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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have ran after the delivery bloke in my dressing gown?

142 replies

Mmmboppp · 04/04/2018 18:19

So most Friday night's my sister and BIL and my ex H will come round for a takeaway/tipple.

We usually go to the same place each time because it's nice food, quick delivery etc.

BIL or Ex H answers the door whilst we get the plates. It's always same driver in red cavalier.

Can always hear BIL/exHmaking small talk, weather, busy? Etc

So they haven't been for a few weeks so me and DP decide to order. My DP is a woman.

Food arrives and door opens, she says hello, thankyou, is there drinks? And thanks goodnight.

All silence besides that, I thought it must have been my hearing but when she walks in I said "did he reply to you?"
She says 'no. He ignored me completely. Wouldn't even look at me

So I ran out Blush and asked why he felt it acceptable to completely ignore a customer when she was talking to him and to not even say you're welcome when thanked. First he pretended he couldn't hear me then pretended he didn't speak english. I know he does because we've ordered from them for over a year!

He half mumbled 'sorry' (whilst looking through receipts Hmm and wound the window up and drove off.

This was last night. I was going to call the shop but thought nothing would be done.

But AIBU to he annoyed that he would have a full convo with BIL and DH but wouldnt even look at my girlfriend?

OP posts:
MarthaArthur · 04/04/2018 19:45

nicknacky because it is. A man has refused to acknowledge a woman. How is it anything different? I can well believe it because i work in a male dominated area and on average at least 2 men a day will refuse to acknowledge me and the other female i work with.

Coconutspongexo · 04/04/2018 19:47

Yeah let’s complain about someone who doesn’t want to have small talk and who is probably earning next to nothing - what’s one more unemployed person ay?

Nicknacky · 04/04/2018 19:47

martha Maybe he just plain didn’t like her attitude? Nothing to do with if she was male or female. He might have nodded in answer to her questions but the op over reacted.

MarthaArthur · 04/04/2018 19:48

Nodding is rude if he did that. I doubt the ops dp had an attitude that rendered the delivery driver completely silent.

RavenLG · 04/04/2018 19:50

They have to be told it's not acceptable here....
WOW.
I would avoid you like a bad smell as well.

SparklyMagpie · 04/04/2018 19:53

How was your food though?

Nicknacky · 04/04/2018 19:53

How is nodding rude in response to a question?!

Littleredboat · 04/04/2018 19:54

You spend most of your Friday nights in your dressing gown with your ex husband and your lesbian lover?

Yeah, the delivery driver is the dramatic part of this story.

NotACleverName · 04/04/2018 19:55

He's a "mysognistic [sic] cunt" is he, OP?

Good god, you're extrapolating wildly over the tiniest imagined slight. How was he to know your DP is your DP (unless he's psychic or she goes around wearing a sign saying "hi, I'm Mmmboppp's DP...")? He could have just been having a bad day and didn't want to talk to anyone.

You'd look like a complete fruit cake if you called the shop.

MarthaArthur · 04/04/2018 19:57

Nodding in response to a question is very rude. Would you be happy for a shopkeeper to answer your questions via nod? Or bank teller or anyone else? Well maybe you would but people with manners dont.

UncleNugget · 04/04/2018 19:58

No-one gives a shit about your sexuality or who answers the door at your house. It really isn't news. Your racism is pretty disgusting though.

RebelRogue · 04/04/2018 19:58

So he didn't say any word at all? No hello,no here's your order no nothing?!? Not even a sound?

Are you even sure it was the same guy? Doesn't seem like you were ever around when the food was delivered.

Some of the delivery drivers i get are very friendly and helpful,they interact with me,DD and they're one step away from offering to actually cook the food for me. Some barely mutter here's your receipt and forget to even ask for bags.

usernomnomnom · 04/04/2018 20:03

To be fair OP, I'd probably be smirking after having a telling off from someone ranting and raving after chasing me in their dressing gown....... Wink

I think you may (definitely) have overreacted. I agree with PP that it does read like you were waiting to take offence. It's probably not the case but it doesn't read well.

Nicknacky · 04/04/2018 20:05

martha For all we know he had a sore throat or laryngitis, would it be acceptable then to nod if he were unwell?

Coconutspongexo · 04/04/2018 20:06

Martha you should very touchy and easily offended tbh

Coconutspongexo · 04/04/2018 20:07

Sound not should

WingsOnMyBoots · 04/04/2018 20:08

You can't force people to be polite or to speak! That's rude and controlling behaviour in itself.

CadyHeron · 04/04/2018 20:09

Oh,I missed the "they!" comment. Wowzers. That's very loaded. YABU. Even more so.

Gabilan · 04/04/2018 20:14

He was obviously a mysognistic cunt

You might want to rethink that phrase, unless you were going for the ultimate line in internalised hatred.

You weren't there

Neither were you by the sound of things. You heard what happened but didn't see it.

He treated her with utter discontempt

Not sure if English is your first language or not but the last one isn't a recognised word. I do agree that there are many rude, nasty, misogynist wankers about. I cannot tell from this account if the delivery driver is one of them or not. I'm pretty sure if he was, you chasing him in your dressing gown won't have changed his mind.

MoodyTwo · 04/04/2018 20:16

Wow my delivery driver never speaks a word to me

CadyHeron · 04/04/2018 20:19

Wow my delivery driver never speaks a word to me

Maybe you need to chase him down the street in your nightie or dressing gown next time,he might say hello to you then Grin

upsideup · 04/04/2018 20:29

Maybe he had a horrible day?
Maybe he was feeling ill?
Maybe he didnt hear your DP?
Maybe he was suprised to see your DP answer the door as for ages he had been opening it to someone else?
Maybe your DP is as aggresive and confrontational as you and he just wanted to get away?
Maybe he only talks to BiL/ExH because he has delivered to the for a while and built up that relationship?
Maybe he was surpised to see your DP also in her nightwear (if she was)?
Maybe it wasnt the same guy? Since you never bother opening the door of your own house and only hear the other guy talking to BiL/ExH?

HeebieJeebies456 · 04/04/2018 20:32

Maybe it's because he knows we are gay but he had a problem with her
I bet you've been itching to create drama around your sexuality for ages...
Running after him in your dressing gown to berate him - sooooo attention seeking!

I've had it before with taxi drivers. They have to be told it's not acceptable here
'THEY'?!! So you've got an issue with perceived discrimination against your dp but have no problem dishing it out to others? Hmm

He was obviously a mysognistic cunt
I think you're projecting your own fucked up dynamics and frustrations onto him......seeing as you adhere to the stereotypical gender roles in your own house when there's a mixed group -
BIL or Ex H answers the door whilst we get the plates (hmm) (hmm)

MyLearnedFriend · 04/04/2018 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 04/04/2018 20:37

Was it a nice dressing gown,a water silk with delicate embroidery or a honking threadbare towelling job
Makes all the difference

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