Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about MNetters 'outing' other users?

76 replies

fcekinghell · 04/04/2018 09:25

So I've changed my username....again. I do this quite often since I joined MN about 10 years ago to avoid being identified or outed.

I've had to change it again because of a recent thread I wrote that people disagreed with - it's mumsnet, it happens I know.

Two posters searched my username to find other things I'd posted about, to catch me out or to see if I was a troll, I don't know. This seriously bugs me. I don't care if people disagree with me, but to search my previous posts makes me feel a bit vulnerable, especially as some of my posts have been about things that are sensitive to me.

I don't want these concerns to be used against me as some kind of defence or argument against me on other threads. There's also the risk of being outed, or identified if all my posts were put together, which is why I try to name change often.

Why do users do this? Why not just have a normal disagreement without troll hunting or whatever it's called? Is there anything I can do?

As I said I've been on MN for about 10 years and I can see how my frequent username changes can make me appear to be a troll, but I'm not.

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 04/04/2018 09:29

I would think it's about understanding the context of your post and opinion. I'm not a big searcher, but I will check it out when I think someone's point of view is odd or hard to understand. Sometimes what I find makes me more empathic, sometimes it leads me to disengage. I don't think in terms of outing someone, just in terms of how best to respond to their post.

Eggzandbacon · 04/04/2018 09:29

I also sometimes change details to make myself unidentifiable- where I live etc and then this has been used against me when someone has disagreed with what I have said. Pathetic

ChevalierTialys · 04/04/2018 09:31

I'm with you OP, been on here since July 2007 and like to change username fairly regularly (usually keep them for around 6 months to a year) for privacy, thread-gone-sour, boredom reasons. I also don't like the idea of prior posts being searched and used against me.

I think all you can do is report the posters for troll hunting.

AlonsoTigerHeart · 04/04/2018 09:33

Yep I've had it too, it's shit.
I regularly change usernames, the age/sex of kids and location.

People who call troll constantly are grating, Report and stay quiet.

Original poster
fcekinghell · 04/04/2018 09:35

yes that's what I mean, I change small details in my posts to be less identifying and it's like "you didn't say this in your last post"

And it's the regulars who do it, usernames that have been around since I've been here, like they run MN or something.

OP posts:
Dolphincrossing · 04/04/2018 09:36

People get suspicious.

sailorcherries · 04/04/2018 09:40

How do you change usernames? I've seen it mentioned and never known how to haha.

shouldHAVEcouldHAVE · 04/04/2018 09:43

I’ve recognised somebody in RL from one single post they’d written.
It’s scary how easy it is to identify someone so I’m a prolific name changer too and also change info about myself.

significantAir · 04/04/2018 09:44

I've seen it happen a few times recently in feminism chat.

As soon as someone disagrees with the echo chamber their posting history or lack of it is listed.

It's a very aggressive thing to do.

MsGameandWatching · 04/04/2018 09:45

Posters who are very invested in MN or "winning" a discussion do this. I think it's rather sad. I'd be embarrassed to admit to doing it.

pannikin · 04/04/2018 09:45

I do the same as you OP, name change frequently and change slight details about my post. I can categorically say I am not a troll, I have been here about 5 or 6 years now, since I discovered it when I was pregnant with my first. I have friends and family who I know use MN and I am paranoid about being recognised Blush
I've also recognised other people in the past so I just stop reading.
However I do advance search if I notice people acting like a dickhead on a thread. Often, they're purposefully obtuse across the entire site and their entire MN persona is just 'dickhead' and I think they post to upset or wind people up. I'm sure people will have a few names springing to mind!

TheCrystalChandelier · 04/04/2018 09:52

I don’t think it’s always about troll hunting though. Sometimes context is useful e.g. a poster posts that they’re upset that their partner is going away for the weekend and they have to stay home and look after the kids. They post in such a way as to garner sympathy from the masses and by the time we’re twenty posts in the OP is clearly in an abusive relationship and should LTB immediately. Except that if you did a search on the OP’s previous posts you would find that said OP has been away for the past 25 weekends, the children are not the partner’s and he’s the one earning all the money and paying for it. (I’m using an extreme example here and not one which exists as far as I am aware.)

Sometimes context is important.

alwaysthepessimist · 04/04/2018 09:55

I don't even know how to change my username.....

Springnowplease · 04/04/2018 09:58

I change every couple of months. I didn't for ages but a demented person disagreed with me about something quite trivial and kept quoting irrelevant posts on a thread. I found it quite scary.

MaisyPops · 04/04/2018 10:06

I've not seen it happening much. Maybe I'm on thr wrong threads.

