To wish someone had written a manual for toddlers?

[Hobnobsarenotfordunking]

DS is 17 Months and I am constantly feeling like I’ve got no idea what I’m doing. I am getting everything wrong at the minute and am creating a child that I always swore I would never have!

DS doesn’t talk, he uses some sign language but no spoke words. He is a very whingy child who wants to be on my hip a lot.

He doesn’t eat any vegetables. To be fair he barely eats anything. Apart from yogurt, biscuits, and fruit.

He is obsessed with Peppa Pig. Asks for it constantly (uses sign), screams if he isn’t allowed it on. Wants to watch it on my phone when out and about.

How have I created a screen addict junk food toddler? I’m a teacher, I went on a weaning course, I have friends with children, I read books on babies. And yet I seem to have done it all wrong.

Does anyone have any advice on how I turn my whingy, Peppa obsessed, biscuit monster into a polite, independent toddler who eats broccoli and hummas?

The Peppa thing is completely normal. When DS1 went through it he was with a very experienced childminder who said she had never come across a child who didn’t have a Peppa obsession phase. It passes...

You haven't done anything wrong, i have 5 and they are all completely different, you have to accept the child you have and just do the best you can for him. (And yourself). My first existed on eggs, yogurts, and cheese, she is grown up now and no ill affects. One suggestion i would make is to only let him watch peppa pig if you can put him down, no negoiation, that way you might get a cup of tea and a few minutes peace.

Toddlers are a nightmare - I went back to work 3 days at 12 months and by 18 months I’d gone back up to full time. It saved my sanity! Got a 3 year gap between DC (DS2 is nearly 3) so I’ve been in the toddler phase for 4 years now!!!!

Haven't read the full thread so apologies if this hasn't been said:-

1. Babies are like adults, they take things out on the ones they are closest too. Hence mummy will get the screaming, crying child, whilst nanny gets the angel.

2. They call it the terrible twos for a reason. But that doesn't mean they start a two. It can be several months before. They are starting to get that 'independence' part of them developing. Hence the running off, pulling things off shelves, refusing food, being changed, bathed etc.

3. IT WILL PASS. It is a phase. They will then move on to the next, and the next and the next and so on. And there are challenges at every stage.

4. To have days where you want to lock yourself in a room on your own and just drink one hot drink instead of it cold, is normal. However, if these feelings are prolonged, please have a chat with your GP or HV.

5. No two babies are the same. Many people find out they are like chalk and cheese. So don't worry that number two will be exactly the same. But again if you are feeling very down whilst pregnant, a trip to the midwife or GP would be a good idea.

6. There is a lot of truth in the 'forgetting the bad times'. I can remember ds2 was a pain the ass in the nights, but I now can't put my finger on exactly when he was up or for how long. Those negative associations have gone.

Mines 16 months and her only words are chocolate, chips, cheese and biscuits so far but I'm a bit proud of it tbh she nods and shakes her head to indicate yes or no, but doesn't always mean it. I spoke no words until 2.5 so haven't given her communication much thought.

Despite my best efforts she won't sit still to concentrate on TV and, as annoying as it must be for you, consider the fact that those of us with children uninterested in TV have to keep them entertained all day long without screens. I'm a hugr background TV watcher too so she's had Netflix on continuously since I was 33 weeks pregnant and she still doesn't give a shit. I think she was overxposed if anything as it goes on when she wakes up and is on til bedtime so she doesn't care.

I’m pretty relaxed about tv as I loved it as a kid and was also an obsessive reader, and very into imaginitive play. I work in the arts so just never grew up. I think there is a bit too much moral panic about ‘screen time’ but I am unusual amongst friends for this.

I have a 20 month old peppa pig addict who ate 6 grapes and a tablespoon of peanut butter for breakfast. She threw her eggs and toast on the floor with a raging "NO!" She's challenging to my patience. She seems insanely angry or adorably clingy. She's my third so I know it will pass.

I have the kind of job where I tell parents and schools how to manage children with behaviour problems. My toddler is still a challenge. We go outside a lot. I think the government should give national trust memberships to parents of toddlers for their own sanity.

Your baby sounds normal. It will pass.

Mine's 20m old, has a good range of words but the one most used is no, that and a lot of gesturing towards what she wants getting angrier and angrier that we don't understand.
She also has a hissy fit when it comes to teeth brushing, even with strawberry toothpaste. (any tips to make this easier appreciated!)
Good and bad but TV and screens don't really entertain her for long, she loves books, only issue there is i can't take 2 boxes of books on holiday!
She also mostly worships daddy so he generally gets the good sweet baby and i get the squirmy hard to please baby. I do miss newborn days sometimes......

Ineedwine I brush my teeth at the same time as DD does hers and turn it into some kind of game, seems to work!

