For my friend not to tip

[kangar00]

My friend suggested we meet up at a local chain restaurant as they are currently doing kids meal free with any adult main. On arrival she said that she has taken advantage of this offer lots over the holidays. She ordered a £7.95 salad and tap water. When we came to pay she put out £8 cash. I was paying by card so tried to subtly hint saying 'would you like me to add a tip' to which she replied 'I'm not working at the moment so i don't tip' and then walked off to take her daughter to the loo. I paid and added 10% of my meal. Is she being unreasonable to take advantage of this offer so often (about 4 times over the last 2 weeks) and pay the bare minimum or maybe she is just being savvy? I would feel really awkward returning to the same place knowing I was being a bit of a cheap skate. So as not to drip feed, it is true that she isn't working and has a preschooler. On the other hand she has a BTL (no mortgage on it) and has chosen not to work. However she is a single mum so this makes it harder. I suppose I most impressed/taken back by her confidence in saying she won't tip.

We don’t have a tipping culture in the UK. It’s why it’s outright banned in some places. This is not the States where servers are allowed to be underpaid and assumed to make enough in tips to get them to minimum wage.

I only tip if I've had decent service. If I went somewhere for a lunch, a chain restaurant and just had an order taken and food brought to me, I wouldn't. If I've had to call them over several times and they've been helpful and pleasant then I would. If your child spills a drink or drops stuff etc and the staff and great with them then yes. If it's the evening and a biggish party then yes.
But if it's an irritated waiter who clearly can't be arsed then no.
Both my husband and I have worked in the industry and agree that tipping is for good service. And as you get paid to do your job you shouldn't be relying on the tips, and if you are then go out of your way to be a good server.
I also only tip cash. Bearing in mind tipping is around 10% for an £8 meal it's not much. I can't imagine where these deals are offered they expect that much.

I think Aibu was the wrong place for this

you did ask a question, and people replied.

Reasonable to take advantage of offer? YES, she is money -savvy.
Confident to not tip? Absolutely, well done her. She doesn't feel like she has anything to prove to anyone.

If the starbucks down my office was doing a special offer for breakfast, they would see me every day. Who would chose not to go for special offer? What a strange idea.

I tip as long as service is good, DH is a very generous tipper and for outstanding service and food has tipped 20%.

The waiter/waitress isn't just bringing your food, they're clearing disgusting after you and wiping up the half eaten food your child threw or dropped on the flaw whilst on their knees and at the same time having other customers bug them for bad service or being too slow. It is a hard job, one that deserved to be paid above minimum wage and if big chain companies won't do it then customers should. pfft please I waitress and work in a kitchen and your dramatizing it to the max. Clearing plates even half empty ones is par for the course and if you find it that disgusting then your in the wrong profession. I don't think it does require to be paid above minimum wage, it would be nice but it's a skilless job that pretty much anyone can do. Care workers deserve above minimum wage. Waitressing not so much.

I think it’s tight and if you can’t afford to tip then don’t eat out.

I think it’s tight and if you can’t afford to tip then don’t eat out

Sod off. Poor people don't need to sit at home because they can't afford to give their money away to people who earn more than them, and you should be ashamed of yourself for suggesting it!

I’m confused. Why is that being a cheap skate? She bought a meal and got the kids one free, which was their offer.
She didn’t tip? Well either do a lot of people. I don’t tip usually either!

@Petitepamplemousse make me

They're just being goady, YourWanMajella. Imagine if all those people who couldn't/wouldn't tip - stayed at home - as prescribed by the short-sighted posters? Empty restaurants = zero jobs, nevermind tips.

I agree with Beardy, if I want to tip anybody when I'm eating 'out', it's the chefs - or the breakfast waiting staff in a hotel - they knock the spots off the other waiting staff; possibly because they aren't always expecting tips for doing their jobs?

It's not for Joe Public to make up wages, that's for the companies themselves to do. The fact that they're not doing it shows that they think they're paying at the right level and quite frankly, NMW - if it's ok for caring/nursing etc. - it's fine for a non-essential service like eating out.

I’m really surprised how few people are saying they tip.

I’m a tipper, and take the view that there is a 15% tip as default, and I might remove it in the case of terrible service, which is a way of expressing dissatisfaction (although I like to tell them to give them the chance to fix it first).

