.