For my friend not to tip

[kangar00]

My friend suggested we meet up at a local chain restaurant as they are currently doing kids meal free with any adult main. On arrival she said that she has taken advantage of this offer lots over the holidays. She ordered a £7.95 salad and tap water. When we came to pay she put out £8 cash. I was paying by card so tried to subtly hint saying 'would you like me to add a tip' to which she replied 'I'm not working at the moment so i don't tip' and then walked off to take her daughter to the loo. I paid and added 10% of my meal. Is she being unreasonable to take advantage of this offer so often (about 4 times over the last 2 weeks) and pay the bare minimum or maybe she is just being savvy? I would feel really awkward returning to the same place knowing I was being a bit of a cheap skate. So as not to drip feed, it is true that she isn't working and has a preschooler. On the other hand she has a BTL (no mortgage on it) and has chosen not to work. However she is a single mum so this makes it harder. I suppose I most impressed/taken back by her confidence in saying she won't tip.

If something is Custom or not is decided on mass by the majority doing it.

I would be surprised if the majority of the UK voluntarily tip in this day and age.

Absolute straw man / whataboutery I’m afraid.
Eating out is a discretionary spend and the enjoyment of the experience relates directly to the service.

What has it being a discretionary spend and related to someone doing their job properly got to do with whether you should be paying more than the listed price? My enjoyment of a play is directly related to how good the actors are, I don't tip them even when they're brilliant.

Dangeregg - Jamie’s Italian are doing ‘kids eat free’ with every adult meal till 13th April.

OH, you do have to be in the ‘gold club’ though. Which isn’t a free club

IS a free club.

I'd have been embarrassed and put in some extra tip myself. All my friends tip and, like a pp, I tip based on the full value rather than discounted. I only don't tip if the service has been poor.

I can’t believe you lot, I really can’t.
OP, YANBU. I would be mortified in the same situation. Why do people think they don’t have to tip (& 10% is a small amount after all) when they go out for a meal? If she can afford to eat out she can afford an 80p tip.

If you can’t afford to tip, don’t eat out.

I will also bet the majority of the tight feckers who say they never tip have never waited on people in a restaurant.

"I'd like to see all of you who say you never tip and that the serves don't deserve it work as a waiter/waitress for a week in one of these places and put up with all the crap waitresses have to, then see if you rethink your stance on tipping."

I've worked as a waitress. I still don't tip in cafes or basic restaurants and definitely not if it's not table service and I have to go to the bar to order my meal.
If out with a large group having an elaborate meal, I might do.

" Why do people think they don’t have to tip "

Because they don't have to. It's not compulsory, as people have noted many times.

I always tip and had to stop going out for a meal with a friend who not only didn’t tip, but told me when he went out for a meal with his brother he took the £5 tip off the table and pocketed it himself!

I’m genuinely surprised at how many people don’t tip.
I also tip my hairdresser and black cab drivers. Maybe, as others have said, it’s a London thing.

"Well the restaurant won't want many people going in, only buying one adult meal and that being the cheapest thing on the menu, not buying any drinks and taking the free child's meal. If everyone did that, the offer wouldn't last long. They want people to spend more than that to make it worthwhile."

Maybe so, but if they've decided on that offer, it's a risk they have to take.

We eat out lots and always get great service but I don't tip

Very poor behaviour

I tip if the service warrants it. Sorry, but I do not get the whole tipping of hairdressers, cab drivers, waitresses just BECAUSE.

Someone said serving staff don't get paid much. I can think of lots of jobs that are minimum wage or thereabouts and I don't see them being tipped.

We don’t have a tipping culture in the UK.

This has been said several times now. It’s not true. I eat out probably twice a month, with friends and colleagues. We always tip. There is never any question that we will tip.

We might discuss how much change we have or if we can add a tip to a card, we never just don’t tip.

My partner and I also tip takeaway drivers which is more unusual. But in restaurants a tip is standard.

I think this is one of those “only on mumsnet” things. OP, your initial instinct to tip was fine. I’m surprised you’re now telling yourself you won’t bother.

If you can't afford to tip don't eat out
Absolute rubbish. There's no reason why people should have to pay more than the price on the menu. Waiting staff aren't a special category that deserve more than their wages to be topped up by the customer.
I must admit, I've always tipped waiting staff but after reading some of the entitled views on here (on previous threads on the subject) has actually made me reconsider.

Rhiwrites the tipping culture is a throwback from pre minimum wage days. People are questioning that now as many workers (perhaps the customers themselves) are on minimum wage.

Nurses aren't allowed to accept tips but I always buy biscuits and chocolates for the nursing team if a loved one is in hospital.

I waitressed full time for two years pre-NMW. Tips were not expected, but were nice to get. I was good at and enjoyed my job and could usually do quite well.

That said, I will only tip if service is noticeably good, and then only in cash. I usually ask the wait staff if they get their tips - if it's a yes, or they choose to share them that's fine. Otherwise, no. And I never pay a service charge on a card transaction.

Consequently, I tip well at my local Patisserie Valerie because the staff are exceptional, and left nothing at a £60 a head place as the wait staff were snotty, rude and consistently fucked up with no apology.

Having said all that, I'm wondering why you spend time with this woman Kangar00, as you clearly don't like her and are incredibly judgemental about how she lives.

If she can afford to eat out, she can afford an 80p tip

An 80p could be seen as offensive. If I worked at one of the chains OP is taking about, which isn't even table service, making an honest living just like everyone else does, and someone handed me some change, I would probably feel a bit gutted and like a charity case.
If I was in a higher end restaurant, or at least one with full table service, I would leave about £5 if the meal was nice and had had good service.
Same with hairdressers, if I went for a trim where there was a tipping box, I'd put a few quid in. But I would never tip at my current salon, it costs an arm and a leg and the stylists are making a really good living.
I wonder if some of the aghast tippers on here actually realise that in some scenarios, their generosity is actually quite condescending and not appropriate for the setting?

I don't see a problem with it and I've been a waitress before. Tipping is optional and she's right to economise if she's not working. Also a lot of places unfairly distribute tips so it's not always clear they're going to the right people.

Yesterday 16:26 chocolateavocado99

I am probably in the minority.
I spent several years working in restaurants and I think she was being cheap. I know tipping is optional, but restaurant staff are paid very badly and many rely on tips to pay their rent.

Not in this country. There is national living and minimum wages, so why should others, who are paid the same, but don't get tipped, tip others on the same rate?

Very poor behaviour

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TIP.
Good for you if you do, but lots don't. I was just disputing the fact that people say stuff like "but, but, if you don't tip you don't get a good table, they'll sit you by the bogs and then spit in your drink".
Cos yeah,they don't.
IN THE UK. Maybe London where someone has already mentioned the cheeky feckers who add it to your bill automatically so you have to pay.
It honestly isn't a big thing if you don't here though. Lots of people don't. Why pay some Minimum wage staff but not others? It makes zero sense when you actually stop and think about it,

lots of people on lots of jobs are paid poorly. I never tip.

I don’t often tip. We use taxis and through knowing them I tip occasionally if I have the extra pound but if I’m going out for a meal I just budget for that meal and no extras. They are paid so I don’t need to pay them. I have tipped my hairdresser recently, that’s because I’ve been going there a while now and she always does a great job and made me feel confident going for a really short cut and we did so gradually so I wouldn’t thrown straight in. I then didn’t get nervous so I always go back. I tipped for her kindness and her help not for the actual work if you know what I mean.