I wouldn’t have said we don’t have a tipping culture here tbh.

It's a £7.95 meal - she doesn't need to tip. I don't usually tip, unless it is exceptional service or I am with friends who suggest it. I think YABU to expect her to tip.

She didn't tip- all the background info you've given about her is neither here nor there. I can guess which establishment you were in and I'd think tipping wouldn't really be the norm there anyway.
You seem to think she's been robbing food off them repeatedly. No. Think of it this way: these chains lay on offers to attract custom. Your friend was happy enough with the offer and the quality of the meal to have gone back several times. She's getting a good deal and the brand now have a loyal customer. She's also brought you along so now they've made even more money. It's all good!

The waiter/waitress isn't just bringing your food, they're clearing disgusting after you and wiping up the half eaten food your child threw or dropped on the flaw whilst on their knees and at the same time having other customers bug them for bad service or being too slow

And the Nurse or carer who literally wipes up shit and vomit?
The council employees who are the front line of an underfunded service?
The Supermarket checkout operator who scans your shopping fast enough for you?

What percentage do you tip them?

My Mum taught me when I was aged about 10 to tip hairdressers, cabbies and waiters cos they live off their tips. My mum was born before WW2, so if we don't have a culture of tipping it must be a new fangled thing. And can I just add - 8 English pounds for a salad?!! Zut.

And the Nurse or carer who literally wipes up shit and vomit?

Absolute straw man / whataboutery I’m afraid.

Eating out is a discretionary spend and the enjoyment of the experience relates directly to the service. There is absolutely a custom of tipping in this county in restaurants at 10% and those who differ on this are simply making excuses for their own lack of etiquette.

Sure don’t tip if service was poor but don’t bother trying saying someone is so hard up that they can eat out 4 times in 14 days but couldn’t stretch to a total of £4 to tip the server if they did a good job.

Yeah, before WW2 was pre minimum wage though.We have that now. For approx 20 years/just under.
Carers get min wage.
Dish washer uppers at back of house get min wage.
Supermarket cashiers can get min wage.

It's so strange how people unquestioningly tip some jobs but wouldn't dream of doing for others.
(And in some cases it wouldn't be allowed to accept.)

There is absolutely a custom of tipping in this county in restaurants at 10% and those who differ on this are simply making excuses for their own lack of etiquette.

There might be in London where they decide to add it to your bill automatically and regardless,but it seriously isn't in other places.
We eat out lots and always get great service but I don't tip. It's nice, but it honestly isn't expected.

KtheGrey..... that was from a time long ago though, before the NMW was introduced in 1999, to ensure everyone was paid a minimum amount, and that nobody had to try to live off 'tips' - or as you could think of them 'donations' from other people. You know so everyone earns a proper amount and doesn't have to beg and grovel for their money. We've moved on, fortunately.

There are so many chain restaurants now where you pay when you order or pay on an app so tipping is soon going to be obsolete.

I only tip if it's been incredible service or with a big group. Very rarely if just me and friends of DH. I never tip anyone else apart from wait staff. Never have cash on me anyway.

Community carers are on minimum wage, go into people's rank houses and do loads for their clients. Including grim things their families wouldn't ever consider helping with. They don't get a lousy £2 donation from these people that they see every day!

"My Mum taught me when I was aged about 10 to tip hairdressers, cabbies and waiters cos they live off their tips. My mum was born before WW2, so if we don't have a culture of tipping it must be a new fangled thing."

That was before NMW and tax credits, which completely changes the landscape in terms of who is and isn't "living off tips".

YABU. I don’t tip anyone in the UK. Never have and never will. It is not necessary in this country.

If you only tip certain NMW sectors and not others, you are being a massive hypocrite.

By saying she’s going so often and “taking advantage of the offer” and calling her a cheapskate, I presume if a shop has an offer on of say two bottles of coke for a £1, a shop you frequent, you don’t just pay the bare minimum. You’re not a cheapskate too, right?

Were you at Frankie and Bennys OP?

I think everyone is missing a vital piece of info, she paid £8 for a £7.95 meal, so she did tip!! 😂

YABU for expecting her to tip, it’s a personal choice!

it's not mandatory to tip in the UK like America so you are being unreasonable