For my friend not to tip

[kangar00]

My friend suggested we meet up at a local chain restaurant as they are currently doing kids meal free with any adult main. On arrival she said that she has taken advantage of this offer lots over the holidays. She ordered a £7.95 salad and tap water. When we came to pay she put out £8 cash. I was paying by card so tried to subtly hint saying 'would you like me to add a tip' to which she replied 'I'm not working at the moment so i don't tip' and then walked off to take her daughter to the loo. I paid and added 10% of my meal. Is she being unreasonable to take advantage of this offer so often (about 4 times over the last 2 weeks) and pay the bare minimum or maybe she is just being savvy? I would feel really awkward returning to the same place knowing I was being a bit of a cheap skate. So as not to drip feed, it is true that she isn't working and has a preschooler. On the other hand she has a BTL (no mortgage on it) and has chosen not to work. However she is a single mum so this makes it harder. I suppose I most impressed/taken back by her confidence in saying she won't tip.

There's no obligation to tip. Yes, it's nice, but it isn't compulsory and anyone who looks down on anyone else or judges them for not tipping is ridiculous!

I can’t believe how many people are so tight and self absorbed. I consider tipping the wait staff as part of the expense of going out, if I can’t afford to pay them for their efforts then I can’t afford to go out.

I also always tip 20%. I treat people as I would like to be treated. Having said that, tipping can have its advantages. If a barman knows you tip with every round you can bet your arse you will be served quickly regardless how busy the bar gets.

As soon as I am left with money at the end of the money that I think I can give away for free, I’ll start tipping! 😂

There's a poetic irony in you calling other people self absorbed... And then your subsequent comments judging others

I'm gonna go against the grain here and say i think your friend WBU.

I was a waitress for just over a year and customers treat you awfully, they're demanding and loud. Customer's with children who eat slowly, get all the toys out and make a mess are even worse.

The waiter/waitress isn't just bringing your food, they're clearing disgusting plates after you and wiping up the half eaten food your child threw or dropped on the flaw whilst on their knees and at the same time having other customers bug them for bad service or being too slow. It is a hard job, one that deserved to be paid above minimum wage and if big chain companies won't do it then customers should.

I now work a different job and am a student but from my experience as a waitress i always tip (unless the server was particularly rude). I'd like to see all of you who say you never tip and that the serves don't deserve it work as a waiter/waitress for a week in one of these places and put up with all the crap waitresses have to, then see if you rethink your stance on tipping.

if I can't afford to pay them them for their efforts then I can't afford to go out
They are paid a wage by their employers. That's how wages normally work, I don't see why you think the customer should top their wages up.

Loads of jobs have crappy elements though, not just wait staff. You aren't signing up for tips, you're signing up for the advertised wage as per the job description

I hate tipping. It's so cringeworthy, this giving extra, a 'here's a present of money' for what? Doing. Their. Jobs!
The school don't tip me for bringing my kids in on time. I don't get discounted food for using self checkouts.

Servers are paid no less than minimum wage, same as a lot of other jobs.

A care assistant does a fuck load more than a server yet gets no tips.

Unless someone has gone above and beyond, why should I pay more for my meal??

It's cheeky to expect her to tip!

I generally won't.

Which restaurant, I'd like to get this offer

Can't really say if YABU or not, as I don't understand what you are asking if YABU about.

I don't think your friend was BU. The restaurant advertised a price for a meal deal, and she took them up on it. That's what they advertised it for - to tempt people in who might not otherwise come in.
If you are asking if YABU to judge, then yes, YABU.

Tipping waiting staff is a throwback to the times before NMW. Now, waiting staff earn the same as gazillions of other people on NMW. Not sure why you feel there is a compulsion to tip waiting staff, unless you tip all people you come into contact with (plus of course those who work in the background that you might not see as much of) who don't earn very much....... so, when in the restaurant, if there is someone cleaning the toilets - do you tip them? do you tip the lollipop lady each time you cross the road ? do you tip the person loading the shelves in the supermarket when you are there? do you tip the courier who delivers anything you order off the internet ? what about the person that sells you your ticket at the cinema? Or who shows you to your seat at the theatre? Or the car park attendant ? etc. etc.etc.

