To wish someone had written a manual for toddlers?

[Hobnobsarenotfordunking]

DS is 17 Months and I am constantly feeling like I’ve got no idea what I’m doing. I am getting everything wrong at the minute and am creating a child that I always swore I would never have!

DS doesn’t talk, he uses some sign language but no spoke words. He is a very whingy child who wants to be on my hip a lot.

He doesn’t eat any vegetables. To be fair he barely eats anything. Apart from yogurt, biscuits, and fruit.

He is obsessed with Peppa Pig. Asks for it constantly (uses sign), screams if he isn’t allowed it on. Wants to watch it on my phone when out and about.

How have I created a screen addict junk food toddler? I’m a teacher, I went on a weaning course, I have friends with children, I read books on babies. And yet I seem to have done it all wrong.

Does anyone have any advice on how I turn my whingy, Peppa obsessed, biscuit monster into a polite, independent toddler who eats broccoli and hummas?

Sorry this sounds like my toddler so I can’t give you advice but I’m patiently watching for any replies!

Forumqueen I’m glad there are two of us!

I’m preparing to be slammed by people for letting my child ever look at a screen or eat a biscuit. I honestly wish I never had now given the issues it seems to be causing!

Sounds like my toddler too

Exchange him for a better model?

Seriously though I think the majority of us are just winging it and hoping for the best

There are lots of books on toddlers but the toddlers just don’t read them 😀.
(Ps yours sounds perfectly normal)!

No advice, but I'm right there with you. DD is 15 months and doesn't want me. Doesn't seem interested in talking and won't let me change a nappy/clothes/brush teeth/comb hair/eat anything except sugary shit. Does it all like an angel for her Dad though. I am bored out of my mind and not getting anything back in terms of smiles/chat/cuddles is making me feel worthless. I've run out of things to say to her and don't feel like I've bonded with her at all. Baby DS is due in three months and I am terrified I'll get another the same. I won't cope. I know I won't.

Nobody tells you how absolutely hopeless a toddler can make you feel. Watching for advice from anyone who's survived one!

This is where I think it's really sad that the NHS have cut right back on health visitors, who can check over and give mums advice and reassurance. Re: Peppa, that will run its course so don't worry. Re: whinging & speech .....book a GP appointment and get his ears checked for glue ear, just to eliminate it. My DS (now 15!!!!) had glue ear for 2 years ...we thought he was just a slow boy and didn't have a clue!!

I think the majority of us are just winging it and hoping for the best - this is me.

My 15 month can be incredibly clingy and wingy - he kept signing for food earlier but didn't want me to put him down so I could get him his sodding lunch.

His favourite word is 'dada'. It's cute but is slightly grating when I'm the one that does pretty much everything for him and is with his all the time. Daddy also gets the biggest smiles as well[ envy]

At one point DD existed on breastmilk, goat cheese and cheesy puffs. When I tried to cut the cheesy puffs she started on mud and sand.
Bid your time, it's all "a phase".

won't let me change a nappy/clothes/brush teeth/comb hair/eat anything except sugary shit

Omg this is my 20 month old to last T!!

And you name also describes me perfectly

Mybaby sorry you are going through such a hard time at the minute. Today I really haven’t enjoyed my little one at all which I hate saying, but he has just whinged or cried all day.

Mine wants my attention all the time, but what he really wants is to sit on my knee and watched Peppa. If we go out he doesn’t want to walk he wants me to carry him. Or if he decides he does want to walk it’s so that he can find puddles to lie down in, or run off, or drag everything off the shelves in shops.

People keep asking me when I’m having a second, I can’t honestly say it fills me with dread at the minute! I really want DS to have a sibling, but I just can’t face being pregnant and looking after him.

Ha ha. My DS's first word was NO! accompanied by a headshake. It's all he said for ages. NO No No.
He's v embarrassed about it now!

No advice but just wanted to say you're not alone. D'S is 21 months and is a whiney toddler. Wants to be attached to me. Can't go to the toilet in peace. Has a meltdown over the smallest of things! Although he seems to be good for my parents. Maybe this is his plan 🤔😂 make it look like I'm making to It!

Omg Moita my toddler does this too!! So clingy sometimes....especially when he’s thirsty but he will refuse to be put down so I have to do a balancing act.

Does anyone have any advice on how I turn my whingy, Peppa obsessed, biscuit monster into a polite, independent toddler who eats broccoli and hummas?

