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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wish someone had written a manual for toddlers?

96 replies

Hobnobsarenotfordunking · 05/04/2018 20:29

DS is 17 Months and I am constantly feeling like I’ve got no idea what I’m doing. I am getting everything wrong at the minute and am creating a child that I always swore I would never have!

DS doesn’t talk, he uses some sign language but no spoke words. He is a very whingy child who wants to be on my hip a lot.

He doesn’t eat any vegetables. To be fair he barely eats anything. Apart from yogurt, biscuits, and fruit.

He is obsessed with Peppa Pig. Asks for it constantly (uses sign), screams if he isn’t allowed it on. Wants to watch it on my phone when out and about.

How have I created a screen addict junk food toddler? I’m a teacher, I went on a weaning course, I have friends with children, I read books on babies. And yet I seem to have done it all wrong.

Does anyone have any advice on how I turn my whingy, Peppa obsessed, biscuit monster into a polite, independent toddler who eats broccoli and hummas?

OP posts:

BlueThesaurusRex · 05/04/2018 21:43

I wish I could use CBeebies on my 16month old- he won’t bloody sit still long enough to watch any TV I don’t know where he gets that from!!

He’s not a sleeper either so I feel your pain!

RebelRogue · 05/04/2018 21:55

Because how boring it would be to no be crying at least weekly that "you broke the baby"? Just kidding.

I come to your thread to bring hope. How arsey and patronising does it sound?

But... I'm on the other side of this(fucking finally)! Basically I had a baby that didn't eat much and didn't sleep. Then a toddler that didn't eat,sleep or talk. I honestly cried when she had her first Happy Meal, I could finally feed her something!

6 years on and she won't shut up,she's a sarcastic,funny,smart arse chatterbox. Her jokes are terrible but we laugh anyways.

Sleep has been the best improvement along with her ability to entertain herself if she wakes early/isn't tired, but during school she's asleep from 7-7:30 until 6-6:30. I never knew this kind of stuff was possible,always assumed it was a myth.

Food..still tricky but she actually eats now. Still hates veg and is actually afraid of tomatoes (I mean WTF?!?) but has 3 meals a day without too much fuss or panic over "what will she eat!!"

Age and school seem to be the biggest factors...everything else i tried in between never worked long term,just enough to lull me into a false sense of security, followed by "I broke the baaaabyyyy"!

hoopdeloop · 05/04/2018 21:55

I too am a teacher, have a 3 year old son and pregnant with my second. I try my ‘teacher stare’ on him and he just laughs and does it anyway. In the classroom that would stop a child in their tracks 🙈

I’m only beginning to get him to eat more than 3 types of fruit (today was a bit of satsuma where he sucked the juice out and presented me with the leftovers to eat )
Nobody ever has this parenting thing down to a fine art and those that profess they do are lying to themselves or will find themselves written about on the Stately Homes thread in years to come
to all, just wait until they have kids and we can watch it all happen to them!

InternetSchminternet · 05/04/2018 21:57

I think your 18 month old sound a lot like my now 2.5 year old when he was 18 months. He's outgrown Peppa and now like Bob The Builder (aaargjh!) he started taking and now literally doesn't shut up unless he's asleep, he's a fussy eater but likes what he likes. Honestly, I think yours sounds totally "normal". You'll look back at the stage your in now either fondly, or you'll laugh when you remember all his little fusses and foibles.

BustopherJones · 05/04/2018 22:07

Hobnob - he’ll be taking it all in. One day soon he’ll be away!

Rebel - tomatoes are disgusting! I love them now, but I remember thinking they were awful when I was a kid. All that slimy middle - I can still remember how disgusting I found them.

Do not listen to anyone who has got a toddler who eats anything. They have just not reached their picky phase yet.

SockQueen · 05/04/2018 22:18

My DS is 18 months and can talk but can't walk. The talking doesn't help toddler tedium much, to be honest - he's obsessed with doors so 80% of his speech is "out door" "open door" "shut door" "door door door fucking DOOR" Him not walking means I have to either carry him around the doors, or hold his hands while he staggers back and forth in and out endlessly. Until he happens to glimpse the TV and then it's "Piggle! Pakka!" (he's an ITNG obsessive, I took guidance from MN/friends and avoided Peppa).

I'm just assuming it will get better at some point. He's delightful in small amounts, but whole days send me crazy.

RebelRogue · 05/04/2018 22:24

For anyone that has access to it BabyTV seemed to work quite well and it was fairly bearable.

BustopherJones · 05/04/2018 23:25

TBF there are many manuals for toddlers. Just not mine...

RebelRogue · 05/04/2018 23:27

Do what works,don't do what doesn't work. If you're both crying ,it doesn't work.

GammaDelta · 05/04/2018 23:38

Thanks for this thread i so badly needed this today. I think all kids or most are the same.. My DS who is 4 yo, cries at almost anything and everything its a big task to get him to eat, shower, change ,brush, drink milk n sleep.... n i who do 90% of the work am told how he doesn't like me n wants to be with his dad only...

RebelRogue · 05/04/2018 23:46

@GammaDelta because you are there making him do all of those things while his dad isn't,and I assume they have fun instead of the daily grind.

BustopherJones · 06/04/2018 00:02

@GammaDelta If he could do all those things without you at 4, he’d be taking the piss a bit to still be living at home at 16.