I would say it’s nothing you’ve done (any of you!) and it’s mostly down to the natural personality of the child.

My 21 month old DD loves her fruit and veg. She can talk in full sentences, asks us for things and tells us what she wants. She says please and thank you without being prompted.

I don’t feel that I have specifically taught her to be like this. She has always been advanced with her speech (saying two words together from nine months) and we taught her sign language (or rather Mr Tumble did!).

I’m not a super mum. We have CBeebies on ALL day. She goes through phases of being obsessed with certain shows and then she loses interest. She doesn’t watch it all day, but when something catches her eye it gives me a few minutes to do something.

She has the odd biscuit or cake but doesn’t ask for them. She does beg for chocolate though!

What I am trying to say is that kids will be who they will be. There’s little you can do to influence it.

I agree with not making an issue with food. I’ve always been laidback about it and if she refuses dinner for a few days I let it go. It’s hard sometimes, but nothing teaches you patience and tolerance like having a toddler.

I know we’ve been lucky with our daughter so far. The worst thing is that she is very possessive with her toys (and me), and the fact she calls me “Flop”! When I correct her she calls me “mummy Flop”!

I’m probably crazy but I think having a toddler is great fun!

15 month old here, only eats fruit and pasta, says 2-3 words (not mamma/mummy 🙄 though), love him dearly and he can be an angel but has suddenly entered a really wilful, tantrum prone phase and I’m terrified of what else is to come if this is just the start of it!

He’s not clingy, which is one thing.. but he’s almost too much the other way, runs away whenever possible and NEVER comes back to me when I call him, he has no interest in returning to me- ever.

He never responds to his name (he does know his name, he just ignores me). Into absolutely everything and if I dare prevent him, the resulting anger is out of this world!

Well today being another day and all I have a toddler who has been a delight all day. No major tantrums, been swimming and didn’t fuss when getting ready and has eaten spag Bol for tea!

However he has bitten me several times and laughed!

Tomorrow it may all change again.

we are all winging it, none of us know what we are really doing! Give yourself a break, least your child is eating and getting regular baths with the puddles!

Toddlers,children and teenagers should all come with a manual,so you can smack them with it!
(Just kidding!)

Does anyone have any advice on how I turn my whingy, Peppa obsessed, biscuit monster into a polite, independent toddler who eats broccoli and hummas?

Toddlers from about 15 months to 2.5 are the pits. I've survived one to tell the tale, and went on to have another so can't have been that traumatic 😂

Peppa pig phase will pass soon, and I can confirm this is the worst of all the kids TV shows, yet they all seem hooked! Don't know why. Peppa is a twat. But TV wise it can only get better for you

He'll talk soon, 17 months is still so young. In about a year you'll look back at fondness of the silent months when you wish he'd STFU after asking "but why" for the 1,000th time that day.

Food-wise - chop vegetables up and mix it in their dinner. An oldie but a goody. My almost 5yo seems to have got fussier since starting school, she has no idea her 'plain' pasta sauce has finely chopped onion and courgette in it

Finally, take deep breaths and say "this too shall pass". It really does, it's all a phase but perspective is hard to come back when your life is ruled by a pint sized dictator

Hi there. Have any of you discovered the 'Aha' Parenting website, by Dr Laura Markham ? There's lots of excellent advice there and short video tutorials too. She's excellent and the website allows you to navigate to exactly the challenges you are facing and the age groups you're after. Hope this helps. Try not to wish this time away, it goes sooner than you think... ! x

After the most amazing and prolonged tantrum in the history of the world about knickers versus nappy ('no nappy no toilet me knickers' screamed at me for two hours interspersed with a short wee free knicker wearing nap, ending after Niagara falls wee on landing) it is refreshing to read that others are in this too. A friend has just told me that anybody who says their toddler doesn't do this is lying.
The trouble with a manual is that each time i think i have cracked it, the world's biggest curve ball hits ....
I am also awful today as i won't let then sit on the half of the hob not in use. Or play with scissors. Or jump on grandparents glass coffee table

I am actually missing year 9 over these hols

15 month old has a cold. Everything is making him cry. I'm repeating the 'this too will pass' mantra.

You're describing my ds to a tea.

We've left a 5 year age gap before having number two

Teacher here too so completely understand Sunday's. Actually, when I return from maternity I'm considering an extra day of childcare to cover the work at home so weekends aren't over run with work - as ds was such hard work on my days off.

I must say, he's a dream 5 year old most of the time.

'Toddler discipline without shame' by Janet Lansbury and 'how to talk to little kids and how to listen' were my saviours (JL was good for School actually!) - but I ignore some of Janet's advice not to distract / bribe as often it's necessary to get through.

18 mo was the turning point for the worse . To about 3.5/4. I found being outside was mostly the key. But I didn't go anywhere without emergency chocolate buttons (for both of us).