My children love broccoli and hummus, and always have, so I can’t really help there, but I think you’re being a bit unreasonable to expect politeness and independence at 17 months! No doubt the perfect mummy brigade will be along to say how little Tarquin was fully self caring and writing his own thank you notes at one year old, but really, he’s only a baby still. You’re pretty much his whole world at the moment, of course he’s going to want to be with you all the time, and he will learn politeness from you, you just have to grit your teeth, and keeping persevering with it all. Is his dad around to give you some time to yourself when it all gets a bit much (or is there someone else who can do it)? It’s a tough time, but it won’t last forever. Good luck OP.

Just wait until he's 3/4 and then can argue back and try to reason with you about why he can't eat vegetables and needs to watch peppa bloody pig, everything should not be a debate and the phrase "it's not fair" should not be heard for at least another 10 years and I'm also a teacher with over 15 years experience in childcare and education I should know what I'm doing!

How is it that I can silence a hall full of children with just a raised eyebrow but trying to get my just turned 4 year old to do anything is like ww3!

God, DD2 was like this. Refused to talk, just pointed and signed for what she wanted. Also any form of child safety equipment was just a minor challenge for her so needed eyes in the back of my head. Thankfully in a flat at the time so no stairs but she did manage to get into the kitchen and microwave a book of hers in the 2 minutes I turned my back on her. Still, the firemen were very lovely and managed to get most of the smoke out of the flat and not too much damaged was done apart from my mental health

She's 12 now. She is still a challenging child, just in different ways. And she talks non stop.

It will pass, none of your toddlers sound broken. They all sound like perfectly normal toddlers.

Thanks Tinkobell, I will mention it to the GP next time we are there.

He understands basic commands- “where is your head/nose/tummy/teeth/toes”. He signs “where, cat, pig, Mr Tumble, please/thankyou, bye” and babbles but hasn’t done any spoke words yet. Unless you asks my childminder who says he can say “dog, again, more, and her name!”

I just stay out of the way once her Dad is home (he's just as disinterested as she is). Having another was a totally stupid idea. I can honestly say it's the hardest, most traumatic and distressing thing I've ever done, being her parent (can't bear to describe myself as Mum any more.) I live in hope that one day she decides to move out.

Sounds normal!

Have you tried holding off when he won't eat - don't offer biscuits but keep re-offering his dinner every 30 minutes. Eventually, hopefully, he will eat because he is really hungry.

My childminder does that too! In no way does it ever feel good!

If there was a manual rest assured the little buggers would find some way to rip, bite, draw/spill stuff all over it...
My toddler is slightly easier now she has more words but completely refuses the buggy. She is therefore able to flop to the floor whenever things aren’t going her way. Did it in a shop today because I wouldn’t let her pull a board full of accessories over.

Fishbiscuits, DH isn’t home from work until DS bedtime. Weekends are often one day at the football. My parents live near by and see DS often but never offer to have him for the day.

He goes to a childminder 3 days a week while I work. I have to work from home on Sundays doing all my planning and marking so quality time to myself is slim. He also doesn’t sleep well so I’m up with him several times in the night.

Hobnob it’s like your describing my life!! Going out is a chore!! He also never really like the pram or car seat. So you can imagine how hard it’s been for me also I don’t know if I can have another. I’m hoping someone can come on here and reassure us it gets better

Sounds like he's really annoying demanding peppa and the phone etc.. so if he's already pissed off then just cut it out 100%, he might be intolerable for a few days but then it'll improve. I let my two (both under 4) watch some telly but no devices (anymore, behaviour was disgraceful after using them).

The food.. I'm with you there. It's embarrassing. I did extended breastfeeding, baby led weaning blah blah and my eldest eats nothing.

I don't really bring my kids anywhere that isn't suited to them. So I'd never bring them to a mall for example, otherwise I just spend the whole time giving out. I know that means I can't achieve anything ever but it's less stressful. You almost need to mentally risk assess each outing. Is there likely to be a puddle? If so am I ok with him jumping in it? If not do I put him in a full on waterproof suit or just not go there.

I read somewhere (maybe here) that you should try have 5 positive interactions for every negative one. So if he has a tantrum because you won't give him your phone try find some things to praise him for. "I love how you've calmed down, you did a great job listening to me". "Wow that's a cool rock you found, is it heavy?". You get the gist,

Good luck!