‘If you do x every time they do y, they will soon learn it’s not acceptable’

I learned this was nonsense when I tried taking dd off the breast every time she bit me. She was too young to understand consequences. ‘That’s all there is to eat, it’s that or nothing’ she will just eat nothing. If captured by the enemy, she would never betray her platoon.

Narkle · 06/04/2018 06:42

See, when it comes to TV, you have to decide what they watch. Mine doesn't cry for stupid Peppa Pig. He cries for Metallica

GammaDelta · 06/04/2018 09:09

.@BustopherJones--‘That’s all there is to eat, it’s that or nothing’ she will just eat nothing. If captured by the enemy, she would never betray her platoon. this made me laugh.. problem is i am pressed for time . I bring him home from nursery around 5 then if i do not push him or help he will just be playing around till late n will wake up late the next day and as a result i am late for office.. how do i discipline him ... i usually feed him breakfast everyday n i have been told by in laws that i should key him eat at day care but i don't think he will eat properly... he is anyways underweight which is another thing . . I know he needs some tough love but just soo difficult somedays.

@RebelRogue you are right DH has long shifts n is either working from office or from home ... he is much more patient than i am..and at the end of the day i feel like a bad mum....

peachgreen · 06/04/2018 09:11

@Mybabystolemysanity I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine 18 months of feeling this way. It is truly shit. If there's anything I can do or you just want to vent at someone who understands, PM me.

BertieBotts · 06/04/2018 09:13

Sounds totally normal, he'll grow out of it :) I find the "Your 2 year old" and other years books to be helpful even though they are dated. It's observation rather than advice but I liked that.

Afreshcuppateaplease · 06/04/2018 09:18

Dc4 is 17 months

He has a good few words and eats pretty much anything put infront of him

But he LOVES bloody Peppa Pig. And the tantrums he has are just He especially hates the pram atm

SockQueen · 06/04/2018 11:18

GammaDelta you might be surprised by how well he eats at daycare - DS is pretty picky/distractible when eating with me but hoovers up pretty much everything every day at nursery! And naps for 2 hours without boobs. I swear they have some kind of witchcraft at work.

FreshStartToday · 06/04/2018 11:33

@Mybabystolemysanity I'm so sorry too that you're going through this. DS1 fought me all the way through toddlerhood too. I had planned to be a stay at home mum, but when he was 12 months, I was knocking on the door of my old work and begging them to let me back. My wages paid for the childcare.

If it's any help it did improve a bit when ds2 arrived, and provided a new focus for us both. I was able to be more proactive with ds1 - "We can't do that now, ds2 needs some food." "Lets do this now before ds2 wakes up" "Story time now for you, then you can choose a book for ds2".

Hang on in there. I thought I would love toddlers, but remember counting the days until they started school. And now they are teenagers, they are positively easy to manage

user1471426142 · 06/04/2018 11:40

So I have an independent broccoli/hummus loving toddler but she can still be a total pain . They’re all different and challenging in their own special ways. She’s tv obsessed but is very fickle and will have specific episodes in mind and you’re in trouble if they’re not on iplayer. This is a particular problem with Bing as she always wants one of the 60 odd that haven’t been on CBeebies for a while.

Also Independence has its own challenges so be careful what you wish for! At 21 months now she is very particular about clothes. She had an epic meltdown because I couldn’t find a specific purple and spotty hair clip for instance. She wants to dress herself despite being unable to fully do it and will kick off if you have the temerity to help her, she’ll also march to the fridge and prepare herself a snack even if you’ve said no. I fear she is going to turn into a ‘spirited’ child and we’ll have our work cut out for us when she hits proper toddler time. It’s just the way she is though. She’s been like a mini adult since coming out and has got herself into lots of scrapes because she has no fear.

Cottoneyed12 · 06/04/2018 12:03

Havnt read all replies but can confirm my toddler js the exact same. Its what toddlers do. My son now 6 was the same. Hes now a lovely boy. Eats well and not addicted to tv. Don't worry

kaytee87 · 06/04/2018 12:07

Sounds quite normal.

I find my 20mo is most amenable when he's had plenty sleep and isn't hungry. This means he needs to have his midday nap at home or he won't sleep for the 2 hours he needs. He also needs to eat every 2-3 hours, eats fairly healthily (not enough veg but only very occasional biscuits)

RoseRuby26 · 06/04/2018 12:15

If there's one thing you learn in teaching, it's that all children are different. Easy to say, but just accept that your child isn't ready to speak / play independently / eat varied diet etc. and know that they will at some point in the near future. Good luck!

Snoopyokay · 06/04/2018 12:35

My 2 year old is the same, I've got her onto Ben & Holly now as it's less annoying than P Pig. Also one of her first words was 'biscuit'! I've given up with worrying as she seems happy enough and I can always reminisce about the day's she ate avocado before she discovered the word No!

Igottastartthinkingbee · 06/04/2018 12:46

I’m just coming through the other side of toddler hell, youngest child is 3.5. Except she still reverts to the mental days of terrible twos quite often today and she’s become so bloomin defiant. So while I want to reassure you that he sounds normal OP I can’t lie and tell you that it simply won’t last! It’ll just change. DD definitely isn’t as bad as she used to be but my god she’s still putting up a fight!! How is someone so small so good at sapping my energy and patience levels?! DS on the hand was very similar at 2years old but is a pretty easy child (mostly) now he’s almost 6. So I’m hoping probably in vain for a similar transformation from DD.

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