Only time I've seen it lately was when someone was having a go about a teacher and saying their child was always amazingly behaved and polite and another poster said 'hang on but you've recently been posting how your DC is displaying the type of behaviour the teacher has mentioned at home'.

Or someone's posted about ttc/pregnancy and a dilemma with their glowing reports of their DP and another poster has said 'but recently you've had a thread where you've been arguing badly and he isn't pulling his weight at home'.

Both of those I'd have said were fair game as it changes our understanding of the post.

People being a dickhead for no reason isn't needed though.

HelpTheTigers · 04/04/2018 10:06

Personally, I don't think that it's such a big deal but I understand why some posters may not feel happy about it. I am more than happy if someone wants to check my previous comments if they suspect that I am trolling, but have also changed names a couple of times a few years ago so that I could not be identified by a post. Wink

Out of interest, I have often wondered if you can change your name back to one you have used in the past so that you can flip between names on a thread. Does anyone know this please as it would explain something that I have always been curious about.

InvisibleUnicorn · 04/04/2018 10:13

I am about to name change again 👍🏻

Yes, you can switch back and forth @HelpTheTigers I try super hard not to though (sometimes do to reply on an old thread or something). Switching between for reasons of sock puppeting is utterly weird and twisted, but posters do do it.

Mintychoc1 · 04/04/2018 10:13

Yes, you can change your name any time to any of your previous names

Prestonsflowers · 04/04/2018 10:15

What does sock puppeting mean?

picklemepopcorn · 04/04/2018 10:17

Sock puppet ting is posting 7nder another name to control the direction of the thread

picklemepopcorn · 04/04/2018 10:17

So, the OP may have a sock puppet that disagrees with her, or backs her up, in order to keep the thread interesting.

Mightymucks · 04/04/2018 10:19

Generally it’s because the user being searched is being deceptive in order to get the answers they want rather than being honest looking for constructive device.

One recent example I have seen of this is a poster asking how she can cut off what she claims is an abusive ex from seeing their DD claiming that DD hates seeing him and it distressed her. That OP claimed she was the perfect mother who provided the perfect home but was being persecuted by her ex.

A quick advanced search revealed that the OP had a catalogue of mental and physical health problems and refused to leave the house ever including for her daughter’s parents evenings or school plays, shows etc.

The DD had in fact been very vocal about enjoying access time with her Dad, going on holiday and spending time with her extended family and hating being trapped at home with the OP and resenting her for trying to cut her off from her Dad. And that the OP was adamant that if she could not have days out or holidays DD shouldn’t either and that if she couldn’t go to her parents evenings or shows nobody should. Because it was more important to the OP that the DF didn’t get to do something she couldn’t than it was her DD was supported at important events.

But every time her DD tried to talk to her about her problems, OPs response was to say ‘Oh this is just your father talking, I am a perfect mother, this is a perfect home and if you don’t think that it’s because your father is putting ideas in your head. We need to cut him off so you realise how wonderful I am and how awful he is’. That poster is quite obviously an abusive manipulator.

But if posters hadn’t advanced searched and taken it at face value they would have responded as though she was some poor victim who was a great Mum and advised her how to get rid of the Dad. And then they would basically have been advising an abusive manipulative mother how to better isolate her victim (DD) and cut off her probably blameless ex. Oh. And she often asked advice which was essentially wondering how to stop the school and health professionals asking too many questions so her abuse wasn’t uncovered and DD didn’t get chance to tell anyone outside the home what she was doing.

Now, some posters, like you OP, would create a virtue out of not using advanced search to uncover this and therefore giving abuse enabling advice. Because apparently there is some unwritten rule it is ‘bad form’ which makes enabling abuse prefereable to pointing out inconsistencies.

Personally I think it’s much like real life. If you don’t tell lies or try and manipulate other posters or do shitty things IRL and expect to be told you’re wonderful then you probably won’t fall foul of being Advanced Search.

Because basically what moans like the OP amount to is a long whinge that somebody has called you out for shitty behaviour.

Here’s a piece of free advice: If you don’t behave like a dickhead you can’t get called out for it.

You’re welcome.

anneoneill · 04/04/2018 10:20

Why do people think posts on a public forum have any sort of privacy? You should always take steps not to be doxxed, but crying because two posts under the same screen name on the same site are linked is a bit precious.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 04/04/2018 10:20

Probably best not to divulge too much personal stuff OP if you don't want posters cross referencing your posts.

Sometimes I AS a poster because something stands out on their thread as strange or whatever. There's no rules about not doing that.

IIlustriouslyIllogical · 04/04/2018 10:25

Namechange all the time, it's the only way.

I've had it in a previous life - someone saying something like "why would you care, you voted Tory" on a totally separate subject....

Swipe left for the next trending thread