How can it be possible that we would be so skint!

[BasinHaircut]

Just doing some sums to basically work out whether we can ‘afford’ to have another child. We can, but I’ve just worked out that even though DH and I bring home £4500 per month net, PLUS childcare vouchers of £385 per month, once paying another set of childcare fees 4 days per week, after everything was paid out each month we would have £750 left over for food, petrol and other spends. There would be 4 of us to feed so let’s say £300 a month, plus £100 petrol. £350 for all of us for anything else.

How is it possible that we would have so little? I know it would be short term (until free 15 hours kick in and then better again once they started school) but what the fuck???

Going through our expenses it’s only things such as amazon prime and Apple Music that we could feasibly claw back each month. Nothing that would make a dent.

We are lucky I suppose that we own our house, have renovated it already so not expecting any big expenses in the medium term. But still, even Xmas would be a real struggle!

This is not a stealth boast I promise, I genuinely cannot understand how we can have so much coming in and still not even have enormous go to justify a takeaway if we have another child.

Ohh please! You aren't 'skint'. Stop making fun of the real poor!

yourwan no need to be nasty. I agree you are just sounding bitter now.

I know this is AIBU and people like to pile in and try to bully people in a faceless way, but you should probably step away if you are good no to start calling people idiots.

Explain to me how I’m an idiot exactly?

*going

YourWanMajella
I'm just going off the (in my view) typical people I come into contact with socially, in my job, see on Facebook and who I observe when at these places. People who don't necessarily have loads of money but are asking on Facebook, at playgroups or in passing what are you up to, where are you going? etc because we've got to find things to do over half term/the weekend. This is when play centres, zoo trips and so on get trotted out as a standard exercise in spending time with your children. This is also why cheaper places to eat where the kids eat free, there are two for ones etc are busy and they're not necessarily populated by people like the op but people who have an average wage but see eating out as the norm.
Ofcourse not everyone is like that but I think a lot of people these days eat out, have takeaways because that's what they believe you do, whether you have truly got the funds to do it or not.

yourwan no need to be nasty. I agree you are just sounding bitter now

I'm neither nasty nor bitter (what would I have to be bitter about exactly) and your thread is now bordering on the offensive. Waah waah waah, I'm poor when we have more than 90% of the country. Where's my tiny violin?

If you are offended you don’t need to keep reading or contributing.

I think multiple posters have tried to explain to you (including myself) that it’s not about being on the breadline or below, or about not having enough money to put the heating on, that’s a totally different thread. If you can’t see that there is room in the world for both that and this discussion then I think we all know who the idiot is....

I hate this view that because someone earns more they can’t moan about the cost of housing or childcare.

No need for name calling EVER.

The majority of this thread IS offensive and the op definitely is.

If op had posted in a neutral way asking for help with budgeting, fair enough. To say she's SKINT when she clearly has no idea of the concept is bloody insulting to the ACTUALLY skint who are going without food, clothes, heat NECESSITIES. Not just considering cutting back on leisure activities and holidays.

Please explain to me how I’ve been offensive?

Skint is a relative term, it’s not like I’m saying I’m living in poverty.

If you can’t see that there is room in the world for both that and this discussion then I think we all know who the idiot is.
There is, and you need to use different words. WE do all know, and its not me.

Please explain to me how I’ve been offensive?

How many times do you need to be told?

I still don’t get it so maybe I am.

But then I accept that sometimes I can be offended by harmless things that others say and do. But that’s the great thing about not living in North Korea, we have freedom of speech here. If I don’t like something I generally just move on

BECAUSE there are KIDS going hungry, without suitable clothes, homeless, parents going without food so their kids eat...

To then claim you're "skint" when you mean HUNDREDS in disposable income, an amount by the way that is £10 less than my rent, your income is about 5 times mine.

en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/skint

And THIS is being skint:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-43611527

www.cpag.org.uk/child-poverty-facts-and-figures

Perhaps one of these is near you and would be very grateful for an in person donation. Venture out of your Ivory tower and look beyond your privilege

www.peabody.org.uk/resident-services/benefits-and-budgeting/food-banks

www.trusselltrust.org/get-help/find-a-foodbank/

But then I accept that sometimes I can be offended by harmless things that others say and do

And some can just keep being offensive and pretending they haven't a clue why they are pissing people off.

I do understand. I just don’t understand why you are coming back if you are so offended.

I AM ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT MY OWN FINANCIAL POSITION

I do understand. I just don’t understand why you are coming back if you are so offended.

I think it's the title of the thread OP - I think most people see 'skint' as an term to use for poverty, rather than just being squeezed.

If you'd called out 'Can we afford our current lifestyle if we have another kid?' or 'I though we would have a more comfortable life given our income' I don't think you'd have the same reaction.

*called it, not called out

People do overreact terribly online though - in real life I hear plenty of non poverty line people talk about being skint.

If anything, my really hard up family member never uses that term because it’s just her daily reality.

Yes speedy but my OP is quite clear and contains numbers, and we are 16 pages in, so I think we have established what we are talking about.

Some people are just trying to pick a fight

Plus it’s Aibu where people go out of their way to partake in the “who’s the biggest cunt” competition.

Skint is just a word that most normal use to mean “I can’t afford that.”

Yes speedy but my OP is quite clear and contains numbers, and we are 16 pages in, so I think we have established what we are talking about.

I agree and I got what you meant from reading the posts, but it's easy for me to not be offended as I'm relatively comfortable in financial terms. I can't predict how I would react if I was on the breadline...

I agree the choice of the word ‘skint’ in the OP’s thread title was perhaps misleading- £350 spare cash at the end of each month is not ‘skint’. However it’s been made clear that she didn’t mean skint as in living with no money for essentials and I think it’s a bit much to continue to berate people who have a decent income for asking for advise and saying they don’t know how easy they have it. Of course they (and I’m including myself in this bracket) have it easier. But they’re still allowed to talk about budget/spending habits etc.

I AM ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT MY OWN FINANCIAL POSITION

Of course you are. But you could do it in a way that is not offensive to people who are actually poor, then you wouldn't have got the responses you did.

Its not your position that is the issue here, but your attitude. You're in a privileged and lucky position. You are well off. It's vulgar and rude to pretend to be poor.

She’s not pretending to be poor though, op merely used a term that many use when they’re feeling a bit up against it.