I'd like to see all of you who say you never tip and that the serves don't deserve it work as a waiter/waitress for a week in one of these places and put up with all the crap waitresses have to, then see if you rethink your stance on tipping

I've never worked in a restaurant, but I have worked in a shop, which is similarly paid for similar work, dealing with the rude public, being on your feet all day, cleaning up mess and the only 'tip' I ever got was to be sexually harrased by a couple of the regular customers.

If anyone can ever come up with a logical explanation, not 'it's the done thing' or 'they work hard for low wages', as to why waiting staff should be tipped when no-one ever tips retail staff, fast food workers, cleaners or care workers, I'll stop arguing that tipping in restaurants in the UK makes no sense whatsover, even though I still do it most times, because it's socially unacceptable not to.

I’ve read a few threads like this about tips and most posters say they never tip and it’s not a UK thing.

I ALWAYS tip unless it’s really bad service/food. I do tip hairdressers, nail technicians, taxi drivers etc.

Am I weird?

I can’t believe how many people are so tight and self absorbed

Like people who think we should give extra money to some people on min wage, but not everyone else on it, for no good reason?

I wouldn't say weird lol but I wouldn't say it's the norm. It's entirely your prerogative if you want to do that rather than be judged into it ;)

OP, you sound like a right stickybeak.

Why are you even friends with this woman? You don't sound like one, you look down on her. She possibly cringes at your 'shrapnel' tipping. I would but you'd never know because I wouldn't be as ill-mannered as you seem to be.

Go and stick your nose in the air and mind you don't trip up.

I'd like to see all of you who say you never tip and that the serves don't deserve it work as a waiter/waitress for a week

More than a week even. In a child-friendly chain. We were paid minimum wage like anyone else. Or do you tip everyone who earns minimum wage?

You sound really judgemental op.

For her £8 she got her meal and her daughter got a main, pudding and drink free!

But the restaurant not only got her repeat customer, which they wouldn’t have otherwise but they also got you eating in there because she suggested it to you. I’m guessing she has probably met other people in their whilst taking advantage of the offer and overall, the restaurant won’t have financially have lost out.

I do generally tip but I wouldn’t be embarrassed if I was with someone who didn’t - just like I hope they wouldn’t feel awkward if I wasn’t able to afford the tip and they could.

She can afford to eat out that often she can afford to tip.
YANBU

No one has to tip, its a choice. waiters and waitresses are doing a job just like everyone else that works, its not like because the restaurant is doing this deal the waiters miss out on money, There being paid a wage so shouldn't just be entitled to tips.

I waitressed for a while, and have worked in retail. World equally hard in both but only received tips for 1.

However I always tidy up after the kids including getting bits off the floor.

DH tips though.

7daysaweek I used to waitress and never expected a tip. I tip now, mostly because it’s frowned upon to not. As pp have said in UK you get paid NMW, while not a lot, it is enough to survive on I found. It’s a nice bonus if you get tipped, but people shouldn’t feel bad for not tipping.

I tip because I lived for a long time in US and it feels wrong not to, but I think it's a terrible way of rewarding people and in the UK where the minimum wage is higher I don't think it's at all appropriate, especially since tips can just be pocketed by the restaurant anyway. Lots of people on minimum wage do harder jobs than servers and don't get tipped. Restaurant owners should manage and reward their staff properly and put the actual price of that on the menu, not push the responsibility off on to their customers.

For her £8 she got her meal and her daughter got a main, pudding and drink free!
they are not free though, they are included in the adult meal. The restaurant is not a charity, they are still a business.

I'd like to see all of you who say you never tip and that the serves don't deserve it work as a waiter/waitress for a week
done it, and still don't tip unless deserved

I do like to leave a tip, especially if I feel the waiter/waitress have been very helpful and kind to our DDs. In chain restaurants where you order at the bar it is less of an issue tbh. In the OP's scenario it does seem like she was being a bit tight, but it's up to her ultimately.